Venting It's So Beyond Over

[ImTelling]

Hello again! Long time no see.

I'm starting to consider CBT again after a small window of time where things were looking up. Anxieties start to creep in and Im starting to realise that I've fucked myself over completely. Any chance of a successful and happy life has been throughly squandered.

The urge to commit some abstract violent act before CBT plagues me. I'm not a violent person, at least I don't want to be. I'm self aware that it's my monkey brain wanting some control; getting back at some perceived injustice. I wish I had something more interesting about me other than just being fat, ugly and angry. I'm starting to bald as well.

I'm deathly afraid of kidney stones and two weeks ago I had a very intense scare when I saw pink streaks in the front of my toilet bowl. I didn't go to the doctor because my piss remained translucent throughout the day. I'm not sure if I was just imagining things or if it was something more sinister.

I'm thinking of making it a big spectacle. Something to put in the papers. If I can't kill or seriously injure people then I'll just make this death a performance piece. I'm going to paint my face like Ricardo Lopez, the Björk Stalker. Have some paintings of mine lining the floor. Blue tac some writings all over the walls of my apartment. Suicide note, will, ect.

I don't think I'm special, all I know is I want to go out before everyone realises how much of a sick puppy I am. I don't know where I'm going with this. It really does feel like I'm going to get arrested and my SN seized. Any day now my life will be forcefully taken from me and ruined permanently. I wish this paranoia could be explained as me being schizophrenic or being manic but I'm just boring and plain.

Hard on the eyes.

 

[skylight7]

Hi, I am new here. What does CBT stand for? Thanks.

 

[ImTelling]

Hi, I am new here. What does CBT stand for? Thanks.

This is the most based fucking reply ever, man. So epiccc

CBT = Catch the freakin' Bus = KILLING YOURSELFFFF

 

[Hollowman]

This is the most based fucking reply ever, man. So epiccc

CBT = Catch the freakin' Bus = KILLING YOURSELFFFF

Ummm no it's ctb

 

[ImTelling]

Ummm no it's ctb

Quick! Get Snopes on the phone! A random guy online made a minor spelling mistake!

 

[neurotic]

This is the most based fucking reply ever, man. So epiccc

CBT = Catch the freakin' Bus = KILLING YOURSELFFFF

They're new, they don't know better.

Quick! Get Snopes on the phone! A random guy online made a minor spelling mistake!

Relax.

CTB is one thing, but you're going to seriously traumatize people for something they never did to you. You're obviously not being rational and aggressive right now. Get a hold of yourself and seriously think about what you're doing.

I can tell you're very self conscious by the way you talk. I'm really sorry you hate yourself so much. The state you feel you're in can make it impossible to think it'll ever be better. If you're so worried about kidney stones, maybe you should go see a doctor to ease your stress and knock one thing off your list. I hope you can find peace.

 

[ImTelling]

They're new, they don't know better.

Relax.

CTB is one thing, but you're going to seriously traumatize people for something they never did to you. You're obviously not being rational and aggressive right now. Get a hold of yourself and seriously think about what you're doing.

I can tell you're very self conscious by the way you talk. I'm really sorry you hate yourself so much. The state you feel you're in can make it impossible to think it'll ever be better. If you're so worried about kidney stones, maybe you should go see a doctor to ease your stress and knock one thing off your list. I hope you can find peace.

I post this and a new guy comes in and asks about something he can easily look up and then some Redditor mf corrects a small spelling mistake it does feel intentional, i.e. God wants me to blow up and get banned here. Especially now that you're coming in trying to talk down to me like I'm the asshole in this situation. You people really do make life miserable. Sucking up oxygen and belching out carbon dioxide.

Im looking forward to the incoming pig smarm.

 

[neurotic]

I post this and a new guy comes in and asks about something he can easily look up and then some Redditor mf corrects a small spelling mistake it does feel intentional, i.e. God wants me to blow up and get banned here. Especially now that you're coming in trying to talk down to me like I'm the asshole in this situation. You people really do make life miserable. Sucking up oxygen and belching out carbon dioxide.

