![wtg](/data/avatars/l/58/58825.jpg?1699060746)
wtg
Member
- Apr 2, 2023
- 41
This probably sounds clichè but I just want to share my story. From the age of 15 until now, I have had suicidal thoughts. I don't have a single reason of why should I continue living. My parents even told me from time to time that It is better for me to die. Back in 2021, my method was starving to death. It was a really bad idea but now I could go without eating for 3 days before I pass out. After that, i tried to change my habit, I workout (did some calisthenic), i went out a lot alone (doesn't really help), and i tried new stuff (learnt a bit about coding, did boxing, etc). But after all that, nothing changes. I am still a loser. My parents hate me for doing boxing because they thought I'm gonna use it to punch them so I don't do it anymore even though I like it so much and consider doing tournament. I stop learning about coding because I am stuck and didn't understand basic things. I stopped working out when I helped my family business even though I learnt nothing from it. Also in the middle of all that, I had a crush on one girl in my school. She is like a role model to me. She is smart, caring and hard working. She was the reason I tried to be better. So one day, i confessed to her about my feeling and the next day, she said that she also felt the same way. I felt so happy that day. Even though months later, things didnt work out but I don't blame her for that. Actually i have predicted it but it still hurts somehow. I am the most boring person out there. I have nothing to be proud of, no hobby, no nothing. Now I am going into college not knowing what should I do. I could just go MIA because I'm in another country with no friends or family.