Venting I've always felt like my depression wasn't justified

[Aimless]

I don't really have anything to complain about that isn't the result of me being lazy or stubborn. I don't have any traumas or mental disorders, just bad grades due to not doing my homework and loneliness because I'm too scared/stubborn to meet new people. For me, suicide is just an easier way out than to actually put in the work to improve my life, even though that is totally realistic as well.
I always read about people who are depressed because of traumas/abuse/mental disorders etc. and I feel like I shouldn't be depressed and am just lazy. Anyone else feel this way?

 

[lonelymountaingirl]

My life is really not that bad, considering where I was not even two months ago.

Everyone is amazed at how well I'm doing for myself. Car, job; everything a Real Person needs to do, I'm doing it.

Little do they know, though—
I am running very dangerously low on fuel and cares to give.

Haha.

 

[dropdeadfred]

I am firm believer that however it does it, the world makes us how we are. You are valid in your feelings. Whatever it is making you not want to try (you mentioned scared, stubborn, & depressed) is something.

 

[Aimless]

I am firm believer that however it does it, the world makes us how we are. You are valid in your feelings. Whatever it is making you not want to try (you mentioned scared, stubborn, & depressed) is something.

Thank you for saying this. I have always felt like 'I don't feel like it' is a valid argument to not do something, but many people disagree, and I guess they have a point as well. I often wonder if it is just harder for me to get myself to do something, or if I'm lazier than other people, or maybe they're the same thing.

 

[Peachycherry]

No, you are absolutely not alone. I also never experienced 'tough situations' like abuse, yet suffer from depression. One thing that I've had to accept is that depression isn't exclusive and can affect anyone, at any age, in any situation. The main reason behind that is that depression is often seen as a lack of motivation or another character flaw like laziness, when in reality it's just as much as a physiological illness than cancer. Depression is mostly caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. You don't necessarily need to be going through a rough patch to develop it. It might be the result of heredity or simply fucked up brain balance. Don't be so hard on yourself; you wouldn't blame someone for having cancer, and you wouldn't blame them for feeling symptoms of cancer. In that same way, lack of energy, which is often perceived as 'laziness', is actually a classic symptom of depression. And even if you were simply lazy, your feelings are still valid. Who doesn't feel lazy at some point? I sure do.
I especially relate to when you said you don't want to put in the effort to improve. I'm in that same situation; it just doesn't seem worth it. I can't imagine fighting against depression for the rest of my life, it doesn't seem possible for me. I can't even leave my house, so I can't imagine having to get therapy. I know realistically it's not that difficult, but I'm too exhausted from life to do it.
With that being said, do try to seek help if you haven't. It's worth a try since plenty of people recover from depression. Wish you the best

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I still struggle with this. I posted about it a few months ago, I think. One comment that really stuck with me was this...

Saying you don't have a right to be depressed because other people have it worse is analogous to dying you shouldn't feel happy because others have it better.

Our lives and experiences are all different. The way we perceive and process those experiences is different. We have different capacities for pain and hardship, and different thresholds for joy. Our feelings are *our* feelings, and they are valid.

 

[Lilacmoon]

plenty of people struggle with this, so don't worry, you're in good(?) sad(?) company.
everyone's feelings are valid. no judgment.

 

[dropdeadfred]

Thank you for saying this. I have always felt like 'I don't feel like it' is a valid argument to not do something, but many people disagree, and I guess they have a point as well. I often wonder if it is just harder for me to get myself to do something, or if I'm lazier than other people, or maybe they're the same thing.

I have struggled with these thoughts as well. Society says it's unacceptable to solely lack motivation & therefore, if there is no known "cause" for it (by their definitions), you are an asshole. Ridiculous. I have struggled with lack of motivation since age 10- didn't feel depressed; couldn't put my finger on a solid reason as to "why." It was after that I was diagnosed with clinical depression. While I do believe I developed depression, maybe the cause of it was that I realized I just didn't fit in with such a high expectation society. I functioned differently than many: I still do. Only difference for me now is unbearable fatigue. I get it. Makes me feel less alone to relate.

 

[Aeathelina]

I have a bad habit of comparing trauma with others. All my trauma is mostly self inflicted and the side effects are severe like my sister's. Her trauma renders her incapacitated during trigger dates and attempted suicide. Where as mine just leaves me with slight physical scars and ED but not visually worse than hers.

 

[raindrops]

I don't really have anything to complain about that isn't the result of me being lazy or stubborn. I don't have any traumas or mental disorders, just bad grades due to not doing my homework and loneliness because I'm too scared/stubborn to meet new people. For me, suicide is just an easier way out than to actually put in the work to improve my life, even though that is totally realistic as well.
I always read about people who are depressed because of traumas/abuse/mental disorders etc. and I feel like I shouldn't be depressed and am just lazy. Anyone else feel this way?

Yup I feel this way.
I feel stupid for wanting to die because I'm in love and I ruined it and now we speak and everything is going so well I can forget sometimes that we split up, now we're okay I feel pushy, like I'm asking for it to be back to how it was without the negative bits too soon.
I'm so lonely too, I barely have friends because we were together 11 years!! I ignored friends, we did everything together literally, some say thats bad but I thought we did okay, we had fun, we were like a team. The small things like he would pick me up from work... today was my first day at work in winter, its dark by 5, I cried on the way home remembering how he use to pick me up, how we'd laugh, go home put tv on, make dinner.
Now I have to walk home in the fkn dark, alone, go home alone. I wish and want so badly to go home to him. I cried because I've never had to do what I did today, yeah thats right 'walk home' sad isn't it? I just miss what I had and wish I didn't take so much for granted.
I'm speaking to him now actually, how I wish it was like before, but happier, more chill without the bad parts. I use to moan if he wasn't there to pick me up on time... now I wish to at least be walking home to him. Being alone is horrible I hate it.

When I said sad, I mean sad as in pathetic.

 

[Aimless]

Yup I feel this way.
I feel stupid for wanting to die because I'm in love and I ruined it and now we speak and everything is going so well I can forget sometimes that we split up, now we're okay I feel pushy, like I'm asking for it to be back to how it was without the negative bits too soon.
I'm so lonely too, I barely have friends because we were together 11 years!! I ignored friends, we did everything together literally, some say thats bad but I thought we did okay, we had fun, we were like a team. The small things like he would pick me up from work... today was my first day at work in winter, its dark by 5, I cried on the way home remembering how he use to pick me up, how we'd laugh, go home put tv on, make dinner.
Now I have to walk home in the fkn dark, alone, go home alone. I wish and want so badly to go home to him. I cried because I've never had to do what I did today, yeah thats right 'walk home' sad isn't it? I just miss what I had and wish I didn't take so much for granted.
I'm speaking to him now actually, how I wish it was like before, but happier, more chill without the bad parts. I use to moan if he wasn't there to pick me up on time... now I wish to at least be walking home to him. Being alone is horrible I hate it.

When I said sad, I mean sad as in pathetic.

I don't think you're pathetic. I can't imagine being in a serious relationship with someone for 11 years, and then having to get used to living without them, especially if you don't have anyone else to talk with. Being alone is something that in some situations only gets worse, because you are alone with your thoughts, and you make yourself believe that it's your fault, or that you deserve it.
I hope you're able to recover from this and find happiness again.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Your depression is a medical disorder so it does not need to be justified, in the same way that you do not need to justify having a bone fracture.