Help Keep getting turned away by therapists / councillors.

[abigail]

Hey friends,

Does anyone have any tips on how to… actually get help?

Over the last few weeks i've reached out to a few therapists (some independent, some companies), and have been turned away due to being "too high of a risk" •_•

Would appreciate some advice on this lol

Money isn't an issue, I've saved up enough over the years to either fix me or help fix others after I pass via charity.

 

[bed]

i've been in that exact position, it's so strange to me that you have to be less depressed to seek help in that way. a tip a social worker once gave me to have access to more resources was to lie on the questionnaires or to them about how bad you're feeling so you can get access to that therapy. it helped me get access to a new therapist at the time and then i was able to slowly open up more and more about how i was feeling.

 

[abigail]

i've been in that exact position, it's so strange to me that you have to be less depressed to seek help in that way. a tip a social worker once gave me to have access to more resources was to lie on the questionnaires or to them about how bad you're feeling so you can get access to that therapy. it helped me get access to a new therapist at the time and then i was able to slowly open up more and more about how i was feeling.

It really is a strange experience. "No you can't get therapy you're too depressed." — it's such a funny thing.

If this continues i'll definitely employ your advice on not letting in on the whole story. Though with me there really isn't much beyond the desire to get on a bus

 

[CatLvr]

Isn't it interesting that "mental health professionals" make a HUGE deal out of being completely transparent with them and then when you are they freak out, drop you and basically brand you with a giant letter R??

It's the very definition of insane. Lol This whole therapist/client relationship is about YOU saying things to help ME feel better, NOT ME hiding things from you and then paying you to make me feel even more invalidated that I was 50 minutes ago!

I wish I knew the answer. For me, so far, this site has done more for my mental health than all the pills and "therapy" and yes, even inpatient facilities did for me.

Don't get me wrong -- I am still planning on taking a bus ride but maybe that time isn't quite as soon as I thought it might be before I found SaSu.

 

[abigail]

Isn't it interesting that "mental health professionals" make a HUGE deal out of being completely transparent with them and then when you are they freak out, drop you and basically brand you with a giant letter R??

It's the very definition of insane. Lol This whole therapist/client relationship is about YOU saying things to help ME feel better, NOT ME hiding things from you and then paying you to make me feel even more invalidated that I was 50 minutes ago!

I wish I knew the answer. For me, so far, this site has done more for my mental health than all the pills and "therapy" and yes, even inpatient facilities did for me.

Don't get me wrong -- I am still planning on taking a bus ride but maybe that time isn't quite as soon as I thought it might be before I found SaSu.

haha yeah.

For me my bus ride is ~5 years out, I have a lot to do before then to make sure I don't leave the people close to me too fuxked up.

I hope for the people close to me that I can overcome this, but i'm relatively indifferent on the matter. I'm only reaching out to these "therapists" because of my husbands request.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Over the last few weeks i've reached out to a few therapists (some independent, some companies), and have been turned away due to being "too high of a risk" •_•

What do they mean by this? Are they contractually obliged not to extend their services to you? What risk? Perhaps they're suggesting that they do not specialize in the kind of help you need?

 

[abigail]

What do they mean by this? Are they contractually obliged not to extend their services to you? What risk? Perhaps they're suggesting that they do not specialize in the kind of help you need?

I've had several different responses, but they all boil down to "You're too high of a risk for us to take on", basically, they want to section me (forcefully take me from my home and put me in a facility) rather than help me.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I've had several different responses, but they all boil down to "You're too high of a risk for us to take on", basically, they want to section me (forcefully take me from my home and put me in a facility) rather than help me.

So if they think that, I wonder why they have not done it yet. I'm not sure what the laws are were you live, but if a team of mental health professionals think you are high risk and need to be sectioned, wouldn't them going against their assessment be medical malpractice, lol?

I've never heard of this. I myself sought therapy and literally told them that I will kill myself face to face and they still offered their services.

 

[abigail]

So if they think that, I wonder why they have not done it yet. I'm not sure what the laws are were you live, but if a team of mental health professionals think you are high risk and need to be sectioned, wouldn't them going against their assessment be medical malpractice, lol?

