Just got beaten up by my mom for being a failure

[Sunghoon]

It just happened like an hour ago and my arm and head still kinda hurt and I'm crying like crazy right now. She took my phone and everything but I still have my old phone. I was feeding my cat and mom just bursted in and started hitting me like crazy and calling me a disbeliever (Bc I told her I didn't believe in God sometime ago) and she said I was a failure and that everyone she knew was going to college except me (I'm taking a gap year to resit my exams and to figure stuff out) and then she took everything and :( I'm not sure if posts like this are allowed and now I just feel this deep urge to just stab myself but I'm scared shitless. I wonder if my mom would finally say sorry if she found me dead in the morning but âI just can't get myself to do it yet. Last time I attempted I ended up in hospital and my mom was acting like I was the bad guy for putting her though this. I'm 18 but I'm broke af I'm poor and I just wanna know if there's any way I can try and make money fast? Should I make a go fund me? I really wanna move out and go at my own pace and I just feel so scared fuck I don't know what I'm doing I feel guilt and shame I lost all my friends after highschool I have no one at all I just have my parents but they're making it worse I wanna cry into someone's arms I want someone to tell me it's okay but :((((((

 

[remluvr]

I'm really sorry your mom did that to you :/ i'm not sure about the money thing but I hope you can find a way out and make some friends <3 you deserve better

 

[anopenwound]

Make a gofundme and spam it like hell on Twitter. At some point it will gain traction. Get the hell out of there kid. There's more to life than this.

 

[justpathetic]

I'm am so so sorry you're going through this. If you just need to talk that's fine. I don't know where you are but if you're in a western country that's illegal. Even though you're her child even though you live in her house. Either way I'd like to tell you you don't deserve to be beat. YOU do NOT deserve it. I will not defend your mother or what she did but maybe she's having issues to and is taking it out on you? That may be an explanation it's NEVER a defense.

 

[imnotsurewhy]

I m really sorry i m know i m just some stranger but here (virtual hug)

 

[MeltingBrain]

I am sorry you are going through this

 

[nir]

Idk where you live, but there are often shelters for people escaping abuse. You might be able to find free housing near you due to your circumstances. I'm so sorry she hurt you - you don't deserve that at all, period.

 

[pandorasactor]

I'm sorry that you had your mom physically and emotionally abused you. Also you had to endure religious trauma which is another type of distress.

My advise for you is to move out and contact local youth agencies.

Again, I'm sorry you had this happen to you. People around you should love you no matter what. I wish you well )

 

[wren-briar]

Idk where you live, but there are often shelters for people escaping abuse. You might be able to find free housing near you due to your circumstances. I'm so sorry she hurt you - you don't deserve that at all, period.

If you're in the States you might be able to find help - https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/domestic-violence-local-resources/ but hopefully this, at the very least, gives you an idea of what resources might be available and how you might find some in your area

 

[Myforevercharlie]

It just happened like an hour ago and my arm and head still kinda hurt and I'm crying like crazy right now. She took my phone and everything but I still have my old phone. I was feeding my cat and mom just bursted in and started hitting me like crazy and calling me a disbeliever (Bc I told her I didn't believe in God sometime ago) and she said I was a failure and that everyone she knew was going to college except me (I'm taking a gap year to resit my exams and to figure stuff out) and then she took everything and :( I'm not sure if posts like this are allowed and now I just feel this deep urge to just stab myself but I'm scared shitless. I wonder if my mom would finally say sorry if she found me dead in the morning but âI just can't get myself to do it yet. Last time I attempted I ended up in hospital and my mom was acting like I was the bad guy for putting her though this. I'm 18 but I'm broke af I'm poor and I just wanna know if there's any way I can try and make money fast? Should I make a go fund me? I really wanna move out and go at my own pace and I just feel so scared fuck I don't know what I'm doing I feel guilt and shame I lost all my friends after highschool I have no one at all I just have my parents but they're making it worse I wanna cry into someone's arms I want someone to tell me it's okay but :((((((

I'll send you a message