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Stargazing
- Oct 3, 2023
- 3
I'm already in college; I'm in my first year, and I'm studying nursing. Funny, isn't it? Lol. I'm a nursing student, but I'm suicidal. And becoming a nursing student made me more suicidal, thinking I wouldn't pass my lessons. If I don't pass this semester, I will probably get labeled as a failure and stupid. Even my own sister wishes that I would fail my lessons and classes. My social anxiety gets worse, and I get more anxious about myself. I feel like my classmates and my co-departments are making fun of me. Earlier, we had an online class, and it was our reporting about blood. My group members explained their parts clearly, and when it was my turn, I got scared. My voice kept shaking while speaking, and I don't think I explained my part properly. But I'm actually glad that our report was on Google Meet, because if it were in person, it would get worse. After our report, our instructor asked us reporters about something (I forgot what it was about). I couldn't answer it because my mind was blank, and all I knew was that I wanted to end the online class. About me not being able to answer the question was so embarrassing. I bet my classmates are all making fun of me now; they will probably think that I'm dumb. I bet they will probably ignore me this semester. I'm thinking of shifting, but I don't know what course I should take. I do enjoy being a nursing student, but I just hate how my classmates act towards me. For some reason, I feel like they're judging me. I can't drop out; I don't want to disappoint my mom.
