Dear SS forum,
My time on this forum has been very short, but i'm so happy I joined the SS community.
I have found more love and compassion towards other people, then I have experienced my whole life. (Sorry for my English btw)
I have doubted my final day for quite some time, but I feel it's the right time.
Around 03.00 hours (Central European Time / I'm from the Netherlands) I will take my SN and say farewell to all of you guys.
I want to say how grateful I'm to have spoken to some amazing people.
My preparation for this moment has been the worst. I still have finalise my suicide note, but in my mind it would never be good enough.
Around 02.30 hours I will walk to a nearby forest so I will keep you guys updated until I lose my consciousness
I still have some questions and I hope maybe some of you can share your thoughts about it:
- I'm around 60 kilograms, so should I take 20 grams SN to be sure I won't survive? Also I don't have a scale so would a full tablespoon be around 20 grams? (some of the posts on the forum can be very conflicting about the right amount of SN)
- Do you guys have any tips on what to write on your goodbye letters?
- Also, I really don't want my mother or sister to find me after I ctb, so should I write a delayed email to the emergency agency?
I'll be following Stan's guide and the Stat Dose (unfortunately without Meto)
18:00 - Fasting
01.00 - No drinking
02.00 - Take 600mg of Ibuprofen
02.30 - Take 4 tablets of Maalox
03.00 - Drink 20g SN in 50ml water (I'll have a backup dose if necessary)
I'm really sorry for my bad preparation, but I have been postponing for far too long.
If I won't be back tomorrow evening, could someone please ban this account?
Love you all!
My time on this forum has been very short, but i'm so happy I joined the SS community.
I have found more love and compassion towards other people, then I have experienced my whole life. (Sorry for my English btw)
I have doubted my final day for quite some time, but I feel it's the right time.
Around 03.00 hours (Central European Time / I'm from the Netherlands) I will take my SN and say farewell to all of you guys.
I want to say how grateful I'm to have spoken to some amazing people.
My preparation for this moment has been the worst. I still have finalise my suicide note, but in my mind it would never be good enough.
Around 02.30 hours I will walk to a nearby forest so I will keep you guys updated until I lose my consciousness
I still have some questions and I hope maybe some of you can share your thoughts about it:
- I'm around 60 kilograms, so should I take 20 grams SN to be sure I won't survive? Also I don't have a scale so would a full tablespoon be around 20 grams? (some of the posts on the forum can be very conflicting about the right amount of SN)
- Do you guys have any tips on what to write on your goodbye letters?
- Also, I really don't want my mother or sister to find me after I ctb, so should I write a delayed email to the emergency agency?
I'll be following Stan's guide and the Stat Dose (unfortunately without Meto)
18:00 - Fasting
01.00 - No drinking
02.00 - Take 600mg of Ibuprofen
02.30 - Take 4 tablets of Maalox
03.00 - Drink 20g SN in 50ml water (I'll have a backup dose if necessary)
I'm really sorry for my bad preparation, but I have been postponing for far too long.
If I won't be back tomorrow evening, could someone please ban this account?
Love you all!
