people know i'm not doing well, but i don't think they have any idea that i'm actively planning an attempt to ctb
i work 40 hours a week and have to somehow try and keep that up, but my performance is starting to degrade more and more regardless of how much i try. i fear i might get into some trouble soon and i really dont want to deal with that
i also have to act normal in my day to day life so i don't alarm people, but its getting harder and harder to keep that act up. i just genuinely dont care about anything anymore and i dont have the energy to pretend for much longer, and people are starting to really notice. my parents and friends noticed that i dont do anything in my free time anymore and dont really plan for the future.
i need to keep going. i need to keep planning, i should contact dmc and see what my options are, but im paranoid about being found out.
i care so little about anything that even continuing to make plans is difficult to care about, but i have to put some effort into this if i finally want to get some rest
i wish life could be worth living. i really do want to try, but i've tried to enjoy life my whole life now but again and again i am reminded of how i am not allowed to be happy
i dont trust anyone anymore, i enjoy barely anything and when i do its just to make life a little more tolerable, i hate my life and know i always will, i hate the current state and future of the world we live in
im tired man i gotta get my hands on SN already and get shit over with
my biggest comfort in life is the thought that it will end. i crave death so badly that its the only thing preventing me from losing my mind at this point
im not scared of death and never have been. its simply the end of life, and im ready for it to end any second now
tomorrow yet another day of having to endure everything life throws at me
at least it wont be forever. im sure it wont take that long anymore, i definitely wont make it to the end of the year if everything goes as planned. i dont have to keep fighting for much longer. soon i will finally be able to rest when all my preparations are made
i just have to keep being careful when going through the process of buying SN, and im sure itll all be fine
i hope i can find the strength to keep this up until i can finally put an end to it
i work 40 hours a week and have to somehow try and keep that up, but my performance is starting to degrade more and more regardless of how much i try. i fear i might get into some trouble soon and i really dont want to deal with that
i also have to act normal in my day to day life so i don't alarm people, but its getting harder and harder to keep that act up. i just genuinely dont care about anything anymore and i dont have the energy to pretend for much longer, and people are starting to really notice. my parents and friends noticed that i dont do anything in my free time anymore and dont really plan for the future.
i need to keep going. i need to keep planning, i should contact dmc and see what my options are, but im paranoid about being found out.
i care so little about anything that even continuing to make plans is difficult to care about, but i have to put some effort into this if i finally want to get some rest
i wish life could be worth living. i really do want to try, but i've tried to enjoy life my whole life now but again and again i am reminded of how i am not allowed to be happy
i dont trust anyone anymore, i enjoy barely anything and when i do its just to make life a little more tolerable, i hate my life and know i always will, i hate the current state and future of the world we live in
im tired man i gotta get my hands on SN already and get shit over with
my biggest comfort in life is the thought that it will end. i crave death so badly that its the only thing preventing me from losing my mind at this point
im not scared of death and never have been. its simply the end of life, and im ready for it to end any second now
tomorrow yet another day of having to endure everything life throws at me
at least it wont be forever. im sure it wont take that long anymore, i definitely wont make it to the end of the year if everything goes as planned. i dont have to keep fighting for much longer. soon i will finally be able to rest when all my preparations are made
i just have to keep being careful when going through the process of buying SN, and im sure itll all be fine
i hope i can find the strength to keep this up until i can finally put an end to it
