BlueButterfly111
Autistic and Heartbroken
- Dec 26, 2024
- 318
I keep on thinking about how I was supposed to be dead long by now, but it seems like fate wants me to continue to live. I hope I figure it out eventually, I do want to live, just not continually suffering and feeling sad all of the time. My boyfriend was the only person who was there for me in the time that I was with him, before he passed away. He was the one who actually showed up for me, and who showed me that he cared for me.
I can still feel his spirit and his presence and energy, and that's what keeps me going. I have to think that if I was lucky enough to be blessed to be so closely with an angel like him, then surely more good things could happen in my life, and maybe I have a reason to be here. I know that's just wishful thinking, but I am a spiritual,(not religious) person, and even more so after my whole experience with him.
I can still feel his love and light energy everywhere on good and bad days, he is my angel and my protector who helps guide me through life. And I know that if I decide to leave this Earth I will be with him again somehow, and he would accept whatever decision I decided to make. I still talk to him in my head, and ask him what he thinks about things, it's like he's always still here, even though he's not here.
All I can do is hope that whatever happens, it will all make sense one day. Most of the time I don't think that it's worth it to spend the rest of my life alone, but for now I'm still here, with the love that he gave me guiding me through the darkness.
I can still feel his spirit and his presence and energy, and that's what keeps me going. I have to think that if I was lucky enough to be blessed to be so closely with an angel like him, then surely more good things could happen in my life, and maybe I have a reason to be here. I know that's just wishful thinking, but I am a spiritual,(not religious) person, and even more so after my whole experience with him.
I can still feel his love and light energy everywhere on good and bad days, he is my angel and my protector who helps guide me through life. And I know that if I decide to leave this Earth I will be with him again somehow, and he would accept whatever decision I decided to make. I still talk to him in my head, and ask him what he thinks about things, it's like he's always still here, even though he's not here.
All I can do is hope that whatever happens, it will all make sense one day. Most of the time I don't think that it's worth it to spend the rest of my life alone, but for now I'm still here, with the love that he gave me guiding me through the darkness.
