Venting Just venting I guess, don't know what to name this thread

[lemmeeleev]

Anybody else feel like everyone constantly knows what you're thinking. I know it sounds stupid and is completely impossible, but it just feels like it anyways. Like everyone can hear your thoughts or just know what you are thinking all the time. Then everyone ignores you and pretends like you don't exist, because they know that's exactly what you don't want. It's like everyone wants me dead, or even trying to get me to kill myself. This might make no sense and sound stupid and such, but I just can't seem to word it right.

 

[JustAboutDone]

It sounds like anxiety? Do you suffer from bad anxiety? Or do you feel that this is in any way a little bit of paranoia - in the mental health sense, not a derogatory way. Have you seen a mental health professional, I can't remember, forgive me if I asked you before.

I can't imagine that people can want you dead - mostly because even though I only know you on here you are such a nice person! So that part must be coming from your own inner thoughts. Xxx

 

[lemmeeleev]

It sounds like anxiety? Do you suffer from bad anxiety? Or do you feel that this is in any way a little bit of paranoia - in the mental health sense, not a derogatory way. Have you seen a mental health professional, I can't remember, forgive me if I asked you before.

I can't imagine that people can want you dead - mostly because even though I only know you on here you are such a nice person! So that part must be coming from your own inner thoughts. Xxx

I don't really know if it's anxiety or paranoia, maybe a bit of both? I've never seen a mental health professional or asked for help before, and I don't think I would be able to.

 

[brighter]

I don't really know if it's anxiety or paranoia, maybe a bit of both? I've never seen a mental health professional or asked for help before, and I don't think I would be able to.

How long have you been feeling like this? It might be worth a shot to see a professional, but obviously just do it in your own time, when you're comfortable, so you're more open to treatments and more willing to be honest about your feelings.

 

[RottenOdysseus]

I kind of know what you are feeling like. Sometimes I worry that I will think too loud and people will get mad :/ Maybe like I'll accidentally mutter what I'm thinking or something idk. I used to lowkey mutter my thoughts as a little kid so I think the fear of redoing it kind of stuck as an adult even though I haven't done it in like 15 years :/ I'm explaining myself poorly I feel like I'm getting the wrong point across/ not explaining myself well.

 

[lemmeeleev]

How long have you been feeling like this? It might be worth a shot to see a professional, but obviously just do it in your own time, when you're comfortable, so you're more open to treatments and more willing to be honest about your feelings.

A few years, getting worse each year. I wasn't planning to live this long, so I never seen a professional. And also the fear that comes with asking holds me back.

 

[brighter]

A few years, getting worse each year. I wasn't planning to live this long, so I never seen a professional. And also the fear that comes with asking holds me back.

I know how you feel. I've been feeling suicidal for quite a few years and haven't asked for professional help even though I have some crazy scary shit going on in my head. What scares you most? Talking to a stranger who isn't suicidal about your feelings?

 

[lemmeeleev]

I kind of know what you are feeling like. Sometimes I worry that I will think too loud and people will get mad :/ Maybe like I'll accidentally mutter what I'm thinking or something idk. I used to lowkey mutter my thoughts as a little kid so I think the fear of redoing it kind of stuck as an adult even though I haven't done it in like 15 years :/ I'm explaining myself poorly I feel like I'm getting the wrong point across/ not explaining myself well.

I get what you mean, although I can't relate with the part about speaking your thoughts our loud when you were younger.

 

[lemmeeleev]

I know how you feel. I've been feeling suicidal for quite a few years and haven't asked for professional help even though I have some crazy scary shit going on in my head. What scares you most? Talking to a stranger who isn't suicidal about your feelings?

Talking about it or even sometimes just mentioning I'm a human being with thoughts to someone. And that they will put me in a mental hospital if they find out I'm actively suicidal.

 

[RottenOdysseus]

I get what you mean, although I can't relate with the part about speaking your thoughts our loud when you were younger.

I was very very young tbh. I think I legit only did it once as well lol though idk since I was super young. I just muttered/thought "this is dumb" and the person I was talking to got very mad and told me they new what I thought/said. It spooked me ever since.

 

[21Neberg]

Talking about it or even sometimes just mentioning I'm a human being with thoughts to someone. And that they will put me in a mental hospital if they find out I'm actively suicidal.

For what it's worth, I had my first appointment with a therapist last week. I went all-out: told her about self harm and failed plans to catch the bus. So far I haven't been locked up, I am instead being referred to more serious psychiatrists, if that makes sense in English.

 

[lemmeeleev]

For what it's worth, I had my first appointment with a therapist last week. I went all-out: told her about self harm and failed plans to catch the bus. So far I haven't been locked up, I am instead being referred to more serious psychiatrists, if that makes sense in English.

It makes sense, and thanks, that helped a bit knowing they don't always throw the suicidal in a mental hospital.

 

[JustAboutDone]

They don't put you in a psychiatric hospital unless you a) have a clear plan to off yourself AND b) you fully intend to carry that through straight away. They don't actually want to lock people away, it's just a system designed to keep you safe from the danger of killing your self.

Whenever I see anyone from mental health services we always go through the same risk assessment at the end of the session and I say yes I may well ctb one day but there is no risk of it happening imminently. They are happy they have done their job, I'm happy I'm free to go!

 

[RottenOdysseus]

They don't put you in a psychiatric hospital unless you a) have a clear plan to off yourself AND b) you fully intend to carry that through straight away. They don't actually want to lock people away, it's just a system designed to keep you safe from the danger of killing your self.

Whenever I see anyone from mental health services we always go through the same risk assessment at the end of the session and I say yes I may well ctb one day but there is no risk of it happening imminently. They are happy they have done their job, I'm happy I'm free to go!

Don't they lock you up if you are more psychotic as well? I'm sure they wouldn't let a schizophrenic go.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Don't they lock you up if you are more psychotic as well? I'm sure they wouldn't let a schizophrenic go.

It would depend on whether you were a danger to yourself, to other people, whether you live alone or in a family group. There are lots of factors at play but it's not an automatic thing. The vast number of people suffering from schizophrenia are more likely to be at risk of harming themselves - very rarely anyone else and that depends on medication etc.