Discussion Just curious, anyone else never sought therapy/counselling?

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I haven't. I may be able to interact with others on a normal level, but I enjoy solitude and prefer to keep to myself. Opening myself up and exposing my vulnerabilities to a complete stranger IRL feels extremely uncomfortable, and is something I want to avoid at all costs.

Mental health gets swept under the rug where I live and there's a strong stigma against mental illness here. It is generally understood that people with mental health problems have a lower chance of getting employed. If they want to, employers can easily access your medical records. I already have a chronic physical condition (lupus, SLE). Add a mental one and you can almost guarantee that you'll NEVER be hired.

 

[Fehler]

Someone from the forum recommended it to me but I ended up backing down, (at least I got to the door of the consultation ). The fact that if you open up too much they can lock you up doesn't please me. And like you, I find it very difficult to open up to someone new and more so if they are such personal things.

 

[Symbiote]

I've gone through the gauntlet of therapy and it's either a big waste of money or it does work and you're better again. Massively depends on who you get as a therapist because there are so many horrible ones that shouldn't be in the profession. Mental illness is a stigma especially for guys because society thinks we're all violent mass shooters or weak-minded sycophants. They either lock you up or tell you to man up.

There is a law in place that makes discrimination against mental illness a crime for any employer, but they can still fire you for other bullshit offenses. This is all in the USA btw.

 

[silvermoon]

I haven't. I may be able to interact with others on a normal level, but I enjoy solitude and prefer to keep to myself. Opening myself up and exposing my vulnerabilities to a complete stranger IRL feels extremely uncomfortable, and is something I want to avoid at all costs.

Mental health gets swept under the rug where I live and there's a strong stigma against mental illness here. It is generally understood that people with mental health problems have a lower chance of getting employed. If they want to, employers can easily access your medical records. I already have a chronic physical condition (lupus, SLE). Add a mental one and you can almost guarantee that you'll NEVER be hired.

I haven't consulted with anyone. It's really uncomfortable for me and most of the people don't take such things seriously. Only place I can actually talk about my feelings is ss. Its been 5 months since I haven't thought about CTB. But sometimes darkness takes over me and then I ask myself why I am still alive. It's funny. Nothing changed. SS is very good community for all of us. We can share our feelings here.

 

[botanormal]

I feel the same way. Opening up to a complete stranger (in person) sounds like the most uncomfortable experience, especially considering you have to watch what you say, like @Fehler said. Although mental health is considered to be more accepted in my area, people still hold strong judgments against others when they express their issues. I overhear my co-workers making jokes about 'crazy' people all the time, and I consider them to be pretty accepting and nice usually. If even the people who are usually so nice, are still that harsh about mental health issues, I imagine the average person is probably a lot worse. There's still a lot of stigma around the entire subject, and even if I wasn't too uncomfortable for personal reasons, the judgments I'd get from others if I ever sought therapy, would definitely put me off going.

 

[Ron G]

Been through many sessions over many years. Always found it helpful but found that I needed weekly treatment over a fairly long-term period.

 

[shadowchaser]

Yep. Before going I also found it unimaginable to share everything with a complete stranger (and still do), but I've found that therapy does help as much as you let it / are willing to have it help, and that in the end it's futile to feel the embarrassment I do feel; (contrary to what I was expecting) it's not like the world ended or anything when I shared a little :)

 

[Intotheflames]

Never. Back then I hated the idea of sharing my struggles to a completely stranger who only listened because of money. Think about it they don't care about you, they only care about money or they would've listened for free. Then I was desperate and wanted to try one but my mom stopped me and warned me all the stigmas that associated with mental illness, and how therapy was like addiction, they both take a lot amount of money for whatever small comfort offered.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Think about it they don't care about you, they only care about money or they would've listened for free. Then I was desperate and wanted to try one but my mom stopped me and warned me all the stigmas that associated with mental illness, and how therapy was like addiction, they both take a lot amount of money for whatever small comfort offered.

Therapy is often touted as a cure-all to mental health problems. Phrases like 'you need help' get thrown about all the time by those who have never been in our shoes, and I can't help but cringe. We often forget that therapists are also doctors on a payroll, and like any other human being, are subject to the same character flaws.

