Venting just gave in to SH again after being free from it for a while.

[malware]

Last night I carved someone's name into my thigh and scratched my entire right arm, I was doing so well and now I feel completely hopeless.
I don't know if I can just keep writing poems or playing games to cope anymore, and there's no fucking way I'm going back to therapy. It just
makes me feel worse about everything.

 

[9thFloorAngel]

I'm sorry, friend. Relapsing is always so hard; just makes you feel like you're back to square one. I hope things get better for you. One day at a time.

 

[burningbin]

Last night I carved someone's name into my thigh and scratched my entire right arm, I was doing so well and now I feel completely hopeless.
I don't know if I can just keep writing poems or playing games to cope anymore, and there's no fucking way I'm going back to therapy. It just
makes me feel worse about everything.

are you doing it less than you were? then you're improving. Relapsing once doesnt mean hope is lost, its natural in recovering, keep going.

 

[Necrosis]

Progress is typically not linear. It's admirable to hear you had managed to stay clean for awhile. I'm sure you're feeling very hopeless but you've proved they you're capable of staying clean. I've learned it's like practice. You can do it again and hopefully after awhile you can do it again for even longer.

Also most hobbies are secretly just coping mechanisms. At least I think so for most people. When one thing isn't distracting anymore and you're burnt out, just try something new. Even if you find out it's boring, it will keep you preoccupied.

Sorry if this reply isn't what you were looking for, I understand this is a vent that is unrelated to recovery. Or maybe is just repetitive to hear. Just hoping to give some insight from similar experiences. If you ever want to reach out to a stranger, you're welcome to anytime. <3

 

[malware]

I'm sorry, friend. Relapsing is always so hard; just makes you feel like you're back to square one. I hope things get better for you. One day at a time.

Thank you so much, and same for you <3 stay safe

 

[suprswag]

I'm so sorry that this happened, I'm sure it sucks. I hope you're able to regain your strength and stay clean as long as you can.
Love and support for you. <3

 

[malware]

are you doing it less than you were? then you're improving. Relapsing once doesnt mean hope is lost, its natural in recovering, keep going.

A little bit less then before but the urges are stronger. but i appreciate this alot <3 best wishes

Progress is typically not linear. It's admirable to hear you had managed to stay clean for awhile. I'm sure you're feeling very hopeless but you've proved they you're capable of staying clean. I've learned it's like practice. You can do it again and hopefully after awhile you can do it again for even longer.

Also most hobbies are secretly just coping mechanisms. At least I think so for most people. When one thing isn't distracting anymore and you're burnt out, just try something new. Even if you find out it's boring, it will keep you preoccupied.

Sorry if this reply isn't what you were looking for, I understand this is a vent that is unrelated to recovery. Or maybe is just repetitive to hear. Just hoping to give some insight from similar experiences. If you ever want to reach out to a stranger, you're welcome to anytime. <3

Ahh to be honest, I never hear anything like this so it isn't repetitive at all. but thanks again <3 And same goes for you too

 

[twitchymouse]

relapsing isnt failure. you can still pick yourself up from here. keep going my friend.

 

[malware]

I'm so sorry that this happened, I'm sure it sucks. I hope you're able to regain your strength and stay clean as long as you can.
Love and support for you. <3

thank you so much <33 love and support for you all aswell

 

[ranaway]

sorry for what happened and best wishes for you! hope that everything will be alright and you can be able to overcome the pain.