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Bigmike1583

Wanting to stop hurting
Jan 15, 2020
18
So I posted before I was going to try the nitrogen. And I did but my SI kicked in and I couldn't do it. I have also tried the oxys but threw up and was in and out of consciousness most of the night and all of next day. I just ordered SN and I will be getting the other stuff to go with it shortly. I lost my wife this past November 22 she got hit by a car as a pedestrian. It has been really hard since then. I have set another date July 9th that was our anniversary. I never knew loving someone and loosing them could hurt this bad. Yes I've lost mother, father, and all of my grandmother family. Non of them hurt this bad. All I can think about is seeing my sweet loves face again. It has been a hard road since then.
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
That's a lot of heartache. I hope you find the peace you desire.
 
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deadmalk

Member
Nov 25, 2019
51
I'm sorry to hear that you lost your wife. I lost my youngest son, who was 12, nine months ago yesterday and I feel the same way. There isn't a day that I don't think about dying because I feel so empty inside. I'm not the person I used to be. I used to joke around, play games and I lose interest in everything now and life seems to be so meaningless. I go to a few support groups and most of them have lost spouses so I only know what they say, but a loss is a loss and it hurts so much. I'm here for you if you ever need to vent or just talk.
 
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Bigmike1583

Wanting to stop hurting
Jan 15, 2020
18
That's a lot of heartache. I hope you find the peace you desire.
Thank you will once everything is said and done. I have to pay for my cremation and all of that good jazz before I go.
I'm sorry to hear that you lost your wife. I lost my youngest son, who was 12, nine months ago yesterday and I feel the same way. There isn't a day that I don't think about dying because I feel so empty inside. I'm not the person I used to be. I used to joke around, play games and I lose interest in everything now and life seems to be so meaningless. I go to a few support groups and most of them have lost spouses so I only know what they say, but a loss is a loss and it hurts so much. I'm here for you if you ever need to vent or just talk.
Thank you so much I really appreciate it.
 
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Thereisnothing

Thereisnothing

Enlightened
Jan 4, 2020
1,604
I am here because I am grieving, lost the last person who loved and cared about me in December. I have hideous health problems and have had very hard life, there is nothing now, just wish to find peace and see loved ones again. The pain is indescribable losing loved ones, add that to a body which is slowly killing me and a past which been so taxing........this is just existing. Sorry to take over your post, not intention, just wished for you to know I can truly empathize with the pain and loss you are in, hard isn't the word.......absolute hell. Thinking of you xx:heart:
 
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