Bedrock48
Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
- Feb 1, 2021
- 540
Hey guys,
Been a long long while since I really posted anything to this site and I've avoided coming back. I got really addicted to this site because it was one of the few places I could truly be honest about how I was feeling. I ended up at my lowest in April and made plans to commit. Plans that I never thought I would back out from but looks like I did. At that point I joined an online mulitplayer game and the companionship pulled me back from the edge.
Through that game I also found a partner to love and cherish and honestly 90% of my suicidal ideation has vanished since then. The only thoughts I've had were along the lines of "I could do this" not "I want to do this" or "I am planning to do this". It was a close one boys but we made it out alive. In a weird twist I found out my current partner nearly put a bullet in their head before meeting me too which to me is a crazy show of how powerful the universe can be. It kept us both alive so we got to meet in this place and time.
I am happy. I am planning a life despite feeling like a dead man walking for the longest time. I can't say I'll never go to that headspace or that this relationship will last forever but I am thankful to be here for now. Thank you everyone for listening to me in my darkest moments and I hope some of the people I talked with are still kicking and maybe even in a better headspace too.
Love you guys, maybe we'll talk again maybe we won't
Been a long long while since I really posted anything to this site and I've avoided coming back. I got really addicted to this site because it was one of the few places I could truly be honest about how I was feeling. I ended up at my lowest in April and made plans to commit. Plans that I never thought I would back out from but looks like I did. At that point I joined an online mulitplayer game and the companionship pulled me back from the edge.
Through that game I also found a partner to love and cherish and honestly 90% of my suicidal ideation has vanished since then. The only thoughts I've had were along the lines of "I could do this" not "I want to do this" or "I am planning to do this". It was a close one boys but we made it out alive. In a weird twist I found out my current partner nearly put a bullet in their head before meeting me too which to me is a crazy show of how powerful the universe can be. It kept us both alive so we got to meet in this place and time.
I am happy. I am planning a life despite feeling like a dead man walking for the longest time. I can't say I'll never go to that headspace or that this relationship will last forever but I am thankful to be here for now. Thank you everyone for listening to me in my darkest moments and I hope some of the people I talked with are still kicking and maybe even in a better headspace too.
Love you guys, maybe we'll talk again maybe we won't
