VolatilePotato

VolatilePotato

BPD, boohooman
Feb 22, 2020
69
Hey everyone. I'm not gonna sugar cost it or anything. I genuinely don't want to be alive any longer. I've tried everything from dying to trying and I'm just tired of constantly struggling. So far, I haven't had any luck with my attempts. I want something painful, but something that wont draw on for weeks.
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
May I ask why you want a painful exit? I'm sorry it's come to this and sorry you've suffered through so many attempts.
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
Well, we don't hand out answers like that, really. If you go to the Resources Compilation megathread under the site rules you'll see there's a list of methods. Check them out, see what resonates for you, have conversations.

Sorry you've had what seems like a pretty shit year so far. Sending compassion.
 
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VolatilePotato

VolatilePotato

BPD, boohooman
Feb 22, 2020
69
May I ask why you want a painful exit? I'm sorry it's come to this and sorry you've suffered through so many attempts.


I think I've just given up. I've never felt that before, like I've always had fight in me. But, well, it's gone now. Everything fell apart at the beginning of this year, and I'm just tired, drained, and suffering immense mental and emotional pain. It feels like torture
 
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Sunshine

Sunshine

Experienced
Jan 11, 2019
205
Hey everyone. I'm not gonna sugar cost it or anything. I genuinely don't want to be alive any longer. I've tried everything from dying to trying and I'm just tired of constantly struggling. So far, I haven't had any luck with my attempts. I want something painful, but something that wont draw on for weeks.

Sounds like you always went with impulsive methods if you attempted 10 times just this year and didn't die. If you truly want to die, you need to take your time and plan it. Not be impulsive about it again and say I just want something painful. I mean if you 100% are sure and don't fear pain or anything you can literally just jump out of the highest building or put your head on the train tracks, but you're likely to back out of that if you aren't certain so I'd recommend to take it slow and research.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
I think I've just given up. I've never felt that before, like I've always had fight in me. But, well, it's gone now. Everything fell apart at the beginning of this year, and I'm just tired, drained, and suffering immense mental and emotional pain. It feels like torture

That explains why you would want an effective method, but not a painful one.

You should probably give some though to whether deep down it's more important to you to suicide effectively with less pain, or painfully with less effectiveness. That might give some insight into your true motivations.
 
Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
654
With the greatest respect and compassion, no one on here is going to advise you on how to kill yourself. That's not what this forum is about. There are plenty of resources megethreads as someone previously stated. I'm sorry you are struggling so much. Maybe you need to get to the root of your problem as 10 attempts is a lot and maybe you are acting on impulse rather than thinking it through fully? Perhaps it's not really your desire and it's just that you require help, support and compassion? I hope you figure it out.
 
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