I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING! What else can I do???

[Eden2k]

What do you do when you've tried everything, but not improving?
What I mean by everything is:

• medication (nothing works) apparently I'm treatment resistant.
• Talking therapies (current)
• self-help books (mindfullness)
• Mental health teams
• Hospital admissions

Mental health services are full of shit. Told the duty worker, last Friday, over the phone that I have made plans to ctb, which I have never done before, because my mental health is deteriorating. Told that if I felt like this next week then phone back and wait to see Psych in 3-months, despite telling the morone that I don't have three months left in me.
I guess I have always known that it would come to this (ctb) but really wanted to avoid this. I'm based in the UK and the waiting list for any kind of support for mental health support is appalling. Overstretched and underfunded.
Does anyone, based in the UK, have any advice on what else I can do so it doesn't have to come to ctb? I'm tired of reading in UK newspapers, when someone ends their life, that improvements have been made in mental health services. Bull f**king S**t! Always too little too late. I'm failing, despite all I've done to fix myself. Why can't there be a "reset button" in my brain?
I need to write about all the times I have tried to get help from so called mental health services, including A&E (UK) ER (US) and note what their responses were i.e. " sorry we can't help you, see your GP, or " phone us back when you are in Crisis" and " there is nothing that I can do". I guess being suicidal and having no support is not a crisis.
I'm s fighter, but I don't have anymore fight left in me.
Sorry for the rant!!!

 

[Fucking loving it]

I've tried everything too...
Seems so many of us are considered treatment resistant.
The only way they will hospitalize you in the US is if you are actively suicidal.
All of it is frustrating. Dealing with the mental health system.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I'm in the UK as well and agree with everything you said, regarding what else you could do, all I could suggest is going private. Though for the majority of us that is unrealistic!
The only other thing I can think of is this.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...y-lsd-dmt-amphetamines-ketamine-a8395511.html

 

[Fucking loving it]

I'm on ketamine (prescribed) and it's all that helps me. It helps with my impulsiveness when it comes to ctb and obsessing about it . Adderall also helps me get off my ass. I wish everyone could try ketamine. Hopefully someday it will be considered a treatment for all.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I'm on ketamine (prescribed) and it's all that helps me. It helps with my impulsiveness when it comes to ctb and obsessing about it . Adderall also helps me get off my ass. I wish everyone could try ketamine. Hopefully someday it will be considered a treatment for all.

Apparently trials are being done in the USA for a katamine nasal spray.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...ntal-health-clinical-trial-yale-a8304431.html

 

[Fucking loving it]

Apparently trials are being done in the USA for a katamine nasal spray.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...ntal-health-clinical-trial-yale-a8304431.html

That's what I'm in.... the trial.

 

[Johnnythefox]

That's what I'm in.... the trial.

Lucky you, I just checked and it is not available here in the UK on the nhs..
Tory bastards no doubt not wanting to fund it.

 

[Eden2k]

I'm in the UK as well and agree with everything you said, regarding what else you could do, all I could suggest is going private. Though for the majority of us that is unrealistic!
The only other thing I can think of is this.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...y-lsd-dmt-amphetamines-ketamine-a8395511.html

I'm sure I can find someone local who can sell me ketamine. Never purchased illegal drugs before but I'll give anything a try right now, I have a few weeks left before planned ctb so I'll give this a try in the meantime. Thanks

 

[Johnnythefox]

I'm sure I can find someone local who can sell me ketamine. Never purchased illegal drugs before but I'll give anything a try right now, I have a few weeks left before planned ctb so I'll give this a try in the meantime. Thanks

I might try and source some myself as the prescription drugs don't do much for me..
Will have to read a bit about it as I'm no expert.

