Discussion Just wait for death to come

[Chantal]

I am so anxious to die soon, afraid that my life will be longer than I can handle.

But, on the other hand, I think that after my suicide attempts and so much suffering, I may not have much time at all and it may be interesting to just wait to die.

I am 36 years old and have made several suicide attempts during this time. The ones that brought me closer to death were hanging in 2008 and propranolol overdose this year (which I've talked about in other posts). Do you think my life expectancy may still be long before these facts?

Well, I hope not.

I'm tired of trying to commit suicide. I'd just like to wait for death to come.

 

[Sweet emotion]

You could live until you're 90.

 

[BPD_LE]

I'm 37 and feel like I am just waiting for death. I've used and abused my body over the years as well as having psychotropic medications pumped into me since I was 14. I know I won't live till I'm 90. At 37 my body is wrecked. I may however, live another 30, and the thought of that is horrific. I can't live another 30 years like this. This is one of the main reasons I'm going to ctb.

 

[Chantal]

I'm 37 and feel like I am just waiting for death. I've used and abused my body over the years as well as having psychotropic medications pumped into me since I was 14. I know I won't live till I'm 90. At 37 my body is wrecked. I may however, live another 30, and the thought of that is horrific. I can't live another 30 years like this. This is one of the main reasons I'm going to ctb.

Your history looks a lot like mine. Even the age we begun to take meds is the same.

You could live until you're 90.

That would be a nightmare.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

I'm 37 and feel like I am just waiting for death. I've used and abused my body over the years as well as having psychotropic medications pumped into me since I was 14. I know I won't live till I'm 90. At 37 my body is wrecked. I may however, live another 30, and the thought of that is horrific. I can't live another 30 years like this. This is one of the main reasons I'm going to ctb.

First took meds when I was 17 for probably 5 to 6 years but that was enough to cause shit on top of how I abused my body. Whatever decision that was made, I wish you peace and joy (if possible).

 

[*KNAZ*]

I keep hoping my doctor will tell my a blood test showed I had cancer just so I could jump up and down for joy. No way would I ever pursue treatment.

 

[Nem]

Sorry to hear! In my experience, waiting for death is like waiting for someone to call you up out of the blue and offer you a job or money...never going to happen in our lifetimes.
I'd rather fast forward into death than live till I have tubes coming out of my asshole
Peace/hugs

 

[Haku]

Sorry to hear! In my experience, waiting for death is like waiting for someone to call you up out of the blue and offer you a job or money...never going to happen in our lifetimes.
I'd rather fast forward into death than live till I have tubes coming out of my asshole
Peace/hugs

I feel exactly the same way.

 

[Polka]

If you have a support network 36 is young enough to rebuild/change. Make some lists. Your next 20 years will likely be much healthier than some one at 46.