Venting I've been feeling so overwhelmed recently

[draingang]

I'm a high school senior and exam season is approaching quickly. I know it's my fault that I've been sweeping everything under the rug and now I have a ton of studying to do in the span of less than 2 months but I don't think I can do it. I'm thinking about dropping out but I know it would be a waste of 12 years of my life. I feel like a complete failure, I don't have any plans for the future. I don't even know what university course I wanna study but now I'm doubting I'll even get into one. I know it sounds corny but I just feel numb. I have no motivation to study and nobody understands. There's noone I can rely on. I think my mom tries to be supportive but all she does is remind me of the fact that I have less than 2 months until the exams and it makes me feel uneasy. How do I even find motivation to study when I have no real reason for it? Everywhere I've seen on the internet, people say you should have a reason to study first and foremost, but I don't have that. I guess the only reason would be to not starve to death when I'm not under my mom's care anymore, but I don't even wanna continue studying but my whole family would probably kill me if i didn't.
I feel so hopeless, scared and miserable. I can't even cry because of the stress. Days have been feeling unreal like a fever dream recently.
I'm sorry if a post like this doesn't belong here, I don't have any other place to vent.

 

[PoorlyTinted]

i feel you. the school system is way the fuck out of whack. they make it seem like its a positive thing and they actually give a shit about the students. but they dont. they just take away the child hoods out of people that never signed up for this shit. its a misserable place. work and work builds up and crushes us. i hope you get through it though and find happiness

 

[draingang]

i feel you. the school system is way the fuck out of whack. they make it seem like its a positive thing and they actually give a shit about the students. but they dont. they just take away the child hoods out of people that never signed up for this shit. its a misserable place. work and work builds up and crushes us. i hope you get through it though and find happiness

i dont necesserialy think that schools destroy childhoods but the system is definitely deeply flawed but besides that i wasnt cut out for society and on top of that im extremely lazy so i guess its probably mostly my own fault

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound stressful and tiring what you have to endure, I see it as being cruel how people are forced into this world just to be burdened with all these expectations. Life certainly is something so terrible, but anyway best wishes.

 

[PoorlyTinted]

i dont necesserialy think that schools destroy childhoods but the system is definitely deeply flawed but besides that i wasnt cut out for society and on top of that im extremely lazy so i guess its probably mostly my own fault

no!!! its not your fault. what i meant by destroying child hoods is that it just takes up all of our time. we get 3 months out of the year to actually be ourselves. its not that your lazy but teachers have lack of an effort to help you through school.

 

[kindalone]

School was a nightmare for me too. I had no direction and therefore no motivation to actually study. I ended up winging it with almost no studying because I honestly didn't care. I graduated with below average grades. I still wonder what could have motivated me to work harder but honestly I don't know. For some of us there really is no goal we wanna achieve so everything will feel forced upon us.

 

[burningbin]

I'm a high school senior and exam season is approaching quickly. I know it's my fault that I've been sweeping everything under the rug and now I have a ton of studying to do in the span of less than 2 months but I don't think I can do it. I'm thinking about dropping out but I know it would be a waste of 12 years of my life. I feel like a complete failure, I don't have any plans for the future. I don't even know what university course I wanna study but now I'm doubting I'll even get into one. I know it sounds corny but I just feel numb. I have no motivation to study and nobody understands. There's noone I can rely on. I think my mom tries to be supportive but all she does is remind me of the fact that I have less than 2 months until the exams and it makes me feel uneasy. How do I even find motivation to study when I have no real reason for it? Everywhere I've seen on the internet, people say you should have a reason to study first and foremost, but I don't have that. I guess the only reason would be to not starve to death when I'm not under my mom's care anymore, but I don't even wanna continue studying but my whole family would probably kill me if i didn't.
I feel so hopeless, scared and miserable. I can't even cry because of the stress. Days have been feeling unreal like a fever dream recently.
I'm sorry if a post like this doesn't belong here, I don't have any other place to vent.

honestly, experiment and try and find something you enjoy, then hold onto it.