Venting Just measured and poured some SN into a bottle. Just one though and it was scary

[ultrasharpy123456]

I measured it and it was about a little over 25 grams. It was a pretty scary experience when I thought I had like 1 or two SN crystals on my hand and I remembered SN isn't supposed to come in contact with your skin. I was gonna pour more but that experience plus the fact I was scared one of my family members was gonna get up and see me doing that terrified me so I just stopped at one glass. I didn't drink it or smell it though.

It's been over 20 mins and I still feel fine so I don't think I need to call the hospital or anything.

So yeah and also if anyone is wondering the SN from IC mixes smoothly into water, bottled water. You'll just see some crystal residue floating on the surface. The plan was that I was gonna go outside and drink the SN to kill myself but the process of dying from SN scares me so I don't know if I will, also I don't really have a place to do it except outside (and potentially a nearby "forest").

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It may not be jumping it but it definitely requires a lot of psychological preparation. In some way, even more.

 

[flakeyknight]

I feel the same way about SN. One of the reason's I have refused to test so far is because I am afriad of leaving traces of poison out of unintended carelessness. The first time I opened it to do a blood test I had on a mask, goggles and glasses.

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

I measured it and it was about a little over 25 grams. It was a pretty scary experience when I thought I had like 1 or two SN crystals on my hand and I remembered SN isn't supposed to come in contact with your skin. I was gonna pour more but that experience plus the fact I was scared one of my family members was gonna get up and see me doing that terrified me so I just stopped at one glass. I didn't drink it or smell it though.

It's been over 20 mins and I still feel fine so I don't think I need to call the hospital or anything.

So yeah and also if anyone is wondering the SN from IC mixes smoothly into water, bottled water. You'll just see some crystal residue floating on the surface. The plan was that I was gonna go outside and drink the SN to kill myself but the process of dying from SN scares me so I don't know if I will, also I don't really have a place to do it except outside (and potentially a nearby "forest").

I have si too. I keep telling myself "one more day" I've been doing that since the summer

 

[IWishToDie]

I have si too. I keep telling myself "one more day" I've been doing that since the summer

I feel in the end, even if you are ready and have overcome SI, it must be an impulsive decision to grab the final drink and finish it. I can imagine just staring at the solution for some time before taking it, but you just have to zone out somehow and not think about it. No deep breathing or mantras, just pour and finish. Get comfortable and meditate until you fall asleep. It sounds scary, but it's better than a long painful death when you're old and people are trying to keep you alive when you can't even enjoy anything anymore. Best wishes to you all.

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

I feel in the end, even if you are ready and have overcome SI, it must be an impulsive decision to grab the final drink and finish it. I can imagine just staring at the solution for some time before taking it, but you just have to zone out somehow and not think about it. No deep breathing or mantras, just pour and finish. Get comfortable and meditate until you fall asleep. It sounds scary, but it's better than a long painful death when you're old and people are trying to keep you alive when you can't even enjoy anything anymore. Best wishes to you all.

I know you are right. It's just having the bottle to do it.

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Unlike many people on this site I want to live but can't because of this terminal illness

 

[new2blue]

I know you are right. It's just having the bottle to do it.

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Unlike many people on this site I want to live but can't because of this terminal illness

If I could, I'd take it on myself so you could go on. What better way to die than by saving a life. I am sorry circumstances have robbed you from a life you want. You deserve better <3

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

The ironic thong is I was depressed beforehand. There are many people on this site but how many will actually do it.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I can imagine just staring at the solution for some time before taking it, but you just have to zone out somehow and not think about it. No deep breathing or mantras, just pour and finish.

just about did this a month or so back. Poured out 21g of SN and just stared at it but didn't drink it even if I wanted to but couldn't since I ate breakfast earlier that day. Zoned out while I was pouring it all and just felt nothing the entire time, no fear or apprehension.