N
Nenos
Member
- Jan 23, 2020
- 8
Throughout therapy and even AA meetings all I hear about is people "keeping busy" -- staying distracted from the SI. Is that all there is though? Is it really a good viewpoint? The way I view it: work, family, friends, hobbies, it's all a distraction until I die.
I mean it yeah "works." Tomorrow I got shit to do. I have rent to pay. People to keep up with. Things I can't leave behind. Can't go just yet. Too busy.
But the idea that it's all to keep me distracted really takes away the meaning of it all. I'm stuggling to find hobbies or connect with people having this in the back of my mind. I'm not any happier or doing any better, I'm just "busy" now. Is that what "keeping busy" means or is something supposed to come out of it?
I've been holding onto what I thought was teenage angst for nearly two decades now, I don't know what to do. Now that I'm keeping busy, therapy feels like weekly checkins and congratulations. Yet I'm still dead set on ending my own life, and I can't say that to anyone.
I mean it yeah "works." Tomorrow I got shit to do. I have rent to pay. People to keep up with. Things I can't leave behind. Can't go just yet. Too busy.
But the idea that it's all to keep me distracted really takes away the meaning of it all. I'm stuggling to find hobbies or connect with people having this in the back of my mind. I'm not any happier or doing any better, I'm just "busy" now. Is that what "keeping busy" means or is something supposed to come out of it?
I've been holding onto what I thought was teenage angst for nearly two decades now, I don't know what to do. Now that I'm keeping busy, therapy feels like weekly checkins and congratulations. Yet I'm still dead set on ending my own life, and I can't say that to anyone.