I’ve finally come to my decision regarding CTB

[suicidal flapper]

Tonight I've made my choice. I have no family anymore, no irl friends, a partner I can't even see, severe gender dysphoria, loss of everything in life due to bullying in school and being locked away in a house for years

Today I realized that my body is incredibly masculine and my shoulders and general build is very bulky and there is simply no fix to this. I was going to settle for a simple life of transitioning and living with my boyfriend in a nice city but now I can't even have that. I'll always look like a pathetic hulk in a dress. Even HRT did nothing for me.

I've given up hope and I have nothing more to look forward to. I'm going to get surgery for my face just to have that as I die and be done with this miserable existence. I'll be looking into SN. I feel exhausted to even do that but I shall I suppose. I've picked out the place I was born in as the spot to end it.

I just wanted a better life. I really really really wanted better. I had no privileges in this life. No social life, no education, no independence, no support, no family connections, wrong body, stolen childhood. I truly had nothing and I feel nothing but pain and bitterness

I don't know when I'm aiming for but I can't do it until I have my surgery which is in a few months.

 

[Innereye]

Im so sorry, I could never understand the pain of gender dysphoria. this was incredibly melancholic to read, I genuinely feel for you.. I wish you had more options.

 

[BodaFly]

I feel your pain more than you could ever know. See you on the other side, I hope it is a gentler place.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really dreadful how people have to suffer so much in this existence, I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I've given up hope and I have nothing more to look forward to. I'm going to get surgery for my face just to have that as I die and be done with this miserable existence. I'll be looking into SN. I feel exhausted to even do that but I shall I suppose. I've picked out the place I was born in as the spot to end it.

If you are going to look into SN then I suggest:

1. Find a way to get the recommended medication to make it easier on yourself during the process of it.

2. Research information on the method in and outside of this forum, get a comprehensive and extensive understanding of the method before going through with it.

I wish you all the best with your plans. It's so disheartening to see people come to such a decision in their life.

 

[suicidal flapper]

If you are going to look into SN then I suggest:

1. Find a way to get the recommended medication to make it easier on yourself during the process of it.

2. Research information on the method in and outside of this forum, get a comprehensive and extensive understanding of the method before going through with it.

I wish you all the best with your plans. It's so disheartening to see people come to such a decision in their life.

thank you

 

[Deleted member 65988]

thank you

If you ever need articles on sn, medical literature to be specific then don't hesitate to pm for private conversation.

 

[suicidal flapper]

If you ever need articles on sn, medical literature to be specific then don't hesitate to pm for private conversation.

I may need help so I'll keep this in mind