 

[Throwaway563078]

I tried too and I can't hold on any longer

 

[Toenditall]

I'm from the uk to after an attempt a month ago my mates dragged me to a&e all they did was sit me in the waiting room for hours and hours and told me I'll get help but I ended up walking out after the 13th hour haven't heard anything since it's a disgrace

 

[Eden2k]

I tried too and I can't hold on any longer

It's absolute torture. I hadn't planned on ctb until after Christmas, but really struggling myself. It is just getting more and more unbearable. When I get paid this week coming, I intend on going to different chemists/pharmacies and buying some of what I need. Then make an emergency appointment to see my doctor at the surgery tomorrow and get a prescription for some more sleeping meds to add to my stash. I have no intention of uttering a word of how I'm not coping and my plans to doctor, just going to say that I'm struggling to sleep. Pointless, completely and utterly pointless. Mother has some tramodol that she doesn't even take, so I have them also, including my own prescription meds that I haven't taken in a long time but still collect the meds weekly. I'm so sorry that you are also struggling to hold on any longer. It's f**king s**t isn't it?

 

[Eden2k]

I'm from the uk to after an attempt a month ago my mates dragged me to a&e all they did was sit me in the waiting room for hours and hours and told me I'll get help but I ended up walking out after the 13th hour haven't heard anything since it's a disgrace

Same happened to me a month ago at a&e, apart from the fact that I hadn't made an attempt, but dangerously close too. I went first to a&e on the Saturday. I left after waiting hours. Came back the following day. Told the triage nurse how I was struggling and felt very suicidal. I was put in a room with no windows and a security guard, stationed outside my room, the entire time I was there. By the time a male nurse from the mental health liason team came, all he said and I quote "there's not much that he could do apart from email my GP to see if they could give my anything to help me sleep. What a pack of shit! You are right it is a disgrace. At some point this week, I am phoning my local newspaper to see if they can write a story about the lack of support and failings by mental health staff. They need to be ashamed of themselves

 

[Toenditall]

Same happened to me a month ago at a&e, apart from the fact that I hadn't made an attempt, but dangerously close too. I went first to a&e on the Saturday. I left after waiting hours. Came back the following day. Told the triage nurse how I was struggling and felt very suicidal. I was put in a room with no windows and a security guard, stationed outside my room, the entire time I was there. By the time a male nurse from the mental health liason team came, all he said and I quote "there's not much that he could do apart from email my GP to see if they could give my anything to help me sleep. What a pack of shit! You are right it is a disgrace. At some point this week, I am phoning my local newspaper to see if they can write a story about the lack of support and failings by mental health staff. They need to be ashamed of themselves

I think the problem we both had is that it was the weekend and they are busy as hell with drunk people who can't control them selfs I even got told to come back when it wasn't so busy nhs is great isn't it if you go for help make sure they aren't busy

 

[Eden2k]

I think the problem we both had is that it was the weekend and they are busy as hell with drunk people who can't control them selfs I even got told to come back when it wasn't so busy nhs is great isn't it if you go for help make sure they aren't busy

Sad but very true. When is a good time if you are suicidal or have made an attempt? Wasters the whole lot of them. I really hope that my local newspaper will print my story.

 

[Toenditall]

I hope they do too if you need a second person to help feel free to pm me and I'll help as much as possible

 

[Eden2k]

I hope they do too if you need a second person to help feel free to pm me and I'll help as much as possible

Thank you. I May hold you to that. Two people, probably from different parts of the UK, experienced similar treatment. This survival instinct thing is a pain in the arse

 

[Toenditall]

Well I'm from Birmingham not sure if that helps at all and yeh survival instinct is horrible today was ment to be my day but couldn't do it

 

[Johnnythefox]

I think the biggest problem regarding mental health care is finance, not a lack of money but mismanagement of. Thatcher got the ball rolling with "care in the community" which saw the closure of the old mental institutions and the vulnerable and sick being turfed out. I think there is a need for institutions as many people are unable to function in society and such places give them a safe haven. Again it is all about money and not spending it on health care/welfare, though there always seems to be money for new warships and bombs etc. Things are only going to get worse as the tories seek to destroy the NHS and hand it over to the private sector.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ailure-says-Iain-Duncan-Smith-think-tank.html

