ColorlessTrees
Stuck
- Jan 4, 2022
- 261
I'm ashamed. I've been isolated for most of my life, and getting a job is difficult. I've completed two training programs: one scarred me for life from all the failure and embarrassment, (CNA) and the other was useless in the long run, because without experience it's impossible to get a job. Even in these times, they only want phlebotomists with 6+ months of experience, and I have literally zero work experience in general. It doesn't help that I moved to a significantly smaller city, so the job opportunities are even less. I'd also bomb any interview because I'm so meek and quiet.
Last December, I got a holiday help job at a department store; I'm ashamed that I quit within a week. There was no interview, they didn't even make me run the cash register due to perceived anxiety, and were accommodating as possible with all my schedule changes because I couldn't handle it. I worked one eight-hour day, and three five hour days. But I was crying every single day and dreading it all majorly. I broke down in the bathroom the last day. The time just crawled and I feel so bad because it was the easiest job in the world—sorting and folding clothes. I couldn't even handle five hours of that every day. (Tbf it was mind numbing) The shame broke me so bad.
I could possibly get rehired at the location closest to me as a "former employee", but I'm already struggling with my two college classes. It kills me, because I need the job experience. I have nothing to put on a resume, and no money coming in. The more I avoid responsibility, the more I rot. I don't even have a driver's license.
I can't handle a job, but I feel trapped and like my future's going to be difficult if I don't get one eventually. If I ever make it to the nursing portion, I won't be able to have one because it's full time. I'm just frustrated because even in my endless free time I don't do anything. Leisure or productive. I try to finish my homework, but after that I just lie in bed and want to do things, think about doing them, but don't. Sorry about my pity party. Thanks for reading.
Last December, I got a holiday help job at a department store; I'm ashamed that I quit within a week. There was no interview, they didn't even make me run the cash register due to perceived anxiety, and were accommodating as possible with all my schedule changes because I couldn't handle it. I worked one eight-hour day, and three five hour days. But I was crying every single day and dreading it all majorly. I broke down in the bathroom the last day. The time just crawled and I feel so bad because it was the easiest job in the world—sorting and folding clothes. I couldn't even handle five hours of that every day. (Tbf it was mind numbing) The shame broke me so bad.
I could possibly get rehired at the location closest to me as a "former employee", but I'm already struggling with my two college classes. It kills me, because I need the job experience. I have nothing to put on a resume, and no money coming in. The more I avoid responsibility, the more I rot. I don't even have a driver's license.
I can't handle a job, but I feel trapped and like my future's going to be difficult if I don't get one eventually. If I ever make it to the nursing portion, I won't be able to have one because it's full time. I'm just frustrated because even in my endless free time I don't do anything. Leisure or productive. I try to finish my homework, but after that I just lie in bed and want to do things, think about doing them, but don't. Sorry about my pity party. Thanks for reading.
