Venting Just a day i dunno

[Livingvsdying25]

Wake up just feel abrasive like I have shit to say on my fucking mind. And I'm tired of not saying it or whatever tbh I dont care if ik a bitch today annoyed and people suck and I'm sick of it!!! I want to move but all this pressure and stupid hope is just annoying me.


Like cur the hope.myife was ruined a while ago holy fuck. Yeah it'll be"better" but you all have ruined the chance of me ever having that.


All I can hope for is some peace before i die.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

given this and your other post, looks like you are really struggling at the moment, I don't know your story, do you have any support at all around you?

 

[Livingvsdying25]

given this and your other post, looks like you are really struggling at the moment, I don't know your story, do you have any support at all around you?

I dont feel like I'm struggling or whatever tbh it's just my life. It's nothing extra. I do have supports..

Tbh it's not at you or your fault.... but I hate it when people ask if I have support around me bc they really dont help at all.

I just stay with em bc I dont want to be alone completely & just in case for things. (I mean like professional support)

 

[Ghost2211]

I feel you. Support isnt always gong to help. We are here for you, and we will be by your side down whichever road you choose

 

[Livingvsdying25]

I feel you. Support isnt always gong to help. We are here for you, and we will be by your side down whichever road you choose

Thank you so much

(I'm sorry if I'm sounding really abrasive and rude. It's not towards any of you I'm just so frustrated with things and finally communicating a bit.)
(That doesnt excuse doing it to random people so plz call me out if necessary)

 

[Jean4]

Vent here. We are good listeners. :)

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I dont feel like I'm struggling or whatever tbh it's just my life. It's nothing extra. I do have supports..

Tbh it's not at you or your fault.... but I hate it when people ask if I have support around me bc they really dont help at all.

I just stay with em bc I dont want to be alone completely & just in case for things. (I mean like professional support)

Yea I agree what I said sucks, I mean just knowing people are around so you don't feel as alone, its hard to explani what I mean, sorry no offence meant

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Yea I agree what I said sucks, I mean just knowing people are around so you don't feel as alone, its hard to explani what I mean, sorry no offence meant

No no dont worry or apologize. I was just saying for me it kinda yeah kno?

It's not ur fault I just have bad memories and experiences.

Asking people if they have a support system is like one of the first steps or whatever ya call it.

I appreciate the effort to respond and the kind words / support ☺

 

[Ghost2211]

Thank you so much

(I'm sorry if I'm sounding really abrasive and rude. It's not towards any of you I'm just so frustrated with things and finally communicating a bit.)
(That doesnt excuse doing it to random people so plz call me out if necessary)

anger and frustration are part the process. This is a safe place for you to vent and people that are really there for you are there for the sadness and the anger, and the ups and downs. True support is love and acceptance Without conditions and judgment

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Ackk my friend does this thing with replying to texts and I'm not perfect but it's so annoying!!!!

She was suppose to come in the morning and it's the afternoon and I have feeling she's just not gonna come so maybe that's where the frustration comes from ...

& I freaked out in a way with her I regret but I did kinda make myself clear so

Lowkey too I'd like to drink and chill. So like I'd like to know if I should wait or just go to the store by myself.

Honestly I'll give her like half an hour or something..

This is just annoying. I wanna get faded and clean to my fucking room with my friend.

Today nobody could tear me down. I even(over text) started talking about the ways my brother hurts me and how he makes these conditions on things without even trying to understand me.

For yrs I just took his shit. He has no problem just hanging on to anything overdone to him and after so many fucking convos OVER AND OVER ITS STILL THE FUCKING SAME.

God I really want to go to like therapy with him or have a proper meditator bc that's the only way well be able to talk about this shit.i brought it up yrs ago but I dunno If he'd actually do It.

He hasn't even seen a therapist before and always go back and forth with his mental health care.
It's the environment he's in but honestly he needs to start working on some his shit with professionals.

The other day he got triggered (happens alot) &ike was just going the fuck off. No room for any conflict resolution and just gimme blaming me. Him catatephical kinda of thinking where...

One problem has been one that's forever and that's who you are. I AM SICK OF IT.

We never talk about that shit. & theres so much to talk about bc IT ALWAYS HAPPENS.

He apparently cant talk to me bc I react angrily so he doesn't bother. K fair enough but ewe have alked about this MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES.

Well I cant talk to you bc A. From when we are younger you literally didn't listen much/stopped listening well

B. you react angrily to things constantly like I'm talking and I have to walk around eggshells or be super precise and proper.

& not to excuse my behaviour but my angr is more alike " I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW" or something like that.

His is yelling at me bc he cant hear talking or bc I ask him to repeat what he said.
He's explained where the anger comes from but... yeah...

Wow I just worote alot about that and never really sat down and be able to look at it all....


(Ps. Again I dont spell check or whatever. )

 

[Ghost2211]

Sounds like you just need a set up where you have your own personal space.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Sounds like you just need a set up where you have your own personal space.

Yup and sadly even tho I'm moving I won't have much of my own space tbh. It's a transitional house so they expect me to do things.

Basic living things but eh. Only thing I'll miss about living with my mom is the little bit of privacy I have here I dunno.

I just wanna waste my days away but I'll have to pretend and be around people. House meeting communal cooking etc. which isnt obv horrible bu god when I dont wanna live all that shit just sounds exhausting.

If my mom wasn't so awful wouldn't move. I know I'm not a good fit for this place especially with how I feel about life. I just dont have a choice so I gotta step up.


Jeez maybe this is why I wasn't very excited about the move :(

 

[Ghost2211]

Even though it is more social it might be better since you don't have the emotional connections and repercussions of the relationships.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Even though it is more social it might be better since you don't have the emotional connections and repercussions of the relationships.

Tru they want to build community kinda thing. Just gonna learn the balance of keeping distance but still being "involved enough"

Itll definitely be more peaceful

 

[BPD Barbie]

Sometimes we just need to vent and let off some steam, that's why its good that you came here instead of doing something else impulsively. I can't say much to make your life better, just know that there are loads of people here who you can talk to and want things to be better for you