 

[Eden2k]

Well I'm from Birmingham not sure if that helps at all and yeh survival instinct is horrible today was ment to be my day but couldn't do it

I'm from Manchester.
I've read on this site, where people have planned to ctb but for whatever reason, it didn't happen and people will say stuff like "I hope you find your peace", or "see you soon on the otherside". I'm not yet at that point to say to someone, who is planning to ctb at the time they post, "good luck" or "I hope you are successful", because I guess there is still that small part in me that believes that there is hope, but then I wake up again still in so much mental pain, that I think I'm slowly starting to understand why people are posting stuff like that. Well for what it's worth, I'm glad that you didn't ctb today.

 

[Toenditall]

I think I'm at the same point at the moment I want to think there's hope but then like yourself I wake up like here we go yet another day to get though and thank you :)

 

[Eden2k]

I think the biggest problem regarding mental health care is finance, not a lack of money but mismanagement of. Thatcher got the ball rolling with "care in the community" which saw the closure of the old mental institutions and the vulnerable and sick being turfed out. I think there is a need for institutions as many people are unable to function in society and such places give them a safe haven. Again it is all about money and not spending it on health care/welfare, though there always seems to be money for new warships and bombs etc. Things are only going to get worse as the tories seek to destroy the NHS and hand it over to the private sector.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ailure-says-Iain-Duncan-Smith-think-tank.html

Very true. I despise nhs psychiatric hospitals and most of the staff that work in them. I'd there were decent in-patient nhs facilities, where we would receive the right support, with competent staff, then I know that I wouldn't feel complete and utter despair and feel that ctb is the only option left. I had private health care insurance, but it was not valid for pre-existing medical conditions. Got to love the nhs (not)

 

[Eowyn]

What do you do when you've tried everything, but not improving?
What I mean by everything is:

• medication (nothing works) apparently I'm treatment resistant.
• Talking therapies (current)
• self-help books (mindfullness)
• Mental health teams
• Hospital admissions

Mental health services are full of shit. Told the duty worker, last Friday, over the phone that I have made plans to ctb, which I have never done before, because my mental health is deteriorating. Told that if I felt like this next week then phone back and wait to see Psych in 3-months, despite telling the morone that I don't have three months left in me.
I guess I have always known that it would come to this (ctb) but really wanted to avoid this. I'm based in the UK and the waiting list for any kind of support for mental health support is appalling. Overstretched and underfunded.
Does anyone, based in the UK, have any advice on what else I can do so it doesn't have to come to ctb? I'm tired of reading in UK newspapers, when someone ends their life, that improvements have been made in mental health services. Bull f**king S**t! Always too little too late. I'm failing, despite all I've done to fix myself. Why can't there be a "reset button" in my brain?
I need to write about all the times I have tried to get help from so called mental health services, including A&E (UK) ER (US) and note what their responses were i.e. " sorry we can't help you, see your GP, or " phone us back when you are in Crisis" and " there is nothing that I can do". I guess being suicidal and having no support is not a crisis.
I'm s fighter, but I don't have anymore fight left in me.
Sorry for the rant!!!

I've been passed from pillar to post myself, had more than my fair share of hospital admissions (once at the Priory and the remaining times in NHS 'hospitals') and am increasingly shocked and appalled at the treatment I've received each time.

When I asked once, what they thought they were doing to help me, all they could reply was "you are an inpatient on a mental health ward". Didn't receive any kind of therapy, medication or anything. Just held against my will, like being in a prison, only with less freedom.

The only thing I can think of is ECT, if you have exhausted all other options and don't want to have to ctb yet. My friend I met in the hospital had it, and it seemed to help her to some degree. I don't know if it works for everyone, and there is a very long waiting list, and even then at the end of the waiting I think it is only a 6 week course (can't recall exactly - might be shorter) you are allowed..