Im looking forward to the incoming pig smarm.

I really didn't mean to talk down to you, I'm sorry if it came off that way. I also understand your frustration, but you obviously know better seeing as you know you might be banned. As for the new person reading the rules, you're totally right, but I've also made mistakes like that before. They're curious about your issue. I think you may be looking too much into what people are saying. I don't want to sound hostile. I genuinely hope you can find peace and I'm thinking about you.

If you want to chat my pms are open.

 

[ImTelling]

I really didn't mean to talk down to you, I'm sorry if it came off that way. I also understand your frustration, but you obviously know better seeing as you know you might be banned. As for the new person reading the rules, you're totally right, but I've also made mistakes like that before. They're curious about your issue. I think you may be looking too much into what people are saying. I don't want to sound hostile. I genuinely hope you can find peace and I'm thinking about you.

If you want to chat my pms are open.

They're the furthest thing from giving a shit about my issues. And why would they? They were sent by God to get me kicked from the forum so I have no more support. Intentionally pressing my buttons and making me flip out. It's like God wants me to die. He wants to send me down to Hell where I get raped anally and my face gets peeled off and I'm drowning in boiling animal and human excrement for eternity. God doesn't love me. GOD HATES ME. And this is the purest example of it. I'm not being gang stalked but I am being stalked by God personally. He's making me angry and sad and not letting me be happy. Whenever I try to watch a funny video or jerk off he puts an embarrassing memory or makes up a fake memory to make me angry and just like that, the happiness goes. He wants my only pathway to be Death and I cannot deny that right now.

You're a symptom of a much bigger collusion. Sometimes people know about it but most of the time they're being mind controlled by God to carry out certain deeds. I'm trying to get to you but there's certain thoughts and ideas that are limited by technological firewalls but instead of blocking programs it's blocking thoughts. I cannot communicate with anyone here effectively. It's like a shield, an iron dome manipulated by God, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Tim Cook, Google, all these places and people. Elon Musk is trying to start a race war in England to further his agenda and get more people linked into X and God is using news stories and fake false flag operations to get into my head and make me feel like the police are going to arrest me and put me into prison to be raped and killed painfully. I'm fighting God by using SN.

THIS IS REAL.

 

[neurotic]

They're the furthest thing from giving a shit about my issues. And why would they? They were sent by God to get me kicked from the forum so I have no more support. Intentionally pressing my buttons and making me flip out. It's like God wants me to die. He wants to send me down to Hell where I get raped anally and my face gets peeled off and I'm drowning in boiling animal and human excrement for eternity. God doesn't love me. GOD HATES ME. And this is the purest example of it. I'm not being gang stalked but I am being stalked by God personally. He's making me angry and sad and not letting me be happy. Whenever I try to watch a funny video or jerk off he puts an embarrassing memory or makes up a fake memory to make me angry and just like that, the happiness goes. He wants my only pathway to be Death and I cannot deny that right now.

You're a symptom of a much bigger collusion. Sometimes people know about it but most of the time they're being mind controlled by God to carry out certain deeds. I'm trying to get to you but there's certain thoughts and ideas that are limited by technological firewalls but instead of blocking programs it's blocking thoughts. I cannot communicate with anyone here effectively. It's like a shield, an iron dome manipulated by God, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Tim Cook, Google, all these places and people. Elon Musk is trying to start a race war in England to further his agenda and get more people linked into X and God is using news stories and fake false flag operations to get into my head and make me feel like the police are going to arrest me and put me into prison to be raped and killed painfully. I'm fighting God by using SN.

THIS IS REAL.

what

 

[angelus]

Hello again! Long time no see.

I'm starting to consider CBT again after a small window of time where things were looking up. Anxieties start to creep in and Im starting to realise that I've fucked myself over completely. Any chance of a successful and happy life has been throughly squandered.