I've never heard of this. I myself sought therapy and literally told them that I will kill myself face to face and they still offered their services.

haha they can't do it to me as i'm using a fake alias & refusing any non online sessions. I knew going into this that they would probably try section me so i've taken precautions

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I would go with @bed 's advice. Maybe in-person sessions would also be better for you too. Hope all goes well on your recovery journey.

 

[abigail]

I would go with @bed 's advice. Maybe in-person sessions would also be better for you too. Hope all goes well on your recovery journey.

Maybe. Though i'd have to become less of a "high-risk" patient for that, as otherwise there's a non-zero chance they physically won't let me leave due to local laws

 

[Dot]

Maybe. Though i'd have to become less of a "high-risk" patient for that, as otherwise there's a non-zero chance they physically won't let me leave due to local laws

Thy wll genrlly only sectn u if u hve immedi8 plns fr ctb

Wht r u tellng th/ therpsts whn u apprch thm

 

[abigail]

Thy wll genrlly only sectn u if u hve immedi8 plns fr ctb

Wht r u tellng th/ therpsts whn u apprch thm

I tell them how I honestly feel, that I don't plan to be around for longer than a few more years & that I know the way I want to ctb.

I haven't been threatened with sectioning yet, though all people I talk to suddenly become very interested in face to face appointments instead of virtual ones when I tell them.

Could be me overthinking everything, but it feels as if they only want to meet me face to face so I'm trapped…

 

[Dot]

I tell them how I honestly feel, that I don't plan to be around for longer than a few more years & that I know the way I want to ctb.

I haven't been threatened with sectioning yet, though all people I talk to suddenly become very interested in face to face appointments instead of virtual ones when I tell them.

Could be me overthinking everything, but it feels as if they only want to meet me face to face so I'm trapped…

Thy mght wn2 mt u fce-t/-fce as thy thnk tht treatmnt wld b mre intensve in persn whch u mght nd

If u r sayng tht u r nt plannng 2 b arnd thn thy mght belve tht ur mnd = alrdy mde up & tht u wll nt N-gge in th/ therpy prcess

E.g Y r u lookng fr therpy if u d/ nt pln on c-ing n.e chnges or workng 2wrds thm

 

[abigail]

Thy mght wn2 mt u fce-t/-fce as thy thnk tht treatmnt wld b mre intensve in persn whch u mght nd

If u r sayng tht u r nt plannng 2 b arnd thn thy mght belve tht ur mnd = alrdy mde up & tht u wll nt N-gge in th/ therpy prcess

E.g Y r u lookng fr therpy if u d/ nt pln on c-ing n.e chnges or workng 2wrds thm

That's fair. I have no intention of doing anything face-to-face though due to personal reasons.

Hopefully I can find someone who will be able to work with me on that.

 

[Voyage]

Sounds like a part of you do want to put in an honest effort, for your husband if nothing else.
If you have the economic means, maybe try a psychodynamic therapist. (It's covered in the sticky post for therapies, but the post is quite incomplete as you'd expect)
Instead of blaming suffering on biology or "impaired cognition", their basis is more humanistic: you have psychological problems because you suffer(ed). Often times the trauma is from childhood and you don't even recognize that it's abuse, or you've even forgotten about it.
I believe it's less likely to have a dehumanizing experience from them.
If a practitioner is willing to work on your case, they're putting their reputation at risk to help you, which I think filters out a lot of cash grabbers for you.

 

[Dot]

Therapy Methods & Alternatives Explained

"If you want to help someone you need to know something about them" - 'It's A Wonderful Life' Considering therapy but don't know where to start? Hopefully this can be a starting point about what all those different terms mean, and help to pick the right therapist. There are also options further...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thre = info covrng th/ diffrnt typs of therpis availbl

U mght fnd 1 whch reson8tes - e.g Voyge sggestd psychodynamc

 

[Gabbi_Station]

Hey friends,

Does anyone have any tips on how to… actually get help?

Over the last few weeks i've reached out to a few therapists (some independent, some companies), and have been turned away due to being "too high of a risk" •_•

Would appreciate some advice on this lol

Money isn't an issue, I've saved up enough over the years to either fix me or help fix others after I pass via charity.