 

[HowNowBrownCow]

I don't see the value in therapy for someone like me, who's not traumatized or mentally ill but simply doesn't want to live. It'll just be paying someone to brainwash me into being a polyanna

 

[IWantToSleep]

I wouldn't mind going, it's just that with the free therapy here the appointments are infrequent and you don't really get to develop a rapport with the therapist.

 

[LastFlowers]

I wish I could say I hadn't, though the "seeking out" of such was never my idea. I always knew it would be a bad decision in my case and that is exactly what it turned out being. Every time. It's bizarre to me that people push it as some be all : end all solution or route. It actually severely damages some people and can make things worse no matter what psych doc you go to or what type of brain washing/thought altering techniques they attempt on you.

 

[Sakura94]

What the booking list after covid gonna look like?

 

[LastFlowers]

Yep. Before going I also found it unimaginable to share everything with a complete stranger (and still do), but I've found that therapy does help as much as you let it / are willing to have it help, and that in the end it's futile to feel the embarrassment I do feel; (contrary to what I was expecting) it's not like the world ended or anything when I shared a little :)

I don't think it's right to blame the patient for a "treatment" not working, they always try to put it into people's heads that the only reason they aren't being helped is because they don't want it or aren't working hard enough. They never question their own field, their methods or the fact that maybe therapy just doesn't fix everything. They choose to blame the victim who likely has no control over the circumstances making them miserable or all else. I think it's a dangerous sentiment to spread and simply untrue.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I wouldn't mind going, it's just that with the free therapy here the appointments are infrequent and you don't really get to develop a rapport with the therapist.

Wow. FREE.

Just curious, where do you live? Also, under what circumstances do you get it for free?

What the booking list after covid gonna look like?

"IT'S OVER 9000!!!!"

 

[shadowchaser]

I don't think it's right to blame the patient for a "treatment" not working, they always try to put it into people's heads that the only reason they aren't being helped is because they don't want it or aren't working hard enough. They never question their own field, their methods or the fact that maybe therapy just doesn't fix everything. They choose to blame the victim who likely has no control over the circumstances making them miserable or all else. I think it's a dangerous sentiment to spread and simply untrue.

Definitely agree. It's completely not black and white; there exist responsibilities in both patient and therapist and it's both unreasonable and counterproductive to put too much blame on any one. There are a myriad of factors to why therapy works or doesn't, and thinking in extremes is quite unhelpful to all involved.

 

[IWantToSleep]

Wow. FREE.

Just curious, where do you live? Also, under what circumstances do you get it for free?

"IT'S OVER 9000!!!!"

I'm not 100% but I think it's pretty standard to have free healthcare in Europe atleast if you earn under a certain amount of money, which includes mental health stuff.

 

[muffin222]

I'm currently in therapy. Personally, I've found it extremely helpful and have gained a lot of insight and new coping strategies beyond suicidal ideation through talking with my therapist. There are undoubtedly some awful therapists out there; I've experienced great benefits from therapy, though. It depends on the therapist.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

The only reason I am getting therapy is because I'm in a program that allows me to get 48 weeks of free psychotherapy and psychiatrist appointments. It's been very helpful, and my improvement has been gradual.

I'm at a stage where I think about suicide every few days rather than everyday, and the urge to do so is much lower. I'm still learning strategies to cope with different issues I have.

I'm not sure what I'll do when I'm out of free sessions. I certainly won't be able to afford therapy.

 

[Weary Soul]

Been through many sessions over many years. Always found it helpful but found that I needed weekly treatment over a fairly long-term period.

I did this as well when I was in my late teens. Not because I thought I needed it at the time (even though I very likely did), but because my parents wanted to change me to fit into their view of who I should be.

I was lucky enough to have found a good therapist who used NLP (neuro linguistic programming) to help me.

I went there weekly for years.

It did help, but the effects did not last.

It took a very long time to trust him - not surprising since I learned at a very young age not to trust adults.

Now, many years later, I do not see the benefit to therapy unless one can find someone who is exceptional.

I used to participate on a support forum run by a Harvard-trained psychologist, and his thoughts on therapy after many, many years in practice was that traumatized people need support (aka therapy) for many years - not necessarily because they are "significantly damaged," but because they need to learn the feeling of unconditional love and support that they should have gotten from their caretakers . (Note, this applies to those who have been abused from a very young age by their parents/gaudians and by no means applies to all).

