Method Jumping from a bridge this week

[Edge]

Some things have happened that have pushed me over the edge and I really feel I need to CTB in the next few days. From what I've read here I'm worried about things going wrong from partial hanging if I was somehow interrupted (brain damage etc.) & I don't have access to N or SN.
My plan is to jump from a bridge in my city into the river in the middle of night, where no one will see me/interrupt, the water is freezing & the currents are strong. Not exactly a peaceful way to go but I think it's pretty effective. Plus there isn't the risk of terrible damage to my body if this method fails.

 

[AhG]

Sorry to hear about the problems that pushed you. Hopefully everything will work out for you mate.

 

[wiroho]

Good luck wish you balls of steel.

 

[Edge]

Sorry to hear about the problems that pushed you. Hopefully everything will work out for you mate.

Thank you I really appreciate that - fingers crossed it all works!

 

[Edge]

Good luck wish you balls of steel.

Which will help me go through with it and perhaps weigh me down in the water - win win!

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hi Edge, do you know if the height is sufficient for what you need? I'm so sorry it's come to this point for you :-( if anyone can help by talking anything through please say so x

 

[Edge]

Hi Edge, do you know if the height is sufficient for what you need? I'm so sorry it's come to this point for you :-( if anyone can help by talking anything through please say so x

Thank you that's really kind of you - I've just come to the realisation that I've only got worse not better and it's not only messing up my life but those around me. I've got to go because I can't bear living any longer or inflicting my selfishness on the people around me.
In terms of the jump, it's not particularly high but my plan was more about hypothermia/being dragged by the strong currents x

 

[JustAboutDone]

Thank you that's really kind of you - I've just come to the realisation that I've only got worse not better and it's not only messing up my life but those around me. I've got to go because I can't bear living any longer or inflicting my selfishness on the people around me.
In terms of the jump, it's not particularly high but my plan was more about hypothermia/being dragged by the strong currents x

This is going to sound like a rubbish cliche so slap me (from a distance!) but I don't know if there is any truth about getting worse before you get better? I don't know your personal circumstances so it's a question not a platitude - if that makes sense? My brain isn't good at phrasing things right. Are you family loving and supportive?

 

[Edge]

Haha, I wouldn't dream of giving you a virtual slap! I understand where you are coming from, it's just that I've been through the cycles of doing a bit better and then crashing back down into a deep depression, ruining my relationships with people and any progress I've made in other areas of life - it never lasts. It feels like an endless cycle that just prolonging pain - I feel like I've run out of energy or the ability to try to make things better x

 

[Edge]

Sorry I forgot to say - I've gradually lost touch with my family as I've been depressed for quite some time, it feels irreparable at this point. I feel that for me to ctb would be terrible but it's worse for me to carry on hurting them in this way

 

[DrownedOctopus]

Haha, I wouldn't dream of giving you a virtual slap! I understand where you are coming from, it's just that I've been through the cycles of doing a bit better and then crashing back down into a deep depression, ruining my relationships with people and any progress I've made in other areas of life - it never lasts. It feels like an endless cycle that just prolonging pain - I feel like I've run out of energy or the ability to try to make things better x

I can understand what you mean by the cycles. While everyone at least once in their life has a bout of depression, some are more prone for it to reoccur. I don't know if you've tried this already but perhaps see a professional? Maybe meds will help, sometimes the brain screws up the chemicals. It takes trial and error because everyone's brain responds differently, but maybe it's an option for you.
It's difficult when you know it's just going to keep happening, but maybe this will help you stop the cycle.
If you truly believe this is the right decision for you, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Edge]

I can understand what you mean by the cycles. While everyone at least once in their life has a bout of depression, some are more prone for it to reoccur. I don't know if you've tried this already but perhaps see a professional? Maybe meds will help, sometimes the brain screws up the chemicals. It takes trial and error because everyone's brain responds differently, but maybe it's an option for you.
It's difficult when you know it's just going to keep happening, but maybe this will help you stop the cycle.
If you truly believe this is the right decision for you, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Thank you, I've been to therapy/on medication before but as you say it's hard to throw myself into it again when these cycles keep happening.
I've been on a waiting list to see a therapist for around 4 months and unable to take my medication for around 1 month (not ideal for me to do this but I haven't had access to them!)
Truthfully I just wish I had a time machine to go back and get proper help before I permanently damaged my relationships and future prospects for good. I don't see a way out from the mess I've got myself into & (unless someone doesn't mind lending me their time machine!) I do feel ctb is the best option

 

[DrownedOctopus]

Thank you, I've been to therapy/on medication before but as you say it's hard to throw myself into it again when these cycles keep happening.
I've been on a waiting list to see a therapist for around 4 months and unable to take my medication for around 1 month (not ideal for me to do this but I haven't had access to them!)
Truthfully I just wish I had a time machine to go back and get proper help before I permanently damaged my relationships and future prospects for good. I don't see a way out from the mess I've got myself into & (unless someone doesn't mind lending me their time machine!) I do feel ctb is the best option

Maybe there's a way to repair relationships and opportunities elsewhere for a brighter future. Apologies can go a long way, and sometimes there's an opportunity hidden somewhere.
I don't know your situation or what happened. If I had a time machine I'd lend it to you, but I'm still working on that myself!
I wish you the best in your decision.

