I think I am close to that as well and I would like to have someone stop me. I think I am very close to fucked it up again even worse than the last time.
yes I also have problems with self-control, impulsiveness, and short-term thinking. some research suggests these things are a symptom of social exclusion. do you feel you have good friends and family?
Many people seem to be wanting to help and stop me, but I keep falling back into the path of self destruction…..
I have, but feel like I'm beyond help…..maybe a lottery win would change things…..but in the other hand, maybe not…..as I said, think I've gone too far
you are lucky, I have nobody around me. Just my wife but she does not know anything about what is happening.
Yes. Not with smoke & rugs... but I forced myself to eat to be able to bear the pain. I was too weak dizzy & hysterical to tie a rope
Stop you? Hm...
Soft... Sweet... Natural candySorry, may I ask as your experience what would be best for your wife, regarding to your mental illness. You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable.
Nope. Been mentally tortured to the point of ctb attempts 5 times by people I asked for help. Paid to help people...
Why is your life dangerous? About to be homeless? Sorry I keep asking. I blame my concussion for my bad memory?
I think my wife would be much better without me, but she seems attached, she says that she loves me and that she wants to live with me. She knows about my depression and she can handle me, and I assure you I am high maintenance. She cope with my mood swings. She does not know much about something I am doing recently. She would be ruined by my death however.
If that is a reason sufficient enough it means you still care for him. At the same time I do not think it is a good reason to endure pain just to satisfy other. We are entitled to decide about our lives. Selfish? Maybe, but it would be the last act of selfishness.
I think the same, she would get the money she needs to live for quite some time. After a bit she would get over it I think and she would not have to cope with me. I would not want to live with a person like me, I can be really too much.
Thank you for you sharing the thought.
Wow we could be twins. It took me a month to clean my kitchen and living room after leaving it for months not cleaning a thing. I could only clean a tiny bit up on some days. Can't fit in any of my clothes anymore. Haven't weighed this much in my life. I shower once a week sometimes twice a week. I always feel exhausted from the effort. Haven't been outside in 3 weeks now and have just been on the couch. I sometimes would try to sit in my small backyard to get sun but then thought why bother. I don't have the energy. My vitamin D is low because I never go outside my house. Have barely left it for two years. Always having stomach aches and headaches from stress. Being around people is so tiring. Going out in the world when I have to mail my rent just feels surreal.
Feel exactly the same… The real world is like an alien planet with all these people coming and going talking on their phones and being normal… I'm just expecting that I'll disappear but that's not how it works… You can be a shut in and live on and on in squalor…
Last time I had to go out I had to return a work computer after my work at home job laid me off. Inside the mail place there was a bookcase of self help books they were selling and a rack of happy greeting cards right by it and I thought what a strange alien world this is. There's people who buy or care about this stuff? This surely is a planet filled with aliens and I'm some visitor from far away. It was a surreal moment.
Disappearing would be ideal…..thinking of doing that….not sure how or what will happen after that…..but somehow it keeps crossing my mind as an option….
Some people feel an increase in self esteem by helping a loved one. So what you see as a high maintenance burden could be a joy that you open your heart to her, to have a sensitive man & not a jerk who beat her. You seem nice. Just cuddle with her?
Bleeding gums isn't a dentist deficiency, it's a vitamin c deficiency. Eat greens. It will clean your teeth.
I think she is really a good person, the type of person you wonder how it is possible to be so selfless. I never beat her but I was abusive with words. Now honestly I care so little that I do not get pissed off anymore.
I live this. Reading someone else is a shock... I improved by reading life tips about adrenal fatigue. Vitamin c, b, magnesium... helps heal a burned out body & mind. But with the toxic cleaner in my home... Or allergies... I'm wasting away fast. Pushed further than my limit by the people paid to help, who do extreme mind fucks...
Care enough to hug? I keep wondering if you crave ctb because you want a divorce but don't dare to abandon an irreproachable but boring woman?
