I’ve got a job!

[Givingupandgivingin]

this means I can my financial affairs in order more quickly (I'm in debt, not much and tbh selling my car would clear it several times over). They must have had a really terrible lot of applicants if I was the best. Unless they offered to others first and they turned it down. Could be that.
I just don't want to die and everyone be 'oh she was in debt as well' and add it to the list of stuff I've failed at, so at least that will be one thing off my mind.

Two months. Cos I can't throw the whole wage at it because of having to spend some of it on my children. One last Christmas to get through. And nothing much matters between now and then because I will be gone soon.

I am done.

 

[Brokensaddle]

Congratulations, hope the momentum keeps moving. Hopefully you'll be able to network and you never know this job might lead to better job down the line.

 

[Givingupandgivingin]

Congratulations, hope the momentum keeps moving. Hopefully you'll be able to network and you never know this job might lead to better job down the line.

Thanks. It's a means to an end really. I am amazed I got it. I'm a loser.

 

[I want to end it]

Congratulations, hope the momentum keeps moving. Hopefully you'll be able to network and you never know this job might lead to better job down the line.

I really love your avatar!

 

[Ghost2211]

Yay, congrats! it's good to hear good things are happening for you. keep up the momentum. whatever path you choose in the end at least the current days are looking better.

 

[Brokensaddle]

I really love your avatar!

Thanks

 

[_Kaira_]

Well congrats on the job! Maybe working there will help give you some hope. But regardless, I do hope these potential last couple months goes well for you.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

this means I can my financial affairs in order more quickly (I'm in debt, not much and tbh selling my car would clear it several times over). They must have had a really terrible lot of applicants if I was the best. Unless they offered to others first and they turned it down. Could be that.
I just don't want to die and everyone be 'oh she was in debt as well' and add it to the list of stuff I've failed at, so at least that will be one thing off my mind.

Two months. Cos I can't throw the whole wage at it because of having to spend some of it on my children. One last Christmas to get through. And nothing much matters between now and then because I will be gone soon.

I am done.

Don't be so tough on yourself, you just might have been the best/most qualified applicant. And who knows what the future may hold in your new job - the people you'll meet, new friends, new interests etc., this may be a fresh start for you

 

[Givingupandgivingin]

Don't be so tough on yourself, you just might have been the best/most qualified applicant. And who knows what the future may hold in your new job - the people you'll meet, new friends, new interests etc., this may be a fresh start for you

Thank you.
I'm not hopeful. It won't change who I fundamentally am.
I'm not quite ready because...I don't know why because. Why are any of us not ready? I am increasingly near to ready though. I have more days than not now when all I think about is not being here.
I'm done. That's what is in my mind most of the time. I managed to hold it together for interview.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Yes, I can relate, but you just never know... good luck with the new job, and have a little faith in yourself

 

[greebo6]

That's great. Congratulations ! Wish you all the best with it.