It's horrible that people like us that are in the most need of help often fall through the cracks in the system... you have to remember that these so-called professionals are only interested in helping the easy to treat patients, anything else is beyond them, because it's too much hard work for them.

Also you are right, whenever someone does ctb and it's reported in the news, the mental heath services in that area NEVER improve. Worse still, when the doctors involved make comments on these news pieces, they often lie to cover their own backs. They'll say "so-and-so wasn't engaging, so there was nothing we could do blah bla". It's more to do with the fact they ARE engaging, but getting NOWHERE with it. Hence they end up giving up.

Anyway, just thought I'd give my view and have a little rant myself in the process.x

 

[Johnnythefox]

I have no love affair with the NHS, but at the end of the day we don't receive a massive bill at the end of our stay like many other countries. Since the NHS was broken up into trusts and the private sector allowed to operate within it, it has slowly been eroded and is becoming unrecognisable to its original conception. We are lucky in Scotland in that we get free prescriptions, and I was seen fairly quickly regarding a prostate examination. I'm sure the majority of health professionals enter the profession with the best intentions but they get ground down by bureaucracy and bad management. The government don't give a shit about the People and it never ceases to amaze me how much shit people put up with in this country.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-45356349

 

[Eden2k]

I've been passed from pillar to post myself, had more than my fair share of hospital admissions (once at the Priory and the remaining times in NHS 'hospitals') and am increasingly shocked and appalled at the treatment I've received each time.

When I asked once, what they thought they were doing to help me, all they could reply was "you are an inpatient on a mental health ward". Didn't receive any kind of therapy, medication or anything. Just held against my will, like being in a prison, only with less freedom.

The only thing I can think of is ECT, if you have exhausted all other options and don't want to have to ctb yet. My friend I met in the hospital had it, and it seemed to help her to some degree. I don't know if it works for everyone, and there is a very long waiting list, and even then at the end of the waiting I think it is only a 6 week course (can't recall exactly - might be shorter) you are allowed..

It's horrible that people like us that are in the most need of help often fall through the cracks in the system... you have to remember that these so-called professionals are only interested in helping the easy to treat patients, anything else is beyond them, because it's too much hard work for them.

Also you are right, whenever someone does ctb and it's reported in the news, the mental heath services in that area NEVER improve. Worse still, when the doctors involved make comments on these news pieces, they often lie to cover their own backs. They'll say "so-and-so wasn't engaging, so there was nothing we could do blah bla". It's more to do with the fact they ARE engaging, but getting NOWHERE with it. Hence they end up giving up.

Anyway, just thought I'd give my view and have a little rant myself in the process.x

I've been thinking about ECT for some time now. When I discussed wanting to have ECT with a consultant Psychiatrist, I was told that it is only used by people with severe depression. Apparently because I'm coherent, can articulate my difficulties and considered high functioning, I am not considered to be someone who is suffering, by their standards anyway. I have been told several times that I look well, meaning my clothes are clean, I attend to my personal hygiene. Basically, I don't physically look like someone who is severely depressed ( whatever that looks like) I always try to present myself well because I don't want my outward appearance to resemble how I feel inside (falling apart, disgusting, broken) I guess my actions, previous history and words and intentions, are not enough to warrant being severely depressed and fucked up.Therefore, not suitable for other forms of treatment, after everything else, that has been tried, as not been successful.

 

[Arak]

@Eden2k ,

If I may and I don't want to be insensitive, any chance the treatment is worse than the cause/'disease' ? Life experiences, bad situations are often the problem. And sometimes one's own outlook as well.

Modern 'mental health' seeks the problem within the individual, while noone can exist alone ...

