I’ve made a decision

[tiredflower]

So I've decided. I'm giving myself a year to find something worth meaning in my life. I'm actively going to try and have a good year, but I've tried that my whole life and every year resulted in trauma. I'm honouring my friend who ctb a month ago, and who wanted me to have a good life.

Let's just hope this year doesn't result in trauma and can make me feel happy with life I guess.

Ive written a kind of 'prenote' for people to access if I pass in a years time, so they can see I've actually tried. Maybe that will bring comfort to them, as the hardest part I've found considering ctb is how my family will cope. I'm giving myself a year now, so let's hope I can find meaning and happiness in this year. It's only through my friend I've found this courage to even carry on for a year, so thank you friend.

 

[cazwiz]

What do you define as a good year? What would meaning and happiness look like? I'd recommend writing it down now, so that when you're year is up you can review it objectively. Make sure it's realistic and can be measured. It would be terrible to get to the end of the year and not know what you had been aiming for, as how can you then conclude how it went?

 

[tiredflower]

What do you define as a good year? What would meaning and happiness look like? I'd recommend writing it down now, so that when you're year is up you can review it objectively. Make sure it's realistic and can be measured. It would be terrible to get to the end of the year and not know what you had been aiming for, as how can you then conclude how it went?

I've written it down in a lot more detail. However you make a very good point - I need to measure my year objectively and systematically.

 

[Stick]

I think that's a great idea if you have the energy for it. Good luck, tiredflower.

 

[tiredflower]

I think that's a great idea if you have the energy for it. Good luck, tiredflower.

Thank you so much. I'm going to try and be strong on behalf of my friend as I know she'd like me to at least try. But it's about time now I really sit back and analyse how I'm feeling and if it is continuing to get worse. As @cazwiz said, I really need to be objective so I can think rationally about cbt. It needs to be evidence driven for the sake of my decision, and those I leave behind.

 

[sadworld]

I like that plan. Good luck! I hope you have the best year of your life

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I wish you the best of luck. May you have a great year