Just orded SN and everything just got real

[Kta1994]

I cant believe im actually doing this, everything that i know is going to be over.
Very mixed feelings, i do want to ctb because of my chronic pain and health issues but my mom keeps me alive because the love she has for me but it just inst enough anymore, im suffering too much, nobody should be able to live a miserable life like mine with no hope on sight. My mom and sister will be so crushed tho, how can i cope with this guilt?

Edit: Im from Brazil, pla dont message me about it, in my country its easy

 

[nobody11]

Every 30 sec there is somone die by suicide in the world you are not alone bro

 

[dinosavr]

First of all, take your time. Ordering SN doesn't mean you have to do anything yet.
With time maybe you'll be able to accept the fact that one day each person on this planet will have to go. And either your family or you will be crushed with the other ones' death. Unless you all die at once but it's highly doubtful.
I myself still hesitate for the very same reason, but we shouldn't feel guilty. You didn't ask for suicidal ideation just like people didn't ask for cancer or heart attack.
It's not your fault you want to die!!! The more that you'll die anyway.

 

[rozeske]

we shouldn't feel guilty. You didn't ask for suicidal ideation just like people didn't ask for cancer or heart attack.
It's not your fault you want to die!!!

I agree with this plus try to be calm and take your time and think through what you want and what is best for you. You have plenty of time to make a decision. Ordering it or even receiving it should not corner you in to ctb. SN can stay with you for a long time as long as it is sealed properly, If you decide to take it, you can take it whenever you want. And if you decide not to you can just bin it.

 

[Abyssal]

That's how I felt. It's intense but it fades.

 

[mortuarymary]

Remember take time and follow the regime to the letter.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I cant believe im actually doing this, everything that i know is going to be over.
Very mixed feelings, i do want to ctb because of my chronic pain and health issues but my mom keeps me alive because the love she has for me but it just inst enough anymore, im suffering too much, nobody should be able to live a miserable life like mine with no hope on sight. My mom and sister will be so crushed tho, how can i cope with this guilt?

I felt the same when I ordered my SN back in August. I also want to CTB due to physical health: I have a problem with my breathing. I also have a good relationship with family. Have you tried discussing your CTB with them? Mine have been remarkably good about it. My mum knows about my SN but hasn't taken it away as she says it's my choice. Discussing it with them might help to assuage your guilt.

 

[Kta1994]

Every 30 sec there is somone die by suicide in the world you are not alone bro

Doesnt change the fact that everyone of those matters amd deserved love and being happy and healthy

 

[nobody11]

Doesnt change the fact that everyone of those matters amd deserved love and being happy and healthy

We all happy here yeah sure fool yourself

 

[UltraRareSlinky]

take your time, try to make peace with it, write a letter so you can give closure to your family

 

[Kta1994]

I agree with this plus try to be calm and take your time and think through what you want and what is best for you. You have plenty of time to make a decision. Ordering it or even receiving it should not corner you in to ctb. SN can stay with you for a long time as long as it is sealed properly, If you decide to take it, you can take it whenever you want. And if you decide not to you can just bin it.

Up to three years right?

 

[ctbcat]

Suicides can change a person intensely, not only for bad but for good too - parents who advocate in the image of their own suicide-taken child, etc. I try to think about it in an essence of that sort, even if it's not what happens in most cases. A lot of bad is going to come out of what I will do, but some good might as well, once all the hard feelings are processed through

 

[rozeske]

Up to three years right?

3 and 5 years is what I've seen around, I will let others give you an accurate answer.

 

[nobody11]

Up to three years right?

You cant play your game on me

 

[eLdus]

I felt the same when I ordered my SN back in August. I also want to CTB due to physical health: I have a problem with my breathing. I also have a good relationship with family. Have you tried discussing your CTB with them? Mine have been remarkably good about it. My mum knows about my SN but hasn't taken it away as she says it's my choice. Discussing it with them might help to assuage your guilt.

Very similar to my situation. The SN is a last resort for when things get really bad, but it's a comfort to have it there as a choice.