Its very bad right now

[xxAbigailxx]

I feel so so bad I can't. I need to go out of my skin I need to just leave. I can't stay in my body god I wish I could just rip my skin off. I hate it hate this I need help. O need help. I really need help need help. They dont help me though they never do I tell them and they say they r listening but htey never hELP I NEED HELP I HATE THEM I FUCKING HATE THEM THEY NEVER HELP. i just hate this i need someon

 

[Winterreise]

Hi, what are you struggling with?

 

[xxAbigailxx]

pls I just need someone I cant do this anymore, m so fucking lonely. I swear im loyal and nice and I can make myself pretty I just need someone to stay
I can take pain or smthng i just need someone to stay idc who

 

[Winterreise]

You seem to be in very bad shape.
Where are you from?

 

[xxAbigailxx]

Hi, what are you struggling with?

everything, it just feels so much right now, I despise being in my body right now, my skin feels so tight
I just hate this nothing changes, pls I just need idk. I cant take this anymore someone tell me what to do plspls i will listen just something

You seem to be in very bad shape.
Where are you from?

Austria, so far away, nobody to kill me or just get me

 

[LoiteringClouds]

everything, it just feels so much right now, I despise being in my body right now, my skin feels so tight
I just hate this nothing changes, pls I just need idk. I cant take this anymore someone tell me what to do plspls i will listen just something

I'm so sorry to hear that. You've said you have diabetes type 1 in another thread. Do you feel pain or discomfort now? Is tight skin painful?
Diabetes type 1 is definitely not your fault but it seems that you can't do anything about your condition. Life is cruel.
I wish you the best

 

[Winterreise]

Do you have any relatives, network, health care personell locking after you?

 

[xxAbigailxx]

Why is there no change i need and they just dont do anything. i hate this why why why there is nothing i can do I need , my body needs to be gone BUT NOBODY LISTENS AND THEY DONT CARE they say they care but dont listen
Im not bad i promise I am really not bad i just need help and dont know what to do but i can be good i can be but I dont know how to escape this

I'm so sorry to hear that. You've said you have diabetes type 1 in another thread. Do you feel pain or discomfort now? Is tight skin painful?
Diabetes type 1 is definitely not your fault but it seems that you can't do anything about your condition. Life is cruel.
I wish you the best

yes tight I wanna get out of my skin but cant and idk what to do nobody tells me what I can do to make it better even though I asked already

Do you have any relatives, network, health care personell locking after you?

Mother but she is gone right now and she doesnt do anything, she cant do anything but i need something to change, she isnt a bad mother she just cant do anything and i hate this
Im not retarded or stupid Im not ist just really bad right now and i cant control my limbs that much cus I wanna get out of my skin
I think Im not normal i mean I know im not normal but to cover is hard and I thought. The thing is I have so many problems and idk how to solve I asked the therapist but she doesnt wanna help or something and i am not sure if its too much in me, like if there is too much wrong so that it cant be solved anymore. maybe it too late. I dont see a solution and i talked so much already, am i bad?? I dont think that I am bad but sometimes i dont know. i sometimes want to be bad because i feel bad but i dont want to really. i cant get my thoughts out properly maybe thats why nobody can help me. typing this helps though because i dont have to be logical or smthng i just type what i think or feel kind of

i just really need stop or change or someone

and i always take things in a bad way never maybe not. nobody answers, they watch me and think i am weird and fucked up so they dont say anything or why did they say it like that must be bad. I dont know what humans mean or how i was, its really hard, please just listen to me, dont ignore me
I dont wanna be weird. I feel so weird but i wnat to be loved and want to be adorable but i feel so weird. Maybe i wasnt finished when creating and now I am kind of not whole or functional or how I am supposed to be. Like a mistake, wasnt meant to be? Not ready and now here like a robot who just stutters cus programing isnt finished yet but maker is dead so he cant finish it?
And I also feel like I dissapear when alone? Can someone remember me please. In someones head so i exist, but I sometimes also dont want to exist, its so often like that. I want stuff but I also want the opposite and thats why I can never be happy. I want this but the opposite also, maybe its a curse. I want to be loved and cherished and remembered, but I wanna be gone and hurt as much as possible until i get insane. What is wrong with me???

 

[Caoine01]

Hello,

it would be helpfull if you give us more information.

If you like you could send me a PM aternative.

 

[qwerty1969]

I understand because I am the same

 

[xxAbigailxx]

I understand because I am the same

You feel same? So i am not alone? do you also want opposites and pain? What do you feel please tell me please. Do you know whats wrong with us?

 

[jodes2]

You're not bad. We'll remember you is there anything we can do?

 

[LoiteringClouds]

yes tight I wanna get out of my skin but cant and idk what to do nobody tells me what I can do to make it better even though I asked already

I think you definitely deserve medical attention but I'm sorry that it seems your doctor doesn't care about your skin condition.

Do you think you have "digital sclerosis"? Does moisturizer help? I think you've already tried it, though...
https://www.everydayhealth.com/type-2-diabetes/living-with/diabetic-skin-problems/

Sorry for being useless...

