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Antigonish

Antigonish

Mage
Sep 19, 2020
593
Don't know why, and there really isn't anything to blame. But my emotional levels are becoming uncontrollable again. The constant up and down is just shit. From happy, to angry, to hypersexual, but most of all it's the emptiness I can't stand. I can just feel the depression creeping back. And oddly enough the only thing that makes me the slightest bit okay, is being around depressing things. Hearing that I'm not some weird alien, and knowing that others are feeling the same. It becomes hazardous to do anything, when I want to do is be alone. In a room, very dark room, with the blinds closed and no television.

Idk. I guess it's pretty hard to put in words. I think I just needed to talk to someone about it or try to explain it. But its suffocating, and what I hate most is that it goes away. Sometimes for a few months, sometimes for about a year. But it always comes back, and it's usually when I'm starting to feel optimistic about things.

I'm thinking maybe it's my job, maybe I should quit. Or maybe it's the place I live, maybe I should move. Maybe it's just me, maybe I should just die. Because if it's me, I cant run away from myself, right?

Idk, if you've ever felt like this, what do you do to kill the emptiness. The void or boredom.
 
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VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
i usually opt for mindless distractions, like playing online or mobile games, netflix, and the like. i also tend to listen to music i like while i'm doing these things, so i don't have to do a lot of thinking.

if being around depressing things alleviates this feeling, why not read some depressing or tragic literature? sad music? that usually helps me get through the night.
 
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Antigonish

Antigonish

Mage
Sep 19, 2020
593
i usually opt for mindless distractions, like playing online or mobile games, netflix, and the like. i also tend to listen to music i like while i'm doing these things, so i don't have to do a lot of thinking.

if being around depressing things alleviates this feeling, why not read some depressing or tragic literature? sad music? that usually helps me get through the night.

Thanks, I'll try.
 
antigone_iris

antigone_iris

Wizard
Oct 25, 2020
650
I've felt very much like that. I still do. It's the worst when the days just go by and I start to panic. To cope, I distract myself by doing chores, reading articles, making stuff - DIY, cooking, playing music etc. Journaling is pretty cool, helps me get things off my chest, uncensored.
 
mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,399
Don't know why, and there really isn't anything to blame. But my emotional levels are becoming uncontrollable again. The constant up and down is just shit. From happy, to angry, to hypersexual, but most of all it's the emptiness I can't stand. I can just feel the depression creeping back. And oddly enough the only thing that makes me the slightest bit okay, is being around depressing things. Hearing that I'm not some weird alien, and knowing that others are feeling the same. It becomes hazardous to do anything, when I want to do is be alone. In a room, very dark room, with the blinds closed and no television.

Idk. I guess it's pretty hard to put in words. I think I just needed to talk to someone about it or try to explain it. But its suffocating, and what I hate most is that it goes away. Sometimes for a few months, sometimes for about a year. But it always comes back, and it's usually when I'm starting to feel optimistic about things.

I'm thinking maybe it's my job, maybe I should quit. Or maybe it's the place I live, maybe I should move. Maybe it's just me, maybe I should just die. Because if it's me, I cant run away from myself, right?

Idk, if you've ever felt like this, what do you do to kill the emptiness. The void or boredom.

I definitely feel you. At this point, I think it is just me and that death is the only answer, but I am too cowardly to die.
 

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