Venting I've told everyone...

[twatingthroughlife]

I've been casually telling my friends and family that I think hanging is one of the best ways to ctb and that's what I'll do when i know for certain everything's going to shit. I told them I will get alcohol, a bunch of snacks and a noose when I'm ready. They think it's a joke and It feels weird because it seems like they don't care even though they know about my mental illness and that I could be serious, but at the same time, it is great that they don't believe me because that means they are not going to try to stop me.
It just feels nice to share my plans with the people I care about.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

At least they know about your mental illness.
If you do finally ctb then at least they can't feel sorry for themselves because they knew you were ill, yet failed to care about you and take you seriously.

 

[wheezle42]

I've found nobody *actually* cares. So many ppl around you love to tell you they're willing to help. Yet the second you take them up on that, you'll see them scuttle away.

I'm also considering hanging, I hope u the best in whichever path you take. P.S. Fuk em

 

[Boardwalk]

I've found nobody *actually* cares. So many ppl around you love to tell you they're willing to help. Yet the second you take them up on that, you'll see them scuttle away.

I'm also considering hanging, I hope u the best in whichever path you take. P.S. Fuk em

Same for me as well. I would've thought they'd care but people just seem to hate being around someone genuinely suicidal, or they just assume you're doing it for attention.

 

[twatingthroughlife]

At least they know about your mental illness.
If you do finally ctb then at least they can't feel sorry for themselves because they knew you were ill, yet failed to care about you and take you seriously.

Yeah. They know but only care to keep me breathing. They don't actually want to help. I just hope they don't feel too guilty when I die

I've found nobody *actually* cares. So many ppl around you love to tell you they're willing to help. Yet the second you take them up on that, you'll see them scuttle away.

I'm also considering hanging, I hope u the best in whichever path you take. P.S. Fuk em

Yeah, they don't care you're unhappy as long as you "hang in there", in my experience. That's not really caring.

And thank you. I actually started liking the idea of hanging like a week ago lol. Seems like an ok way to go. Good luck to you too.

 

[UKscotty]

I hope it doesn't cause too many problems.

I personally never understood why people's want to tell others. It's risks intervention, people alienating us and is just generally an exceptionally bad idea.

 

[Monique696]

I hope it doesn't cause too many problems.

I personally never understood why people's want to tell others. It's risks intervention, people alienating us and is just generally an exceptionally bad idea.

I know first-hand what it feels like to get blindsided by the end of a loved one with no warning up front. My former friend ended himself. He hung himself actually. Being blindsided hurts like hell. Not having a letter hurts like hell. Calling his phone countless times to just hear his voice one last time telling his name before that beep until they disconnected his number hurts like hell. If i could have turned back time and would have known or seen the warnings then it would have made a difference for me.
Except for him giving his dog to a woman due to his bad "working hours" there were no warning signs. I know its foolish today to think nothing of it. But some people simply dont keep their animals until they die.
Anyhow. With me I told my family and friends. Not in direct words like when or how precisely. But I told my husband and everyone else who i feel might be hurt one day from it.
They know about my struggles and pain.
They know about my wish to end it and that i am fighting on getting better to stay a bit longer.
I talk to them also openly about end of life care in Switzerland and other european countries and that i hope they will legalise it in germany as well one day. Also I tell them about a friend I made here who went with pegasos. How her transition ended and why she left with her family knowing and surrounded by loved ones and friends even tho she was only in her early 30s.
I am trying to open their eyes and make them see that they are not at fault.
It is a decision out of love and self love that I made for myself. Depending on how my health develops and how much I am willing to take maybe I can manage to stay a little longer. Every day counts in my book as a success.
Just need to find one nice thing a day to keep me going.
Until then I prepare letters, some voice messages. Hell I am even still writing on another book that begins with the warning that this author has killed herself. And its a self help book. The irony.
But hey such is life.
I hope you will find what works best for you. But maybe to leave them with some love foe when you are gone. It makes a big difference.
Plus you won't be gone. You will no longer have your body. You will no longer have your life. But you are still there. Right here. Just a different format. So its a decision that truly needs to be thought well off beforehand.
Not having pain tho is a bliss i am so looking forward to. No more fear. No more pain. No more nausea. Just bliss and love and experiencing everything you ever wanted to.
Sorry if I overshared. I just wanted to share my experience with cbt and how to make it a bit more pleasant for the ones we leave behind.