 

[DeletedUser4739]

What do you do when you've tried everything, but not improving?
What I mean by everything is:

• medication (nothing works) apparently I'm treatment resistant.
• Talking therapies (current)
• self-help books (mindfullness)
• Mental health teams
• Hospital admissions

Mental health services are full of shit. Told the duty worker, last Friday, over the phone that I have made plans to ctb, which I have never done before, because my mental health is deteriorating. Told that if I felt like this next week then phone back and wait to see Psych in 3-months, despite telling the morone that I don't have three months left in me.
I guess I have always known that it would come to this (ctb) but really wanted to avoid this. I'm based in the UK and the waiting list for any kind of support for mental health support is appalling. Overstretched and underfunded.
Does anyone, based in the UK, have any advice on what else I can do so it doesn't have to come to ctb? I'm tired of reading in UK newspapers, when someone ends their life, that improvements have been made in mental health services. Bull f**king S**t! Always too little too late. I'm failing, despite all I've done to fix myself. Why can't there be a "reset button" in my brain?
I need to write about all the times I have tried to get help from so called mental health services, including A&E (UK) ER (US) and note what their responses were i.e. " sorry we can't help you, see your GP, or " phone us back when you are in Crisis" and " there is nothing that I can do". I guess being suicidal and having no support is not a crisis.
I'm s fighter, but I don't have anymore fight left in me.
Sorry for the rant!!!

From a fighter in the US to a fighter in the UK, I can tell you that "healthcare professionals" and their "solutions/treatments" may be only partially helpful at best. The approach to care is beyond bullshit, and improvements are only made to increase funding for treatment that creates the measurements needed to justify more resources being thrown at mental health, irregardless of their actual effectiveness for those in or needing treatment. You mentioned writing about your experience. That's pretty much the only thing keeping me going today: fury, the need to communicate my experience to others and to not pass before my Dad does...which is likely soon. Once freed of my obligation to my Dad, I expect the grief will be powerful enough to determine my fate.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

I've tried everything too...
Seems so many of us are considered treatment resistant.
The only way they will hospitalize you in the US is if you are actively suicidal.
All of it is frustrating. Dealing with the mental health system.

I remember messaging about this with you when I first joined the site this summer. What's really ironic these days is the crisis center doesn't want me. After several times of forced hospitalization with zero treatment, I've turned their intake interview around. I'm more trouble than I'm worth to them these days. Somehow my insanity is allowing me bizarre moments of control and clarity right now. I cooperate while there, but I remember everyone, what they did and when. Like the nurse who decided unilaterally to take me off of levothyroxin, a thyroid replacement hormone I'd been on without issue for decades. It is also critical to the health of nearly every cell in the human body and when out of balance causes anxiety and confusion, among other things. I have made sure my experiences with each agency are documented. While most of this is an exercise in futility, I get some relief from writing it out, and a little hope from what may come of it if I am one day successful in ending my own life.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

I'm on ketamine (prescribed) and it's all that helps me. It helps with my impulsiveness when it comes to ctb and obsessing about it . Adderall also helps me get off my ass. I wish everyone could try ketamine. Hopefully someday it will be considered a treatment for all.

Glad to hear that's working in some areas for you. I would like an opportunity to try that or some of the lsd and psilocybin microdosing that has promising results so far. May I be so fortunate!

 

[Eden2k]

@Eden2k ,

If I may and I don't want to be insensitive, any chance the treatment is worse than the cause/'disease' ? Life experiences, bad situations are often the problem. And sometimes one's own outlook as well.

Modern 'mental health' seeks the problem within the individual, while noone can exist alone ...

I've always had a positive outlook on life before I started suffering from mental illness. Even through some of my darkest times, fighting this never ending battle, I have always tried to have some hope that things could change. They never do, but get worse. I believe in personal growth and have tried to always better myself, whether academically, spiritually, emotionally etc. All meds that I have been prescribed, over the last 9 years, have proven unsuccessful. Talking therapies may help me to better understand what, in my life, may have caused me to suffer from a mental illness but it doesn't fix the damage that has already been done to my mind, that was once my greatest asset, but now my worst nightmare.