 

[xxAbigailxx]

You're not bad. We'll remember you is there anything we can do?

stay? Yes remember me, you are good people, the only good people. Only ones who know and dont make it worse

 

[anguila_anguila]

Why is there no change i need and they just dont do anything. i hate this why why why there is nothing i can do I need , my body needs to be gone BUT NOBODY LISTENS AND THEY DONT CARE they say they care but dont listen
Im not bad i promise I am really not bad i just need help and dont know what to do but i can be good i can be but I dont know how to escape this

yes tight I wanna get out of my skin but cant and idk what to do nobody tells me what I can do to make it better even though I asked already

Mother but she is gone right now and she doesnt do anything, she cant do anything but i need something to change, she isnt a bad mother she just cant do anything and i hate this
Im not retarded or stupid Im not ist just really bad right now and i cant control my limbs that much cus I wanna get out of my skin
I think Im not normal i mean I know im not normal but to cover is hard and I thought. The thing is I have so many problems and idk how to solve I asked the therapist but she doesnt wanna help or something and i am not sure if its too much in me, like if there is too much wrong so that it cant be solved anymore. maybe it too late. I dont see a solution and i talked so much already, am i bad?? I dont think that I am bad but sometimes i dont know. i sometimes want to be bad because i feel bad but i dont want to really. i cant get my thoughts out properly maybe thats why nobody can help me. typing this helps though because i dont have to be logical or smthng i just type what i think or feel kind of

i just really need stop or change or someone

and i always take things in a bad way never maybe not. nobody answers, they watch me and think i am weird and fucked up so they dont say anything or why did they say it like that must be bad. I dont know what humans mean or how i was, its really hard, please just listen to me, dont ignore me
I dont wanna be weird. I feel so weird but i wnat to be loved and want to be adorable but i feel so weird. Maybe i wasnt finished when creating and now I am kind of not whole or functional or how I am supposed to be. Like a mistake, wasnt meant to be? Not ready and now here like a robot who just stutters cus programing isnt finished yet but maker is dead so he cant finish it?
And I also feel like I dissapear when alone? Can someone remember me please. In someones head so i exist, but I sometimes also dont want to exist, its so often like that. I want stuff but I also want the opposite and thats why I can never be happy. I want this but the opposite also, maybe its a curse. I want to be loved and cherished and remembered, but I wanna be gone and hurt as much as possible until i get insane. What is wrong with me???

Sounds like you are in a bad way right now. Do you have access to any mental health professionals?

 

[xxAbigailxx]

I think you definitely deserve medical attention but I'm sorry that it seems your doctor doesn't care about your skin condition.

Do you think you have "digital sclerosis"? Does moisturizer help? I think you've already tried it, though...
https://www.everydayhealth.com/type-2-diabetes/living-with/diabetic-skin-problems/

Sorry for being useless...

noo you are not useless, you talk to me thats so nice, and you searched for me, i like you. I dont know I think its inside me, like something inside me wants to break out

 

[qwerty1969]

No one understands what I am going through. I have given up. Just suffering. Can't control what I can't control. It's frustrating.

 

[xxAbigailxx]

Sounds like you are in a bad way right now. Do you have access to any mental health professionals?

Idk i dont think so, i have a therapist but idk if she helps me

No one understands what I am going through. I have given up. Just suffering. Can't control what I can't control. It's frustrating.

yes its so frustrating, how did you give up? I cant give up I think i dont know how I wish I could. I cant let go of things

 

[qwerty1969]

I hear you because I give up then fight it's a cycle I have no control over. It's 2am here I just ordered McDonald's I do this sort of crap every night.

 

[anguila_anguila]

Idk i dont think so, i have a therapist but idk if she helps me

Therapists can be hit or miss tbh. Sometimes it can be necessary to change therapists to find one that fits right with you, and who helps you in a way that you feel is useful.
I've been to a lot of counsellors, therapists, life coaches etc. and there were only 1 or two who really meshed because of the way they tried to help me resolve my problems and I felt like they really helped. However, one even felt like he was scamming me :(
I'm really hoping that just talking with us is helping at least a little.

Have you been feeling this way for long?

No one understands what I am going through. I have given up. Just suffering. Can't control what I can't control. It's frustrating.

I've found the only people who ever have any clue about how I'm feeling in my darkest moments are other sufferers.
Too many "normal" people just seem to think you are a "bit sad" and just "get over it".... frustrating as hell, but that's why I don't usually confide in anyone, I just keep it all to myself.

 

[xxAbigailxx]

Therapists can be hit or miss tbh. Sometimes it can be necessary to change therapists to find one that fits right with you, and who helps you in a way that you feel is useful.
I've been to a lot of counsellors, therapists, life coaches etc. and there were only 1 or two who really meshed because of the way they tried to help me resolve my problems and I felt like they really helped. However, one even felt like he was scamming me :(
I'm really hoping that just talking with us is helping at least a little.

Have you been feeling this way for long?

Yes talking to you helps so much. People answered and talk to me and I appreciate that so much. You are the best people and I wish I could show you how much you help me right now.