 

[twatingthroughlife]

I hope it doesn't cause too many problems.

I personally never understood why people's want to tell others. It's risks intervention, people alienating us and is just generally an exceptionally bad idea.

It could be a cry for help for some people. I had been testing the waters with the subject before actually saying what my plans were and I was almost certain that there wouldn't be any risk of intervention. There wasn't much intervention last time I tried so I was pretty confident. It's just a bit weird to get a confirmation so clear that nobody cares about how I feel as long as I stay alive. I just don't wanna leave without warning, but for the most part, I don't understand it myself either.

I know first-hand what it feels like to get blindsided by the end of a loved one with no warning up front. My former friend ended himself. He hung himself actually. Being blindsided hurts like hell. Not having a letter hurts like hell. Calling his phone countless times to just hear his voice one last time telling his name before that beep until they disconnected his number hurts like hell. If i could have turned back time and would have known or seen the warnings then it would have made a difference for me.
Except for him giving his dog to a woman due to his bad "working hours" there were no warning signs. I know its foolish today to think nothing of it. But some people simply dont keep their animals until they die.
Anyhow. With me I told my family and friends. Not in direct words like when or how precisely. But I told my husband and everyone else who i feel might be hurt one day from it.
They know about my struggles and pain.
They know about my wish to end it and that i am fighting on getting better to stay a bit longer.
I talk to them also openly about end of life care in Switzerland and other european countries and that i hope they will legalise it in germany as well one day. Also I tell them about a friend I made here who went with pegasos. How her transition ended and why she left with her family knowing and surrounded by loved ones and friends even tho she was only in her early 30s.
I am trying to open their eyes and make them see that they are not at fault.
It is a decision out of love and self love that I made for myself. Depending on how my health develops and how much I am willing to take maybe I can manage to stay a little longer. Every day counts in my book as a success.
Just need to find one nice thing a day to keep me going.
Until then I prepare letters, some voice messages. Hell I am even still writing on another book that begins with the warning that this author has killed herself. And its a self help book. The irony.
But hey such is life.
I hope you will find what works best for you. But maybe to leave them with some love foe when you are gone. It makes a big difference.
Plus you won't be gone. You will no longer have your body. You will no longer have your life. But you are still there. Right here. Just a different format. So its a decision that truly needs to be thought well off beforehand.
Not having pain tho is a bliss i am so looking forward to. No more fear. No more pain. No more nausea. Just bliss and love and experiencing everything you ever wanted to.
Sorry if I overshared. I just wanted to share my experience with cbt and how to make it a bit more pleasant for the ones we leave behind.

I have also been talking very openly about humane ctb. I want them to know. I want them to realize that it is not okay to keep people here for their own enjoyment. I hate it that ctb is so badly perceived.

 

[zzz.lb]

I've been casually telling my friends and family that I think hanging is one of the best ways to ctb and that's what I'll do when i know for certain everything's going to shit. I told them I will get alcohol, a bunch of snacks and a noose when I'm ready. They think it's a joke and It feels weird because it seems like they don't care even though they know about my mental illness and that I could be serious, but at the same time, it is great that they don't believe me because that means they are not going to try to stop me.
It just feels nice to share my plans with the people I care about.

yeah, people seldom actually care. everyone around me has known for so long but they dont even give it a second thought. atleast they lose the right to be surprised after i ctb. although maybe they are just not the right friends and you should meet better people, because ik that if my friends told me about their mental illness i would atleast try to help, if that is what they wanted.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my opinion it sounds risky doing such a thing but I understand why you'd feel relieved for them not to be interfering, I wish you the best.