just failed to hang myself

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

wow this needs more willpower then i thought. i wasnt even close. its one thing to fantasies about stuff its another thing to get really through with it. my life is more shit than ever. i really need nembutal because thats the only method where i can imagine myself going through with it.

at least the hotel room is nice

 

[elsilbon]

Did you try full or partial suspension? What exactly went wrong?

 

[Qverty7455]

I failed hanging before aswell, then tried to tie hangman knot and jump outside, but never actually did even when I was 1 step away...it takes so much courage and the pain is terrible I would rather slit my throat...

 

[WatermelonMel]

wow this needs more willpower then i thought. i wasnt even close

I failed hanging before aswell

How did you guys fail, what happened?

 

[Qverty7455]

first try was my first ever suicide attempt...it was very impulsive. I said I don't wanna live and the next hour I was trying to hang myself at home from the bunk via rope..I stepped on chair and kicked it out but there was a couch nearby so I was able to climb on it at the last moment...because it was very painful, self-preservation instinct and I was scared...then i moved the sofa away and tried again but the rope was too long and I touched ground with my feets so I said fk it...then I was trying to jump outside via hangman knot and break my neck but never got the courage to do it and I was scared I might fail somehow. I tried the partial method aswell but never knocked myself out so I will never try this method again.

 

[xxemzeynn]

Sorry to hear that. Have you tried addung paddings to the rope? I am planning to do full as well but I am afraid of the pain before I totally pass out.

 

[elsilbon]

I failed hanging before aswell, then tried to tie hangman knot and jump outside, but never actually did even when I was 1 step away...it takes so much courage and the pain is terrible I would rather slit my throat...

Yes it does take a lot of courage, I remember trying jumping off a building several years ago... I just couldn't do it, it takes cojones. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this.

I've been considering partial suspension for the past several months, I've been getting better at it, finding the right spot with a necktie to pass out without much pain, it takes practice, lots of it, first time I tried it it was painful, my adam's apple got in the way and I thought I just had to put up with it, but that isn't the case, take a look at the hanging mega thread for some pointers if you're interested.

Good luck.

 

[Blackjack]

wow this needs more willpower then i thought. i wasnt even close. its one thing to fantasies about stuff its another thing to get really through with it. my life is more shit than ever. i really need nembutal because thats the only method where i can imagine myself going through with it.

at least the hotel room is nice

I'm sorry. This method is so much harder than it sounds.

If you have the $ and are in the U.S., as of today, A is back online and orders are being shipped & received in record time.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

Did you try full or partial suspension? What exactly went wrong?

i moved out of my apartment.brought all my stuff to a self storage garage. wrote my suicide note. booked a hotel room. prepared everything. then put the rope around my neck. tried to lean in with my weight. it got a bit blury but i think i never really leaned in 100% because it was uncomfortable too. realised pretty quickly i lack the determination to go through with it (the closer i got to the process, the more "real" it got the more i could feel my motivation to actually ctb go down) thought fuck it. ate some gummy bears the hotel stuff put on the bed.

seems like losing to will to live is not enough. you really need the absolute will to die. fantasizing about suicidd is easy and can give us a weird form of comfort - actually commiting suicide is damn hard.

 

[Circles]

i moved out of my apartment.brought all my stuff to a self storage garage. wrote my suicide note. booked a hotel room. prepared everything. then put the rope around my neck. tried to lean in with my weight. it got a bit blury but i think i never really leaned in 100% because it was uncomfortable too. realised pretty quickly i lack the determination to go through with it (the closer i got to the process, the more "real" it got the more i could feel my motivation to actually ctb go down) thought fuck it. ate some gummy bears the hotel stuff put on the bed.

seems like losing to will to live is not enough. you really need the absolute will to die. fantasizing about suicidd is easy and can give us a weird form of comfort - actually commiting suicide is damn hard.

I completely understand, sorry it didn't work out as planned. I've learned that nothing ever goes according plans so it's best to keep that in mind. If I may ask, did you use only a rope? If nothing like the night-night method cause I can see how much harder it'd be to pass out. Did you try full suspension or partial? You need to put pressure on your sweet spots if you can find it and the padding via the N-N method would help, but I know it's easier said than done. One thing that's helped me while doing partial atleast is using a 3 step ladder and would lean backwards like if I was sitting down with my arms holding against the ladder and slowly going down each step until I felt numb. In any case, hope you can find time to rest after this.

 

[mybodymychoice]

I've had a failed attempt with hanging. The anchor point broke. Spent 2 days in ICU and 3 weeks in a psychiatric hospital. Still have the rope mark on the left side of my neck. I will be trying it again. It does work. See the thread i created for a method to avoid SI.
Really sorry you going through this. You are not alone.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

i moved out of my apartment.brought all my stuff to a self storage garage. wrote my suicide note. booked a hotel room. prepared everything. then put the rope around my neck. tried to lean in with my weight. it got a bit blury but i think i never really leaned in 100% because it was uncomfortable too. realised pretty quickly i lack the determination to go through with it (the closer i got to the process, the more "real" it got the more i could feel my motivation to actually ctb go down) thought fuck it. ate some gummy bears the hotel stuff put on the bed.

seems like losing to will to live is not enough. you really need the absolute will to die. fantasizing about suicidd is easy and can give us a weird form of comfort - actually commiting suicide is damn hard.

I can relate, it gets real at the end. The fantasy is more comforting than the reality.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

ah shit. time flies

 

[ARW3N]

More people experience suicide ideation than go through the act itself. The survival instinct keeps kicking in even with something as final and definite as hanging. I've seen this famous suicide documentary showing people jumping to their deaths from the Golden Gate Bridge. However, they don't look like they are jumping to their deaths. One guy did a backflip. A witness thought he was bungee jumping. Another person looked like he lost his foothold and accidentally fell into the water. What they are effectively doing is disarming or distracting their survival instincts in order to complete the act of suicide itself.

 

[SpottedPanda]

More people experience suicide ideation than go through the act itself. The survival instinct keeps kicking in even with something as final and definite as hanging. I've seen this famous suicide documentary showing people jumping to their deaths from the Golden Gate Bridge. However, they don't look like they are jumping to their deaths. One guy did a backflip. A witness thought he was bungee jumping. Another person looked like he lost his foothold and accidentally fell into the water. What they are effectively doing is disarming or distracting their survival instincts in order to complete the act of suicide itself.

This makes me wonder if I'll ever go through with it. What I do know is, if I can feel like I'm practising, and edge closer each time, I'll have a far greater chance of succeeding with fulfilling my desire.

 

[morningdew]

wow this needs more willpower then i thought. i wasnt even close. its one thing to fantasies about stuff its another thing to get really through with it. my life is more shit than ever. i really need nembutal because thats the only method where i can imagine myself going through with it.

at least the hotel room is nice

Well said. Letting go 100% is hard. Wanting to die and going through with it is further apart in reality.