 

[Edge]

Maybe there's a way to repair relationships and opportunities elsewhere for a brighter future. Apologies can go a long way, and sometimes there's an opportunity hidden somewhere.
I don't know your situation or what happened. If I had a time machine I'd lend it to you, but I'm still working on that myself!
I wish you the best in your decision.

Thank you thats really sweet of you - if I stumble across one I'll let you know!
I know what you mean & I really appreciate you saying this but I've gone through these cycles of going AWOL on friends and family, getting back in touch & then disappearing again. It's not okay but for the most part I'm struggling to cope most days. There's only so much I feel people will put up with which is totally understandable - I'm not being a good friend/daughter/sister etc.

 

[JustAboutDone]

You know what's right for you and I wouldn't ever doubt you. I don't have a time machine but if I did you could most definitely borrow it
:-) I used to think a flying carpet carpet would be nice so I could fly away from the bad things... if I ever get one of those you can join me

In the meantime, family relationships can be complicated I think. Your family are partly responsible for how you are and how you behave and interact so don't take the whole burden on your own shoulders like it's just you.

If you've been taking medication and had to stop that's probably making you feel rotten too? I don't know, sometimes stopping - I know you had to - makes you feel all kinds of bombarded blame thoughts due to low dopamine or serotonin levels.

Xxx

 

[DrownedOctopus]

Thank you thats really sweet of you - if I stumble across one I'll let you know!
I know what you mean & I really appreciate you saying this but I've gone through these cycles of going AWOL on friends and family, getting back in touch & then disappearing again. It's not okay but for the most part I'm struggling to cope most days. There's only so much I feel people will put up with which is totally understandable - I'm not being a good friend/daughter/sister etc.

I know maybe it's not the easiest thing in the world, but people are more inderstanding when they know what's going on. Even just explaining you're having a hard time being social in the moment but will get back to them when you can goes a long way.
I'm not trying to talk you out of any decision, just suggesting maybe there's a way to fix what you think isn't repairable.

 

[21Neberg]

Be careful! You're attempting at night and it's probably so cold you'll put a jacket on. However, I remember a girl from a documentary who attempted suicide by jumping off the golden gate bridge. She's one of the few that failed because her jacket kind of served as a parachute. I remember it vaguely, but I'd like to warn you before you seriously injure yourself and survive.

 

[ron_g]

Many who drowned in a river were drunk. Alcohol could help with this method.
Oh, and if someone does spot you and divers will rescue you, you can still survive with brain damage due to hypoxia.

 

[Samuel]

Still here OP?

 

[Dead_Inside]

Some things have happened that have pushed me over the edge and I really feel I need to CTB in the next few days. From what I've read here I'm worried about things going wrong from partial hanging if I was somehow interrupted (brain damage etc.) & I don't have access to N or SN.
My plan is to jump from a bridge in my city into the river in the middle of night, where no one will see me/interrupt, the water is freezing & the currents are strong. Not exactly a peaceful way to go but I think it's pretty effective. Plus there isn't the risk of terrible damage to my body if this method fails.

Just be careful and safe. I know that sounds stupid but I want you to have a peaceful end... and I worry when people rush suicide. I can understand the hurry- there a few circumstances in which I would have to move my suicide to immediately as well.
So I send you all the luck I have to give.... find your peace away from here. You won't be standing there alone, you will have all of us by your side.

 

[lookingforward]

Others have offered comfort in terms of getting better, but if you're determined...I would really really pick a higher bridge and not rely on the hypothermia and drowning. First, it will be far more painful. Second, you have a greater chance of survival and then rescue. You don't want that, you could have a lot of damage.
If you can just hang on for a bit, for something more reliable, I would if I were you. Maybe the feelings will even subside. But if they don't, at least you'll have an alternative in place that's cleaner. I wish you peace, whatever you decide.

 

[Salvacion]

Some things have happened that have pushed me over the edge and I really feel I need to CTB in the next few days. From what I've read here I'm worried about things going wrong from partial hanging if I was somehow interrupted (brain damage etc.) & I don't have access to N or SN.
My plan is to jump from a bridge in my city into the river in the middle of night, where no one will see me/interrupt, the water is freezing & the currents are strong. Not exactly a peaceful way to go but I think it's pretty effective. Plus there isn't the risk of terrible damage to my body if this method fails.

How r u doing? I found my bridge today

 

[GeorgeEastman]

That's what sucks about living in a mid size city like I do. These buildings just aren't tall enough. Neither are the bridges really.