Venting its all about suicide, im hopeless

[ger3172]

im just done. I just told someone one of my secrets, something I never talked about before, and tho they understood, nothings gonna change. this changes nothing, nothings gonna get better. everything still sucks. all I could think about was "well, minus one thing I have to mention on my suicide letter (if I even write one)"

 

[BipolarExpress]

I can understand the feeling of being "just done." *sighs*

 

[ger3172]

like seriously. been delaying this and passed my "expiration date" in hopes a miracle will happen. only a miracle can do it really. who am I fooling.

 

[jodes2]

I understand but I hope you don't give up hope, often things can get better besides, we'll miss you

 

[outrider567]

im just done. I just told someone one of my secrets, something I never talked about before, and tho they understood, nothings gonna change. this changes nothing, nothings gonna get better. everything still sucks. all I could think about was "well, minus one thing I have to mention on my suicide letter (if I even write one)"

'Nothings gonna get better' so true--Been 10 months for me, yet I'm still depressed beyond measure, especially this time of year

 

[annique]

tenho sentido que já passei da minha data de validade também,
é uma sensação muito desoladora que é difícil de se pôr em palavras

paz

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course I feel done with everything as well, at least to me it's very tiring having to continue to endure this existence where all that lies ahead is more endless suffering. It certainly is a very cruel existence that brings people to this point, but I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Brew]

I understand but I hope you don't give up hope, often things can get better

It's not‐- ...it shouldn't be something about possibility.
I hate the fact I feel like my "inner spark" never goes out, regardless of how I try to turn it off for my eyes' sake.

But it's easier to manifest destiny this way.

/=========/
I say there are very few things that do as much wonder to our brains other than traveling, and I've been running field tests on it with myself and other people. Gotta have one advantage in living in a continental country, even if I personally had no good traveling experiences whatsoever, while knowing it was my fault.
I don't even know if there's anything I can do now, besides the obvious thing that got me here in the first place.

I don't know how many times I have felt or will continue to feel this loss, but I will never start counting them down over the fact how it fills me with joy every time it was only a close call.

Humans are expired the second they are brought into this world, otherwise death would be an alien concept by now. It's what comes after our own given expiration date, or rather what goes away, is what makes us think, perceive and specially care about so many things in life and people and how much caring is a suggestion, a choice, that we are supposed to give ourselves when it will bring the best for us and to the people who threaten us to keep on living.



/========/
Because of the way you can't make multiple posts that I just realized, now an entire chunk of a previous 'post' has been lost and I'm obsessing over it.


All I can think about saying I feel like I'm still not supposed to. Keeping what's been on my head for a while now at bay might as well be what allowed these thoughts to grow so much in the first place.

 

[makethepainstop]

Personally, I am very tired of fighting a losing war. There comes a time when cold hard logic says, this cannot get better, it's time to go. I have fought and struggled for decades; I am almost done.
I can relate, really, I can.