Venting "jUsT sMiLe"

[Sprite_Geist]

...I hate that phrase and anyones like it.

Most of the time I have a neutral expression on my face and some people don't seem to like it; I guess they are under the impression that I'm in a low-mood, and that annoys me. Why can't they leave me alone!

First of all: Just because someone isn't smiling that doesn't mean they are grumpy, depressed or miserable; everyone expresses happiness in different ways. Personally I like to express my own happiness through my actions, like trying to help others, not through my facial expressions. Most of the time I actually am happy, or at least content. The only time I really get angry is when randomers start bossing me about because I'm not wearing a face they like.

Second of all: Even if someone else is in a bad mood... Why does it matter? It doesn't affect you physically and it's not destroying your life. I've had people get offended because I've refused to smile when they tell me - like I'm a horrible person for not doing so. I've been told that I am being "negative" because they perceive me as being unhappy even when I'm not. I literally don't bother anyone; I try to keep out of other peoples way and don't hurt anyone, and yet I still get people going out of their way to make snarky remarks about me!

How am I being negative? Aren't you the one who is negative for judging me based on my facial expression, and insulting me behind my back for no reason? Aren't you the one who is "toxic" for trying to dictate how I should feel and behave, as if my brain isn't my own.

Isn't it ironic how the "positive vibes" and "just smile" crowds can get very aggressive towards anyone who they think is in a bad mood. That doesn't sound very... Positive? They label anyone in a low-mood as giving off "negative vibes", but surely isn't their own anger and hostility towards people who are in a bad mood a form of negativity in and of itself?

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Yep.. No matter what happens, everyone seems to say "just smile" or "be happy", while ignoring and negating everything that happened.

Those people are the worst and the most ignorant kind. If you cannot understand person with a problem then maybe don't say anything. Wrong words can do far more damage then just silence alone.

It's very rude to tell me how I should feel just because you don't feel the way I do. It's easy for you. It's not easy for me. But they will never even try to understand. They are too arrogant.

 

[glittergore]

Yeah, a lot of people that engage in this sort of thing aren't doing it out of genuine care, but because someone behaving in a way they interpret as negative makes them uncomfortable. They don't actually care about fostering genuine positivity, just about creating a comfortable external environment for them.

 

[Deleted member 19276]

I've heard that in the past so many times, specially by crappy teachers at my high school.
Like seriously, if they want me to smile so much... Maybe I should do a Trollface TM for them right before I off myself.
What a bunch of toxic do gooders!

 

[faust]

Well, when people tell you to smile, it means that they want some emotional feedback from you. They require some energy from you.
Many people do not want to communicate with those who never smile not because they don't smile but because they can't get from you what they want.
They are fed with others' energy and when they don't get it, it seems odd to them. Just like when you are spoiling a child and they come for more.

 

[TowerUpright]

I'll throw out that there are some of us that are easily influenced by someone in a bad mood. Even just being in the same room with them will put me in a bad mood.

That being said, if you're "sensing" someone is in a bad mood and it is impacting you, that's kinda on you. It's one thing when a co-worker shouts out loud at his computer or phone, throws stuff on the floor, and puts everyone on edge. But just thinking someone is in a bad mood shouldn't affect you.

But those "Fake it until you make it" people drive me up a wall.

 

[TAW122]

Preach! I hate this statement too, and in fact, when people say it, it makes me even more bitter and angry. I agree with the other responses on here too, it's just for others' comfort and benefits, a social convention even.

 

[Deathwithdignity]

I'll throw out that there are some of us that are easily influenced by someone in a bad mood. Even just being in the same room with them will put me in a bad mood.

That being said, if you're "sensing" someone is in a bad mood and it is impacting you, that's kinda on you. It's one thing when a co-worker shouts out loud at his computer or phone, throws stuff on the floor, and puts everyone on edge. But just thinking someone is in a bad mood shouldn't affect you.

But those "Fake it until you make it" people drive me up a wall.

Unless that person in a "bad mood" decides that threatening your life is an appropriate means of expression. Took me awhile to get over that one.

 

[Broken Chimera]

I have RBF (Resting Bitch Face) I hate it but what can I do. I'm not going to force a smile just to please someone I don't know. If they want a smile, I tell them to go find a chimp at the zoo. It's none of their business why you aren't smiling and if it's a problem they should leave you alone, what they should've done in the first place.

 

[Azzy69]

Fuck yes.
Whenever I have to be in a picture my mother is always like "at least pretend you're happy"
And people say stuff like "your allowed to smile ya know"

 

[ItsAllTooLate]

Funny enough this happened directly after a suicide attempt of mine. I tried to get hit by a train and it stopped before it was able to run into me, and I got pulled off the tracks. Some guy that witnessed it was literally trying to tell me shit like "just be happy". In those exact words. Like, yeah, that's totally gonna cure me... not that I expect him to, but seriously, you see someone make a serious attempt on their own life and those are your words of advice?

 

[Bct]

Can't agree more with you. As someone with Resting Bitch Face (RBF), it's really annoying when people assume I'm in a bad mood just because my flat face looks bad to them. Trying to make my face looks flat to them is exhausting in a long time because I have to be conscious about it.

 

[TheSoulless]

"GoOd ViBeS oNlY" ughhh fucking shit.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

I hate this more than I hate the "well others have it way worse than you" people. Like are you reading my mind? How the hell do you know how I or others feel? Ugh it's horrible. I wish I could switch minds for like a day, then they'd know (I think).

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Cheer up, it might never happen!

 

[TowerUpright]

I have RBF (Resting Bitch Face) I hate it but what can I do. I'm not going to force a smile just to please someone I don't know. If they want a smile, I tell them to go find a chimp at the zoo. It's none of their business why you aren't smiling and if it's a problem they should leave you alone, what they should've done in the first place.

Asking some to smile is awfully close to a guy telling a woman, "You'd be much prettier if you smile." And that's just plain sexist. And, IMHO there is nothing at all wrong with RBF. I prefer to be around people who don't act fake.

I'd only ask someone (man or woman) to smile and I just told an awful joke. A really bad one that people groan at. And that's for my miniscule self-esteem. Lol.