makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,032
I'm really about there for getting my bus ticket. I just don't think I can take any more. I'm seriously considering forgetting about those two pounds of SN I bought, and reaching for my 45 cal derringer. I'm starting today feel like going right NOW! I want to shave, get cleaned up, walk out in front of my car, whip out the 45 and pop goes the weasel. I just cant continue to survive without my marine boyfriend, working a job I despise....and having my mooching, mentally ill retarded idiot sister and niece, lay around in bed all day. They have shit stacked up all over my living room, so you can't even find a place to sit and watch TV. Every square inch of my counter tops and dining room able are covered with their possessions. You can't even sit at my dr table. They don't work, they don't work in the yard, they do nothing in the way of house cleaning. My mentally ill half sister screams constantly about everything. (Just like her dad, my step dad when I was I kid). Her dad made my childhood terror filled and she is a screaming banshee just like him. She has fucked up my finances phenomenally, and ran off my combat hardened boyfriend,not once but twice. I had a severe medical issue last year, and stupidly put her name on my house in case I died. Now if I lay into her I could be evicted from my own house. I have no where to go and no one to help. Please don't any of you religious types tell me to pray. I have been praying for decades for God to either grant me money or death. Neither has yet occurred. Perhaps your God wants me to take action and stop asking him to do something, and just do it myself. If God is there I hope he will forgive me, but I can't continue to live with these mentally ill, lazy, family members who have the intelligence of profoundly retarded apes. Much love for all here, thank you all for allowing to be heard. I