Jealous Feelings?

[LonelyLight]

Some of my family have already had to deal with a suicide a few years ago, and they do not forgive it or visit their grave. They just kinda moved swiftly passed it. I think its sad because I'm such an empathtic person i just think how could you not see the pain they were in to make that choice.
Anyways, I know that when i ctb, some family who i love dearly will probably cast me aside and forget me. On one hand I guess its what i would want, and on the other im finding it a bitter pill to swallow.
Does anyone else hold these almost envious feelings towards the people that will be left behind?
Envy that they will move on and then get to live their lives?
Or am I just incredibly selfish?
Its a thought I can't shake and I'm curious if other people have had it. I'm sorry if this post is all over the place, I've never been great at writing my thoughts.

 

[martha]

I share your feelings..

 

[LonelyLight]

I share your feelings..

Thank you Martha. It is nice to know someone understands these feelings.

 

[Roger]

When my adored wife died, I had the grave dug deep enough so that I could join her, in due course. I was not suicidal then, but I sure am now.

I would so like to be buried with her. Whatever you believe about an afterlife, the thought of spending eternity with her is comforting.
But is it right to ask for the grave to be shared with a suicide ?
I'm sure she'd forgive me, but everybody who knew her loved her, and I don't want to sully her memory.
Maybe I could be buried there, but ask for no commemoration of myself on the headstone ?

 

[LonelyLight]

When my adored wife died, I had the grave dug deep enough so that I could join her, in due course. I was not suicidal then, but I sure am now.

I would so like to be buried with her. Whatever you believe about an afterlife, the thought of spending eternity with her is comforting.
But is it right to ask for the grave to be shared with a suicide ?
I'm sure she'd forgive me, but everybody who knew her loved her, and I don't want to sully her memory.
Maybe I could be buried there, but ask for no commemoration of myself on the headstone ?

Roger, I am sorry to hear about your beloved wife. I cannot imagine the pain of losing her. In my personal opinion you should have every right to share her grave, regardless of the cause of death. I also believe you have every right to be on the headstone. If that is your resting place, it deserves to be marked.
I'm not sure if you've ever seen the grave stone of the Catholic woman and Protestant man who, because of their different religions, were not allowed to be buried together, something i disagree with. I have attached a picture of their grave stones, joined together despite the wall between them. I think its beautiful. Sorry to ramble, its just your question brought this image to my mind.

 

[Roger]

What an interesting photograph. Where is the location ?
Ah, found it thanks to Google. Roermond ! And I used to go there weekly when I was stationed nearby in the Army, 45 years ago. I would have gone to see it, had I known about it !

 

[LonelyLight]

What an interesting photograph. Where is the location ?

I believe it is in the Netherlands

 

[Roger]

Yes

I believe it is in the Netherlands

Yes. Roermond, a town very close to the border with Germany

 

[Scribble Fan]

I get jealous too, especially considering one of the main reasons for me wanting to ctb is the raw emotional wreckage left behind from their lifetime of abuses while they get to remain free and happy.

I don't think you're being selfish at all, short end of the stick hurts.

 

[LonelyLight]

I get jealous too, especially considering one of the main reasons for me wanting to ctb is the raw emotional wreckage left behind from their lifetime of abuses while they get to remain free and happy.

I don't think you're being selfish at all, short end of the stick hurts.

Why do the A-holes who appreciate nothing have it all? Sickens me. Thanks for the understanding! Sorry you share the feelings but its a small comfort to know we are not alone in feeling them.