Venting Just some words

[Hannah05]

First post, just crying. Hello everyone.

Everyone knows school is just like hell. Everyone fakes their own personality and they think they are better than the others. Even the teachers, right?

Today at school I got bullied again.

I was on the toilet, minding my own business. Then this one girl stepped in and pulled my skirt up and blamed me in front of her clique. She said terrible things and made fun of me for having poor utilities with me at school, for being so nerdy, for having knowledge of a lot of diverse things such as math, languages etc.

When people tell me bad things in school it stays in my head for a long time. I always think of it "Why did they call me like this?" ; "Why don't they like me back?" ; "Why do I have no friends?" I wish I could feel like I vanish in pieces.

I've always envied her for her clique, her social skills, being able to spend money without thinking of having no money at the end of the day.
I am poor, just a poor girl having barely money to spend and enjoy her life.

My suicidal thoughts are killing me. I suffer from those voices in my head, constantly telling me to die. I'll worthless, nobody likes me. My parents, my family, nobody. I have no friends to talk to. Always lonely. Eating lonely, being lonely, walking lonely. I'm gods loneliest woman.

I just wish that my soul finally finds peace. It's the soul that I live in, not the body.
it's the body that is controlled by my mind.

The soul is the soul, the soul is the one getting hurt by words. Pain doesn't exist for the soul, pain is just something the physical body feels. Mental pain goes deep into your heart and the heart is not attached to the soul.

Finally getting home, eventually heaven for the believers, other places, as an animal or a new human who wishes. Back to the place where the soul feels the most warmth is the place we all need.

Everywhere at the end of the time, it's just a burning memory. Thanks for listening.

 

[Blue Elephant]

school is just like hell

It is! It is a place of slow and careful indoctrination, a place where they train you to be what they want you to be and you are struggling. If they would teach you usefull things, it would be natural and you wouldn't struggle.

The others are not faking it, it's what the system teaches them to be, and they are like that because they are lost, because they are too dumb to understand and fight it, or even resist it.

Today at school I got bullied again.

What a surprize! Right? .. I know how it feels, I'm sorry about that.

"Why did they call me like this?" ; "Why don't they like me back?" ; "Why do I have no friends?"

Because they don't like you, because you are different, because you're better, because you're smarter, because you understand, because you might become a threat and it scares them.

I've always envied her for her clique, her social skills, being able to spend money without thinking of having no money at the end of the day.

There is no reason to envy stupidity! Move on! You should friend-up with smart and intelligent and good people, people who you can learn from so you can become better, always. Remember that the group that you are part of affects who you are so choose a good group. Think about what you like and find others like you!

I am poor, just a poor girl having barely money to spend and enjoy her life.

And this, IS A GOOD THING! You will learn to enjoy the simple things in life (yes there are many), you will learn to live smart, with very little, and appreciate every small thing, and not waste, you will learn to look beyond the material. You will learn to awareness. The soul doesn't need material, it feeds with love and caring.

nobody likes me. My parents, my family, nobody. I have no friends to talk to. Always lonely. Eating lonely, being lonely, walking lonely. I'm gods loneliest woman.

I hope this is a temporary thing. In the meantime, don't take this the wrong way but .. I like you.

It's the soul that I live in, not the body.

The soul is the soul, the soul is the one getting hurt by words. Pain doesn't exist for the soul, pain is just something the physical body feels. Mental pain goes deep into your heart and the heart is not attached to the soul.

You're getting it wrong here but .. this would be a long discussion. I'm going to be honest: There is no soul! There is a brain though, and the brain is affected by the body, and there are different types of pain ..

Finally getting home, eventually heaven for the believers, other places, as an animal or a new human who wishes. Back to the place where the soul feels the most warmth is the place we all need.

The place where you feel safe. I love this! : )