Dizzy_Dreams
I’m never alone, I’m alone all the time.
- Jun 25, 2020
- 297
There is nothing for me in this world or life.
I'm fucked up. Easily paranoid. Easily upset. I haven't been a good person.
My family is messed up. I don't even have a shot at life and nothing interests me at all. I'll admit I'm pretty selfish person. I don't fit in anywhere. And I have no one. I can't trust anyone not even myself.
I don't want to be an elderly person or an old woman. I'm scared of pain. I want to order N I'm wondering if one bottle would be enough or if I'd have to drink two?
I'm completely terrified of what comes after I'm scared of going to hell. I'm really really scared of hell. But if I keep living maybe I'll go there anyways? Truthfully I wish I had never been born. I just want to drink N and drift off to sleep and never wake up...
I've been putting it off because of how scared I am of hell and because I know it's a permanent thing and that I'll never see my boyfreind or dog again and that he will move on with his life and meet someone else and they'll take my place with my dog.
But I know I have to do it.
I'm fucked up. Easily paranoid. Easily upset. I haven't been a good person.
My family is messed up. I don't even have a shot at life and nothing interests me at all. I'll admit I'm pretty selfish person. I don't fit in anywhere. And I have no one. I can't trust anyone not even myself.
I don't want to be an elderly person or an old woman. I'm scared of pain. I want to order N I'm wondering if one bottle would be enough or if I'd have to drink two?
I'm completely terrified of what comes after I'm scared of going to hell. I'm really really scared of hell. But if I keep living maybe I'll go there anyways? Truthfully I wish I had never been born. I just want to drink N and drift off to sleep and never wake up...
I've been putting it off because of how scared I am of hell and because I know it's a permanent thing and that I'll never see my boyfreind or dog again and that he will move on with his life and meet someone else and they'll take my place with my dog.
But I know I have to do it.