Venting JUST WAITING TO DIE!

[cscott]

Each day is literally just waking up and waiting for death.
I hate life, like I want nothing from it - in order to fully love death you have to hate life.

Well I really do hate everything mannnnnn

I get so annoyed at myself that I've let myself get this far and didn't just order stuff before.

Sometimes I just wanna cry from just the deep depression felt from within like I'm just so low & bored but then it's like why cry. What is the actual point, most of the time I'm lil so emotionless ..

one friend had from ss who was lil like another me in terms of experiencing everything I was going through exited almost a month ago & I get so annoyed I never took her up on her offer and exited with her.

Cause here I am rotting away.. BOREDEM is beyond belief, if it wasn't for SS & talking to some like souls on here I don't know what cause I'm so sickkkkk .. it's like each day of this sheer and utter boredom helps me tho to just accept any suffering to come with my exit out cause I'd rather a moment of uncomfortable other than a fucking lifetime of this SHiT!

I literally feel maxed outtttt! Like what more can I do to make the days just go.. I would love to pop all my benzos but when I take 'em the next morning I feel drownsy and even more depressed goddamit.

Death is the greatest prize!!!!!

I long for death. Complete & utter BLACKNESS ..

 

[FuneralCry]

I also see existing as being something completely undesirable, in my case I've certainly only ever wished for nothingness, the thought of permanent non-existence really is the only relief, it's true peace to me and perfection. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for as I get that it really can be so torturous feeling trapped here.