Venting Just fucking venting honestly. It’s not even that bad this time. I just have no one to talk to anymore.

[gardenofaphrodite]

I know if I was able to afford my escitalopram again, I think I'd be doing a little better - & being able to talk to someone who can't tell anyone anything was nice too. I just can't afford it - & I don't think I'll ever be able to. $300 just for a month prescription of escitalopram, idek how much my sleep meds were & I don't wanna know. I still have two prescriptions left put away, but it'd be pointless as once that 2nd month worth is gone - I'd have to stop again.

I keep trying to find a reason, something, to keep me going - something to make me try. I can't. I really wanna keep trying, but life just keeps getting worse. I would be less upset if most of it was my mistakes - but a lot of it isn't. I just have really bad fucking luck I guess. Money, education, lack of opportunities & jobs, lack of resources in general.

All I think about is how well-off the people I know are. I'm happy for them but it makes me incredibly bitter. I'm also tired of my sister acting like she's better than me, being a snobby bitch & constantly indirectly bringing up my failures by talking about how she won't end up in certain situations - that I've been in. I don't want her to suffer the way I have, but deep down, I do - so that she stops being a little bitch, & understands. She's constantly talking about how much of an "empath" she is - when she doesn't act like it. She does not know what empathy is if she can't even understand what being in my shoes is like. It's frustrating. I feel she's becoming incredibly narcissistic like my step-dad (her bio).

Constantly bringing up how she "looks fat" when she wears a fucking size 0-2, skinny as fuck, & she knows she's pretty, & has stated that she knows she's pretty. I'm chubby, & she knows I'm insecure. She knows I have to deal with my mom's constant comments on my weight. I'm tired of her acting the way she does. She does this shit in front of me after I've told her repeatedly that it makes me feel like shit. It's like she doesn't care - but claims to be a fucking """"empath""""

I hate my family. I'm tired of being treated like shit, & belittled. I don't understand why it's so fucking hard for people to be kind. It's making me fucking bitter, & I don't want to be a bitter bitch - but I'm just so fucking over it.

 

[The anhedonic one]

My so-called family were extremely dysfunctional and toxic.
I had a narcissistic Mother and a Sister who is some kind of Sociopath.
I cut them out of my life long ago.
They are emotional vampires who feed off the suffering of others.
Have you heard of the " Grey Rock " technique ?.
It may help you to emotionally distance yourself from these horrid family members.

 

[gardenofaphrodite]

My so-called family were extremely dysfunctional and toxic.
Narcissistic Mother and a Sister who is some kind of Sociopath.
I cut them out of my life long ago.
They are emotional vampires who feed off the suffering of others.
Have you heard of the " Grey Rock " technique ?.
It may help you to emotionally distance yourself from these horrid family members.

I unfortunately am stuck living with my family atm, or I would have gladly cut them off by now. Believe me when I say, I hate my mother & I want to cut her out of my life so badly, if I'm able to leave permanently, I do plan on taking the legal-action of filing a permanent restraining order against her.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I unfortunately am stuck living with my family atm, or I would have gladly cut them off by now. Believe me when I say, I hate my mother & I want to cut her out of my life so badly, if I'm able to leave permanently, I do plan on taking the legal-action of filing a permanent restraining order against her.

I was stuck at home until I was 23 years old. My mental health issues made it impossible to work and look after myself.
I completely understand that deep, intense hatred that you are feeling. Somedays I would actually think of killing my Mother because She was a sadistic, malignant Narcissist.
I hope with all my heart that you manage to get away from these monsters in the near future, and that your legal action is successful.

 

[Rack.-]

Sorry you are feeling this way... Sending you love and hugs

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it awful how existing can easily get worse and how other people just create more suffering. It's such a dreadful world we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own but anyway I wish you the best.