TiredJellyfish
New Member
- Feb 4, 2026
- 3
It's difficult to put it into word, i think. I can....feel joy, laugh, have fun. But also, i can as quick change from feeling genuine joy, to numb. I am almost mostly detached through out my live, i barely remember what happen in the past. But i also always feel a sadness inside of me. One that it persistant, sometimes small, sometimes vague, sometimes loud, sometimes overwhelming but still there.
And i do feel anxious, all through out my life of not daring to make an order at a restaurant, so much to the point i didn't dare talk to my own supervisor at an internship in fear of disturbing them. It's a stressfull 5 month of trying to learn without accidentally upsetting anybody, i'm so high on anxiety i didn't realize how depressed it make me feel, the workload. I think i'm rambling.
But what i was wondering was, if what i feel, truly what i feel? Because i....can so quick changing from happy, to nothing, then depressed and anxious, then back to happy again. If i feel joy it's as if i never know sadnest. But if i feel sad it's as if i never feel joy. Or am i just....to detached? Because if i have to choose one constant? Prevalent? Feeling, it will be numbness.
And i do feel anxious, all through out my life of not daring to make an order at a restaurant, so much to the point i didn't dare talk to my own supervisor at an internship in fear of disturbing them. It's a stressfull 5 month of trying to learn without accidentally upsetting anybody, i'm so high on anxiety i didn't realize how depressed it make me feel, the workload. I think i'm rambling.
But what i was wondering was, if what i feel, truly what i feel? Because i....can so quick changing from happy, to nothing, then depressed and anxious, then back to happy again. If i feel joy it's as if i never know sadnest. But if i feel sad it's as if i never feel joy. Or am i just....to detached? Because if i have to choose one constant? Prevalent? Feeling, it will be numbness.