Yes often, something happens or many stuff builds up and then this happens and I asked my therapist what I can do, but she didnt really give me an answer. I also talk to my mother often how I feel but she cant do anything, she can only listen and I have a complicated past with her so sometimes it makes it worse.

I am calming down right now

I hear you because I give up then fight it's a cycle I have no control over. It's 2am here I just ordered McDonald's I do this sort of crap every night.

Its bad, right? Because its always the same and you feel the same and say the same and you are sick of it because its always the same and nothing changes after. And it repeats and repeats and repeats. Maybe its hell?

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that therapy is a scam and other people don't care about our suffering even if they pretend to. We are all alone in this hellish world and I'm sorry that life has tortured you so much. It certainly can be so awful feeling trapped in a situation that you hate.

 

[xxAbigailxx]

The reality is that therapy is a scam and other people don't care about our suffering even if they pretend to. We are all alone in this hellish world and I'm sorry that life has tortured you so much. It certainly can be so awful feeling trapped in a situation that you hate.

But people like us exist and we understand each other a little, right? I wish I could talk to you forever because I know you understand suffering and because of that kind of understand me maybe? See, I cant let go of things...and thats leading to these situations because I cant let go of things...its a circle and I am too stupid to realize it or escape it

 

[anguila_anguila]

Yes talking to you helps so much. People answered and talk to me and I appreciate that so much. You are the best people and I wish I could show you how much you help me right now.

Yes often, something happens or many stuff builds up and then this happens and I asked my therapist what I can do, but she didnt really give me an answer. I also talk to my mother often how I feel but she cant do anything, she can only listen and I have a complicated past with her so sometimes it makes it worse.

I am calming down right now

That's good to hear you are calming down.
I wish I could you definite answers for what to do when stuff builds up, for me a few things work to some degree:
One therapist told me to write a letter to people who had bullied me in school (people I still held a lot of resentment for) and other people I had had difficulties with (like my father). The letters were to contain all my feelings about the events and tell the person how they had made me feel. Once finished, I had to read the letter, then put it in an envelope and burn it (or carefully dispose of it).

Listening to really heavy music and singing to it is another way I get out some of my anger and self loathing. Playing the bass also kind of helps for that.

Lastly, I take my motorbike out for a ride - that last one can be a little dangerous though if I am not fully paying attention.

 

[qwerty1969]

My only real world friend just messaged me not to message her anymore. This happens often. People don't want to deal with other people's issues. We are all alone.

 

[xxAbigailxx]

That's good to hear you are calming down.
I wish I could you definite answers for what to do when stuff builds up, for me a few things work to some degree:
One therapist told me to write a letter to people who had bullied me in school (people I still held a lot of resentment for) and other people I had had difficulties with (like my father). The letters were to contain all my feelings about the events and tell the person how they had made me feel. Once finished, I had to read the letter, then put it in an envelope and burn it (or carefully dispose of it).

Listening to really heavy music and singing to it is another way I get out some of my anger and self loathing. Playing the bass also kind of helps for that.

Lastly, I take my motorbike out for a ride - that last one can be a little dangerous though if I am not fully paying attention.

I will note these things and try them one by one. Maybe something helps. I trust you more than someone who doesnt understand because they dont know pain.

 

[anguila_anguila]

The reality is that therapy is a scam and other people don't care about our suffering even if they pretend to. We are all alone in this hellish world and I'm sorry that life has tortured you so much. It certainly can be so awful feeling trapped in a situation that you hate.

I disagree with this.
As I said, some of the therapy genuinely did help me.
The therapist who got me to understand that my father is an a**hole really helped me work through a lot of issues. Another one also helped me with my confidence, and it helped me get a new job and change country. It worked for a number of years, until my MS came in and undid so much of the good work.
So to imply that "all therapy is a scam" is just not true.

 

[xxAbigailxx]

My only real world friend just messaged me not to message her anymore. This happens often. People don't want to deal with other people's issues. We are all alone.

No thats so cold. Why would they do this? My friend left me too, I really liked her but I felt left alone by her and then she said that maybe it would be better to not be friends anymore. I am so sorry, you answered me and helped me and I cant do anything to make it better for you..just like my mom cant make it better for me...I hate this

 

[anguila_anguila]

My only real world friend just messaged me not to message her anymore. This happens often. People don't want to deal with other people's issues. We are all alone.

Sometimes people just can't handle someone who is feeling like this.
Some people don't stick around at all when things get tough, and they aren't real friends, but some others will stick around as long as they can, before they start to feel affected by it.
In those latter cases, it isn't malice, it is just self preservation.

 

[xxAbigailxx]

Sometimes people just can't handle someone who is feeling like this.
Some people don't stick around at all when things get tough, and they aren't real friends, but some others will stick around as long as they can, before they start to feel affected by it.
In those latter cases, it isn't malice, it is just self preservation.

Yes. You are really calm and quiet. I like reading your texts, feels a liitle bit like a cold wind when I feel very warm. And you are right, things are not black and white. You have experience, right? You sound like you already live longer than me.
Thank you for calming me down, I feel more calm now. Still have worries but it is easier to make myself not think about them right now.