Same issue- honestly I think part of the reason my last therapist went so badly was because I most likely have PTSD from an abusive childhood and my therapist didn't know how to treat it

 

[abigail]

Sounds like a part of you do want to put in an honest effort, for your husband if nothing else.
If you have the economic means, maybe try a psychodynamic therapist. (It's covered in the sticky post for therapies, but the post is quite incomplete as you'd expect)
Instead of blaming suffering on biology or "impaired cognition", their basis is more humanistic: you have psychological problems because you suffer(ed). Often times the trauma is from childhood and you don't even recognize that it's abuse, or you've even forgotten about it.
I believe it's less likely to have a dehumanizing experience from them.
If a practitioner is willing to work on your case, they're putting their reputation at risk to help you, which I think filters out a lot of cash grabbers for you.

I really do. I would like to be able to have a "normal" life & not have this desire to get on an early bus ride. My economics are thankfully okay, I'm willing to spend as much as it takes to be better, I have no other use for the money. I'll definitely look into that thread, that type of therapy does sound appealing.

Therapy Methods & Alternatives Explained

"If you want to help someone you need to know something about them" - 'It's A Wonderful Life' Considering therapy but don't know where to start? Hopefully this can be a starting point about what all those different terms mean, and help to pick the right therapist. There are also options further...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thre = info covrng th/ diffrnt typs of therpis availbl

U mght fnd 1 whch reson8tes - e.g Voyge sggestd psychodynamc

Thank you

Same issue- honestly I think part of the reason my last therapist went so badly was because I most likely have PTSD from an abusive childhood and my therapist didn't know how to treat it

I'm sorry to hear that. If I managed to find someone who is able to help me i'll definitely keep this thread updated, hopefully that may help you as well.

 

[CatLvr]

Same issue- honestly I think part of the reason my last therapist went so badly was because I most likely have PTSD from an abusive childhood and my therapist didn't know how to treat it

I have had that same issue in the past. I had one therapist who wanted to meet my parents. I told her I would ask but my mother will refuse to come. My father will come but he will only stay 10-15 minutes and this is what he will say "blah blah blah". Sure enough that is exactly what happened, right down to the "You seem like a nice woman. I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances."

After his monologue he stood up, put his jacket on and left. Never even acknowledged I was in the room. I could have been a bookshelf.

My poor therapist. She was shook to her bones. White as a sheet she looked at me and said "I so sorry. I have to admit I had thought that some of the things you've told me about your family was embellished a bit. But you know them better than I know myself. Let me see if I can find someone better equipped to help you because honestly I'm at a loss for words right now."

 

[abigail]

Hi friends,

Good news~ I've found a person who's able to help me. They seem a bit apprehensive towards taking me on as a client but they are happy to give me a go.

I have my first session tomorrow, i'll keep everyone updated.

 

[CatLvr]

Hi friends,

Good news~ I've found a person who's able to help me. They seem a bit apprehensive towards taking me on as a client but they are happy to give me a go.

I have my first session tomorrow, i'll keep everyone updated.

I am SO happy for you!! I hope you guys can work together and you can start feeling better soon!

 

[abigail]

Hi friends, my therapist should be calling me for the first time within the next few minutes… i'm terrified. i'll let you know how it goes

 

[CatLvr]

Hi friends, my therapist should be calling me for the first time within the next few minutes… i'm terrified. i'll let you know how it goes

Take a deep breath and try to relax. It will be okay.

 

[abigail]

Hi friends, my therapist should be calling me for the first time within the next few minutes… i'm terrified. i'll let you know how it goes

Hi friends, sorry I passed out afterwards as it was a lot to deal with emotionally. I think it went okay.

I have another session next week, though he is pressuring me to give my address in-case of a crisis (I mentioned how I'm not giving it out due to fear of being sectioned and he only asked if i'd been sectioned before and not that he wouldn't do it…).

I hope i'm able to convince him not to require my address. I think this might be working for me.

 

[Gabbi_Station]

I have had that same issue in the past. I had one therapist who wanted to meet my parents. I told her I would ask but my mother will refuse to come. My father will come but he will only stay 10-15 minutes and this is what he will say "blah blah blah". Sure enough that is exactly what happened, right down to the "You seem like a nice woman. I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances."

