socrates.
is there cheese in the great beyond
- Nov 18, 2024
- 14
i'm on meds now. i haven't been self harming as much as i have around this time a year ago. but im still suicidal, mostly passively but still. im tired of wanting to die. i want to want to live but i dont know how. last time i admitted to being suicidal i got one of those mandatory interventions and it just made me better at hiding it tbh.
does the fact that i'm still alive, that i haven't killed myself yet, make me weak or strong? i don't know what comes next because i never intended to make it this far.
i have therapy on wednesday and the idea
makes me nervous but i wrote something out to say: "I have a lot of suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to open up to family or friends about them because I don't want a dramatic intervention and I hate how they fuss over me"
and we'll see what happens. if i say i'm passively suicidal im probably going to get a dramatic intervention anyway but at this point it's been a year with minimal improvement and i know i need the help but im scared.
i just feel hopeless man
does the fact that i'm still alive, that i haven't killed myself yet, make me weak or strong? i don't know what comes next because i never intended to make it this far.
i have therapy on wednesday and the idea
makes me nervous but i wrote something out to say: "I have a lot of suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to open up to family or friends about them because I don't want a dramatic intervention and I hate how they fuss over me"
and we'll see what happens. if i say i'm passively suicidal im probably going to get a dramatic intervention anyway but at this point it's been a year with minimal improvement and i know i need the help but im scared.
i just feel hopeless man