What I'm about to say might offend some jehovah's witnesses so apologies in advance :D.
(this is not the reason why I want to CTB but kinda helped me continue with my plans)
I'm sorry about punctuation, grammar and such.
So, there's my ex (20F) , who's a really sweet and charismatic girl... I thought. She's a Jehovah's Witness and we met during our last year of high school, let's call her 'B'.
I then approached B just for fun and didn't expect to be into her as much as I did, and after 3 months of talking to each other I mustered the courage to finally go in for a kiss... and it worked!?, then 3 months l proposed to be her boyfriend.. which she rejected saying how her family is unstable and that her religion wouldn't allow it, and I understood it perfectly fine without any fuss. Then 2 years later we ran into each other at uni and I tried to have something again with her, but this time we became friends with benefits for about 3 months before I proposed to her again, which this time she accepted and I got shook for I didn't expect it to happen. during the 5 months of our relationship everything was sunshine and rainbows since we never got into arguments and always talked everything out and had good communication ( or so I thought we did ). Then her mum all of a sudden changes her mind saying that I'm just wasting their time as there was no marriage after 5 months and that I would cheat on her since I'm not a jehovah's witness myself; thing is, though, even if I was a jehovah's witness it wouldn't be permissible as there isn't "dating" for them since they straight up marry.
All things aside, though, after we broke up we cried a lot together and had a supposed last conversation, but I made the huge mistake of going to her workplace to wait for her to finish her shift because things didn't happen the way I wanted them to happen. 1 day later her mum calls me saying that I'm sexually harassing her daughter and threatened to call her dad (she lives with stepdad and mum ) to "sort things out with me" and that I will regret my decisions... well I've been suicidal since before knowing her but what happened next confirms to me that the only option is suicide: she sent me a huge ass email explaining how I raped her and accused me of hacking her mum's phone (idk why).
Now look... all the times we had sex I had to make sure MORE than twice if she really wanted it because she's not really a talkative person, and she would always give me a confirmation, and now I'm left to think that she's only doing this because her mum might have found out about her losing her virginity to me and she doesn't want to take accountabilty saying that SHE also wanted to have sex and is now marking me as the culprit?! ( i could be wrong idk ).
I feel like my life is fucked up... even if I win all the accusations my whole life will be ruined because of a single accusation and I won't live the same way I'm living right now.
(this is not the reason why I want to CTB but kinda helped me continue with my plans)
I'm sorry about punctuation, grammar and such.
So, there's my ex (20F) , who's a really sweet and charismatic girl... I thought. She's a Jehovah's Witness and we met during our last year of high school, let's call her 'B'.
I then approached B just for fun and didn't expect to be into her as much as I did, and after 3 months of talking to each other I mustered the courage to finally go in for a kiss... and it worked!?, then 3 months l proposed to be her boyfriend.. which she rejected saying how her family is unstable and that her religion wouldn't allow it, and I understood it perfectly fine without any fuss. Then 2 years later we ran into each other at uni and I tried to have something again with her, but this time we became friends with benefits for about 3 months before I proposed to her again, which this time she accepted and I got shook for I didn't expect it to happen. during the 5 months of our relationship everything was sunshine and rainbows since we never got into arguments and always talked everything out and had good communication ( or so I thought we did ). Then her mum all of a sudden changes her mind saying that I'm just wasting their time as there was no marriage after 5 months and that I would cheat on her since I'm not a jehovah's witness myself; thing is, though, even if I was a jehovah's witness it wouldn't be permissible as there isn't "dating" for them since they straight up marry.
All things aside, though, after we broke up we cried a lot together and had a supposed last conversation, but I made the huge mistake of going to her workplace to wait for her to finish her shift because things didn't happen the way I wanted them to happen. 1 day later her mum calls me saying that I'm sexually harassing her daughter and threatened to call her dad (she lives with stepdad and mum ) to "sort things out with me" and that I will regret my decisions... well I've been suicidal since before knowing her but what happened next confirms to me that the only option is suicide: she sent me a huge ass email explaining how I raped her and accused me of hacking her mum's phone (idk why).
Now look... all the times we had sex I had to make sure MORE than twice if she really wanted it because she's not really a talkative person, and she would always give me a confirmation, and now I'm left to think that she's only doing this because her mum might have found out about her losing her virginity to me and she doesn't want to take accountabilty saying that SHE also wanted to have sex and is now marking me as the culprit?! ( i could be wrong idk ).
I feel like my life is fucked up... even if I win all the accusations my whole life will be ruined because of a single accusation and I won't live the same way I'm living right now.
