rott3navocado
Member
- Nov 27, 2024
- 13
I just want to update that things got so much better by a mile. The relationship with my stepdad and my mom really grew stronger. I still went to the same "in the middle of nowhere" school but without the pedophile who raped his sister and that freshman. Things got so much better after I cut them off and not doing substances. I actually grew to have people I liked and I joined speech and debate where in some discussions I talk about my previous experiences and turn it into a valuable speech. I forgot how much I liked to talk to people, I forgot how much I liked to plan hangouts every weekend. I forgot how it was to truly be me again. I especially loved my jrotc instructors who could see through my bullcrap they were like the dad's I never had. It is unfortunate that this will be the last time I'll be at my school that I used to truly hate deep in my heart, and yet everyone was so bitter there was truly something so sweet in the middle of it. I'm getting to the age where I wont have anyone if I keep destroying myself. I've gotten over the victim complex for the most part and im actively trying to help the people that were once in my exact situation. I'm trying not to SH as much anymore because I want to join the air force and they'll be checking for scars on my body im hoping theyll heal. I am really struggling hard because I always wanted to go to university and I barely have any time left to improve my GPA. I think community college is the route but I like the structured part of being somewhere your not familiar and going to class/ the base. In a couple of days I'll be transferring to a different high school with the same people from middle school and living back in with my grandparents. I hope I dont regress into the person I once was, I have become the best person I could possibly be and I want to be better. I want to go to college or military, I want to get a girlfriend and own cats together and buy a house in the country side or get a beautiful apartment in the city. I hope that one day I'll have so many friends that after work and I'm at every single function. I want to be able to be financially okay and make both sides of my family happy, and possibly we'll all be at a bar talking about those times again but this time I'll make more memories with those people I really care about. I was considering being a public speaker or possibly being an rotc teacher as well when I'm well and retired, and I see a little scrawny girl like I was with cuts on her upper thighs and I'll be the one talking to her softly while I'm grading her on her uniform telling her that she has a spark that most people don't have, that whenever she talks in a room everyone looks in her direction for instruction and that she is truly a natural born leader she just had to see that.
