Venting Its now or the psych ward

[Zebulon]

Well, I'm between a rock and a hard place right now. One the one hand I should go to the (Open) psychward for anxiety in around 6 hours. But on the other hand, it will be 6 weeks without entertaiment, Internet and fun. I have no idea if I even have the courage to go.

I cant sleep. And am I even worth the effort it will take, just for a gamble to improve my life or ruin it further.

My -zenes (highly potent opioids) are lying 10cm away from me. One line will kill me, for sure. And for the first time I dont care about leaving a note, making an eloborate plan, planing every detail, setting, music and time. I just feel the call of the void. Right now I'm not even scared to die. Nervous yes, but not scared.

So the question I'm asking myself and you is, what should I do?

 

[Nikitatos]

It's your life. Have you been to the psych ward before?

 

[mrtime87]

If you're asking what to do, go to the psych ward. You're not ready to end your life.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

No one is going to tell you to kill yourself. If you need any kind of push from someone else, it's not the right thing to do.

Why would you stay for such a long time?

 

[Mebius]

hide them and postpone it, dont die unless youre comfortable.

 

[Zebulon]

It's your life. Have you been to the psych ward before?

Yeah, it was horrible.

hide them and postpone it, dont die unless youre comfortable.

The surprising thing is, right now I'm unually calm thinking about it. It feels like my life will end tomorrow anyways.

No one is going to tell you to kill yourself. If you need any kind of push from someone else, it's not the right thing to do.

Why would you stay for such a long time?

6 weeks is the usual duration in Germany for stationary anxiety treatment

 

[Mebius]

The surprising thing is, right now I'm unually calm thinking about it. It feels like my life will end tomorrow anyways.

Just know that you cant go back if you do decide to do it. Trust me OP, dying will take some courage. When I took SN I was scared and kinda hoped that I wont die, though I didnt call emergency. I woke up 6 hours later in my own vomit. The part where I went unconscious, I didnt remember anything.