I thought my life was shit. I wanted out. My husband of 24 years was suffering with severe depression. I supported him through it for over 2 years and it was so hard. He was self harming, suicidal, and drinking heavily. We both had issues with other substances. Friends and even family told me to leave him but I would never think of it. On January 2nd I went into hospital, exhausted, I had lost so much weight through stress and I had pneumonia. My husband was constantly texting me and calling me to see how I was. Then it stopped. I asked a friend to check on him and she found him dead. I still don't know what happened. It wasn't suicide, he just died. To say I am destroyed is an understatement. The aftermath is horrendous. So many people are affected. He would of never imagined how loved he was by so many people. None of us can, we think nobody cares but it isn't true. I still want to end my life but before it was to escape my situation and now it is to join the love of my life. We were young once, we travelled the world, we had so much fun. But life chews you up and spits you out. He died 3rd Jan, the funeral is on 31st. I have found comfort here at times and hope I can now. Sorry for the long post.
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I'm so very, very sorry for your lost @NorthernMonkey ! It sounds like you were an incredible, amazing, and most of all... loyal - wife: who stuck by him to the very end. I'm sure he'd thank you for that, if he could~ // I'm glad you were able to have that life-companion. . .
Suicides or any deaths will always be tragic for those left behind.
Sorry for your loss.
I have been in a relationship where we were both depressed so I know the strain of that too well.
Sorry for your loss.
I have been in a relationship where we were both depressed so I know the strain of that too well.
Thank you. It's good to know someone understands. I won be here long. I have to get through the funeral and next couple of painful weeks, then I'm off. I have my plan in place and feel good knowing it will all be over soon. I hope you are ok x
mortuarymary
Enlightened
- Jan 17, 2024
- 1,367
I'm checking in to see how you are xxx
eLdus
Member
- Apr 9, 2022
- 73
I'm sorry this has happened to you @NorthernMonkey. It's so hard to comprehend how life has turned out for many of us and the situations we find ourselves in.
I see your husband's funeral is today, I hope it's as bearable as possible.
And that there's some peace in knowing you'll be with him again.
I see your husband's funeral is today, I hope it's as bearable as possible.
And that there's some peace in knowing you'll be with him again.
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I am surviving. The funeral was yesterday, a lot of people came, I can't imagine that many turning up for me. The music was perfect and it went as well as a funeral can. Now I have to learn to live alone. And to cook, he did all the cooking :) Thanks so much for checking in x
mortuarymary
Enlightened
- Jan 17, 2024
- 1,367
I'm still here. Packing up our home of 16 years. It's amazing how much stuff we have accumulated. The worst part is realising that none of it matters. Huge collections of vinyl records and music books and memorabilia just become a problem. All those years my husband carefully collected these items and now they are just going to be sold to some greedy dealer who will profit greatly. At least they were. I decided I would rather give stuff away to normal people :) I put a sign in my window today saying free furniture and gave loads away. It felt great!!