Course, he could have promoted this view in order to receive a steady high-paying income from traumatized people over many years <- my cynicism/lack of trust once again showing itself.

<3

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I don't think it's right to blame the patient for a "treatment" not working, they always try to put it into people's heads that the only reason they aren't being helped is because they don't want it or aren't working hard enough. They never question their own field, their methods or the fact that maybe therapy just doesn't fix everything. They choose to blame the victim who likely has no control over the circumstances making them miserable or all else. I think it's a dangerous sentiment to spread and simply untrue.

Most of psychiatry and society take the lazy and irresponsible approach of blaming the individual because it's easier that way. Why bother helping someone in a meaningful way like treating them like a human being or providing them with housing and a income when you can just call them crazy and imprison them instead?

This forum members quote sums this up quite well:

I used to think that suicide prevention was just another case of good intentions gone too far. That people really did care about those that wanted to die. That they did in fact want what was best for us and simply didn't understand that in some cases, they were doing nothing but prolonging a miserable existence.

And yeah, people are sympathetic, to an extent, to those who are suicidal. Nobody likes seeing someone in so much pain that they would rather die than keep living, but what are they actually willing to do to care for the people in such misery? Not much.

That's why suicide prohibitions and the current paradigm of mental healthcare in general are so convenient for everyone else. Despite claiming to follow the biopsychosocial model of mental health, clinical psychiatry/psychology pretty much leaves the -social part unaddressed and almost unacknowledged. Everyone is perfectly content to pretend that all issues of mental health are a matter of pathology. "Oh it's no problem that you can barely afford to pay your bills. That you've been isolated and ostracized, if not outright abused, for most of your life. There's just a problem with your brain chemistry, here's some pills. Go to some therapy because you clearly need to learn better coping skills."

The nice thing about painting our problems as individual defects or deficiencies, is that the onus is now completely on us to make our lives more livable. If they accepted that people are often driven to suicide by external pressures, that some people actually can't make it on their own, then they would have to make more tangible efforts to support those who are in need. Or they would have to admit that their honest attitude is, "Yeah we'd love for you to be living a satisfying life, but if enabling you to do so requires anything from us, well then fuck off."

Refusing to allow people to freely kill themselves allows the rest of society to feel like they're supporting suicidal people without having to assume any of the burden of those lives. And they know it isn't going to be enough for everyone. That is made abundantly clear by the thousands of people who kill themselves every year despite how difficult they've made it to commit suicide. But when those people inevitably fall through the cracks, everyone will just pat themselves on the back and tell themselves, "We did everything we could to keep them from dying." Yeah, but you did fuck all to give any of us a life worth living. [quote/]

I've been trapped in my circumstances my entire life and if I was able to do better than I have then I would've already done it. Having a listening ear and being given forms of "help" like deep breathing doesn't help me deal with poverty, my trauma, health issues, and any number of other debilitating things. Most of psychiatry and society expects you to help yourself, even if you can't and then they're "surprised" when someone commits suicide.

 

[johntee2]

I haven't. I may be able to interact with others on a normal level, but I enjoy solitude and prefer to keep to myself. Opening myself up and exposing my vulnerabilities to a complete stranger IRL feels extremely uncomfortable, and is something I want to avoid at all costs.

Mental health gets swept under the rug where I live and there's a strong stigma against mental illness here. It is generally understood that people with mental health problems have a lower chance of getting employed. If they want to, employers can easily access your medical records. I already have a chronic physical condition (lupus, SLE). Add a mental one and you can almost guarantee that you'll NEVER be hired.

I've had about 5 counsellors. it doesn't work for me. I'm a pragmatic, objective person. I've lost my health, I get no pleasure from life. A counsellor telling me to do a jigsaw to distract me doesn't help. It makes me 10 times worse.

 

[Kat!]

Was forced, I haven't, myself.

I have a few thousand dollars to spend on mental health bills when I want so, maybe I'll dope myself up.

 

[DivineMedicus]

No, and I never will. I will not endure whatever scummy practices enforced by the mental health institutions because they will never be able to convince me with their pro-life bullshit rhetoric. My decision to CTB is made sound of mind, and I do not wish to get "better".

 

[Deleted member 23885]

I did, but it didn't work.

 

[rs929]

Yes, CBT is very useful