F
foxdie
Got my ticket
- Aug 18, 2020
- 1,011
I am losing my mind. I've completely destroyed my life and have caused alienation from everyone important to me due to my own stupid decisions. I am completely isolated, I have very limited connections to anything in this world. I just can't maintain "normal" human relations. I am a complete pariah and feel so alone in this world. I've messed up all the limited friendships I have in life because I've completely withdrawn from the world and it's so fucked up. I am completely invisible... It's so hard, 2020 really fucked me up, like everyone I assume... I am broken. It's just sad thinking about how they could never understand my plight but my ctb will still hurt the people in my life. I don't know, my life is in ruins and I just want to die, to sleep forever. I'm so alone. The decisions I've made this year were my own and it has destroyed me. But I've wanted ctb always, even from a young age I now realize I was headed this way, like destiny. WTF is wrong with me? This world is, so fucking messed up. I am so crazy right now, I can bearly know what is real or not. I just wish I could die... I'm so sorry we're all here... I'm literally bawling my eyes out right now. I'm losing the it. I just hate how the world is. I just wish the world was better or that I was dead. At least I know I want to die. This year has completely destroyed me. I can't understand how I fit in this world and never will. I am so dead inside. I just wish there were easier ways to ctb. I wish I could just jump, but I haven't yet. Anyone else feel something like this?