After his monologue he stood up, put his jacket on and left. Never even acknowledged I was in the room. I could have been a bookshelf.

My poor therapist. She was shook to her bones. White as a sheet she looked at me and said "I so sorry. I have to admit I had thought that some of the things you've told me about your family was embellished a bit. But you know them better than I know myself. Let me see if I can find someone better equipped to help you because honestly I'm at a loss for words right now."

Yup- they ALWAYS somehow think it's embellished when I tell them my dad used to body shame my previous therapist when I was IN therapy FOR an eating disorder and that my sister used to write my previous therapist ten page letters about how my depression was somehow the cause of her infertility

Truthfully it's kind of miracle that I am this stable lol

 

[abigail]

hey friends, good news(ish)!

my therapist has agreed to another appointment with me & that he's okay for me to remain anonymous. I have the appointment ~1pm(utc) on monday.

he did say that he wants to talk to me about why i wish to be anonymous, though i think he's okay with it for now. hopefully he will be okay with it permanently, id hate to make progress and then have to restart.

 

[Soupster]

A part of wanting your address, aside from being able to 'help' in a crisis or if they feel the need to section you, is to be able to prove they have/had the legal right to treat you. Treating someone, even online, who is in a geographical region in which you are not licensed can carry stiff penalties. I am curious how you are anonymously paying for the services?

I generally don't encourage people to lie to thier therapists or doctors - if we lie to them they can't trust us and if they can't trust us, we won't get the best medical care. In this case, a white lie to preserve your anonymity while still providing what the therapist 'needs' might be justified. Find a local abandoned home/business/empty lot and use it as your address. It gives them something to put in thier records and alleviates the tension of 'why won't they give me this' / 'I hope they don't cut me off for not giving them this'.

 

[abigail]

A part of wanting your address, aside from being able to 'help' in a crisis or if they feel the need to section you, is to be able to prove they have/had the legal right to treat you. Treating someone, even online, who is in a geographical region in which you are not licensed can carry stiff penalties. I am curious how you are anonymously paying for the services?

I generally don't encourage people to lie to thier therapists or doctors - if we lie to them they can't trust us and if they can't trust us, we won't get the best medical care. In this case, a white lie to preserve your anonymity while still providing what the therapist 'needs' might be justified. Find a local abandoned home/business/empty lot and use it as your address. It gives them something to put in thier records and alleviates the tension of 'why won't they give me this' / 'I hope they don't cut me off for not giving them this'.

hi friend, i'm paying through my company paypal which displays a synonym rather than my real name, for further anonymity my company paypal name is not the same as my registered company name, so reverse lookups won't help.

I get that there is a level of trust that is required, but that same trust is required on my end. I fear that i will not be able to be fully honest with my therapist if there is a chance they will section me.

I don't trust myself to be open with him if he's legally obligated to send me to a mental health facility if I say "the wrong thing".

 

[Soupster]

hi friend, i'm paying through my company paypal which displays a synonym rather than my real name, for further anonymity my company paypal name is not the same as my registered company name, so reverse lookups won't help.

I get that there is a level of trust that is required, but that same trust is required on my end. I fear that i will not be able to be fully honest with my therapist if there is a chance they will section me.

I don't trust myself to be open with him if he's legally obligated to send me to a mental health facility if I say "the wrong thing".

That's great that you have a, at least mostly, anonymous method. Please don't take any of the following as a criticism - just unsolicited advice for those who want to be extra cautious in maintaining thier anonymity. I don't know where you live, but I'm going to guess outside the US (sectioned isn't the common terminology in the US). That said laws definitely vary. In the US this method would only slow down the authorities from finding you, not provide anonymity. PayPal would be legally required with an emergency court order to reveal your associated payment/banking methods. In turn those financial institutions would be required to likewise out you and your location.

To anyone trying this in the US I'd strongly advise setting up a PayPal or other payment provider using a VPN (when creating it, and *every* time you access it), and exclusively using prepaid cards that are purchased with cash. While this can still potentially be traced with some methods, the time, effort and cost involved becomes prohibitive. Also,in a true 'emergency' could not be completed in time to 'save' you.