The urge to commit some abstract violent act before CBT plagues me. I'm not a violent person, at least I don't want to be. I'm self aware that it's my monkey brain wanting some control; getting back at some perceived injustice. I wish I had something more interesting about me other than just being fat, ugly and angry. I'm starting to bald as well.

I'm deathly afraid of kidney stones and two weeks ago I had a very intense scare when I saw pink streaks in the front of my toilet bowl. I didn't go to the doctor because my piss remained translucent throughout the day. I'm not sure if I was just imagining things or if it was something more sinister.

I'm thinking of making it a big spectacle. Something to put in the papers. If I can't kill or seriously injure people then I'll just make this death a performance piece. I'm going to paint my face like Ricardo Lopez, the Björk Stalker. Have some paintings of mine lining the floor. Blue tac some writings all over the walls of my apartment. Suicide note, will, ect.

I don't think I'm special, all I know is I want to go out before everyone realises how much of a sick puppy I am. I don't know where I'm going with this. It really does feel like I'm going to get arrested and my SN seized. Any day now my life will be forcefully taken from me and ruined permanently. I wish this paranoia could be explained as me being schizophrenic or being manic but I'm just boring and plain.

Hard on the eyes.

I feel the same. Since three years ago. And it never got away, on the contrary.

 

[magicalsarcoma]

Hello again! Long time no see.

I'm starting to consider CBT again after a small window of time where things were looking up. Anxieties start to creep in and Im starting to realise that I've fucked myself over completely. Any chance of a successful and happy life has been throughly squandered.

The urge to commit some abstract violent act before CBT plagues me. I'm not a violent person, at least I don't want to be. I'm self aware that it's my monkey brain wanting some control; getting back at some perceived injustice. I wish I had something more interesting about me other than just being fat, ugly and angry. I'm starting to bald as well.

I'm deathly afraid of kidney stones and two weeks ago I had a very intense scare when I saw pink streaks in the front of my toilet bowl. I didn't go to the doctor because my piss remained translucent throughout the day. I'm not sure if I was just imagining things or if it was something more sinister.

I'm thinking of making it a big spectacle. Something to put in the papers. If I can't kill or seriously injure people then I'll just make this death a performance piece. I'm going to paint my face like Ricardo Lopez, the Björk Stalker. Have some paintings of mine lining the floor. Blue tac some writings all over the walls of my apartment. Suicide note, will, ect.

I don't think I'm special, all I know is I want to go out before everyone realises how much of a sick puppy I am. I don't know where I'm going with this. It really does feel like I'm going to get arrested and my SN seized. Any day now my life will be forcefully taken from me and ruined permanently. I wish this paranoia could be explained as me being schizophrenic or being manic but I'm just boring and plain.

Hard on the eyes.

>If I can't kill or seriously injure people then I'll just make this death a performance piece. I'm going to paint my face like Ricardo Lopez, the Björk Stalker. Have some paintings of mine lining the floor. Blue tac some writings all over the walls of my apartment. Suicide note, will, ect.
Salute! Are you, uh, lonely? Or why're you interested in such things?

 

[angelus]

Extreme and long term lonelyness deprives a person of any positive emotion. Lonelyness is The Hell.
'Such things' , are indeed a last desperate attempt to cry out for help, or a morally coercitive means to attract focus, genuine interest and real solutions from people who turned blind and deaf to the torturous life and death of another fellow human being.
Public individualism and indifference, generates this kind of desperate approach.
And desperate, does not mean necessarily irrational. It is very rational.
This is it's very ROOT: Exclusive rationality, as a consequence of the deprivation of somebody of any access to positive emotional experiences.
Exclusive rational ways of dealing with life always lead to introspection and deep self analysis, which brings to the surface things and processes of the human psyche that are meant to be unconscious.
Once someone discovers them and understands them rationally, they can never be forgotten and one can no longer live with them.
Solitude is the most unbearable emotion for a human being. Extreme isolation destroys any person.
Help is mandatory need for this kind of people. And most of the times, they cry out loud ahead of time.
Lack of response or real working help determine tougher ways of crying out.