heirofvoid
Member
- Dec 20, 2021
- 71
I'm having a really bad week..ok more like it's been a month now. I didn't do too well in some exams, I still got a high score but personally it felt like I was lucky. Now there's just so much deadlines and I don't know how to juggle them. Coupled with groupmates who push all the work to me and professors who can't provide instructions clearly, I'm doing shit. I had to do reports with 0 preparations because we were told it was already done last Monday since the professor read it out loud and ONLY asked me about the presentation. He mentioned what was wrong and told us not to change anything anymore, when we had a class again today with him he made us report it AGAIN. Then he told us again how we were wrong and even asked us what grade should we receive. Isn't that his fucking job? To grade us? Why the need to ask that question to US? To humiliate us? It's so fucking annoying and I'm so stressed about this. I keep telling myself to just brush this off because I was never good at reporting anyway but it eats at me for doing shit. I have bad social anxiety and no matter how many times I speak in front of people it just doesn't get better.
I hate that I didn't plan anything after I quit my job. To be honest, I wanted to rest for a month but when my family found out about my resignation they rushed me to enroll. It's literally the week where all schools are nearing the end of enrollment period. I didn't get a fucking break! I didn't get to think through about anything especially the course I fucking want to take since my family is pressuring me to get back in college again. I really hate school so fucking much but I have to graduate so I can get a diploma and get better jobs. It sucks to live here in the Philippines. I'm so upset with myself and just EVERYTHING! I'm forever cursing my parents who made me and couldn't even take care of me. I know my mom doesn't even want to have kids, she isn't bad but I can kinda tell she didn't sign up for this. My father on the other hand deserves to be in a Saw trap. He really sent a friend request in Facebook like what the fuck are you even going to do? You didn't help us. I hope when I see you I can lash out on you and make you suffer.
I can't even end it. It's just not possible to do because I'm so busy with school and if I'm not I'm using that time to rest. I want to be gone before I turn 24 next month, I really do. I'm not fit to be like everyone else. I accept that I'm a weakling who's too fucking sensitive for everything so just take me. I don't really get why I'm here I don't serve any purpose in this world. I'm literally a waste of space.
I hate that I didn't plan anything after I quit my job. To be honest, I wanted to rest for a month but when my family found out about my resignation they rushed me to enroll. It's literally the week where all schools are nearing the end of enrollment period. I didn't get a fucking break! I didn't get to think through about anything especially the course I fucking want to take since my family is pressuring me to get back in college again. I really hate school so fucking much but I have to graduate so I can get a diploma and get better jobs. It sucks to live here in the Philippines. I'm so upset with myself and just EVERYTHING! I'm forever cursing my parents who made me and couldn't even take care of me. I know my mom doesn't even want to have kids, she isn't bad but I can kinda tell she didn't sign up for this. My father on the other hand deserves to be in a Saw trap. He really sent a friend request in Facebook like what the fuck are you even going to do? You didn't help us. I hope when I see you I can lash out on you and make you suffer.
I can't even end it. It's just not possible to do because I'm so busy with school and if I'm not I'm using that time to rest. I want to be gone before I turn 24 next month, I really do. I'm not fit to be like everyone else. I accept that I'm a weakling who's too fucking sensitive for everything so just take me. I don't really get why I'm here I don't serve any purpose in this world. I'm literally a waste of space.
