a trained person yes, but you are not trained, and almost surely in a complete panic-state when you notice that you are not at peace as you seem to think you will be, because of the state you have then left the material world. So, not able to handle the state you are then in plus not being trained in how to communicate or even to move, you will not be able to communicate for a few years, if at all. Since you are often stating how you are so weak-willed, it might take you much much longer than just a few years.
I am not warning you for nothing ****.
You dont know yet all the dangers in the spirit-realms. It is not a civilised area, and not just for humans. There are all sorts of energetic creatures there, sentient and otherwise, well-meaning and otherwise, too many options to mention.
Most that do this suicide you wish for, do not make it in time and in good state to the light that some species talk about, because of several reasons. Most of those reasons come down to apathy, fear of the unknown, or plain simple confusion.
When one is not ready to leave the material world yet, then one is often also not ready to leave that world fully behind, and then things can go horribly wrong in the spirit world.
I will leave these words here for you to comtemplate. Do with it what you must.