![eatantz](/data/avatars/l/82/82515.jpg?1699213143)
eatantz
I luv dolls
- Nov 4, 2023
- 475
One of the cruelest punishments: being born an ugly girl.
Life is colourless when you're forced to be alone. I'm surrounded by people but I feel disconnected from my body, I'm watching myself from the distance. I've been so hurt by people that my perception of myself and living is shattered forever.
4 years of therapy and not a single change in my pessimistic outlook on life and my self image. I don't even know what I'm complaining about anymore it's all blurry. I fell inlove with a fallacy and it's been messing with my head.
My heart races when I picture my suicide I no longer feel excited more disappointment and void, like it won't fulfil anything. I keep begging for a change something to fix me but time keeps moving closer to my deadline, a lot can happen in a year.
I was originally going to vent about my appearance and blah blah but I'm fed up of lying to make myself feel better. I always blame my issues with people on the way I look but the fact is I'm not ugly, many people consider me pretty(
) but I use my insecurities to push the blame away from my dogshit personality.
I hate my mind, this personality, this person in me. I hate my anxiety, I'm a mess but my life is actually very good.
I think that makes it all worse, nothing is wrong with my life so why am I so suicidal? Why do I despise living so much?
They're all pointless questions since it won't matter when I'm dead. I'm scared of dying as nothing, no one will even know.
Life is colourless when you're forced to be alone. I'm surrounded by people but I feel disconnected from my body, I'm watching myself from the distance. I've been so hurt by people that my perception of myself and living is shattered forever.
4 years of therapy and not a single change in my pessimistic outlook on life and my self image. I don't even know what I'm complaining about anymore it's all blurry. I fell inlove with a fallacy and it's been messing with my head.
My heart races when I picture my suicide I no longer feel excited more disappointment and void, like it won't fulfil anything. I keep begging for a change something to fix me but time keeps moving closer to my deadline, a lot can happen in a year.
I was originally going to vent about my appearance and blah blah but I'm fed up of lying to make myself feel better. I always blame my issues with people on the way I look but the fact is I'm not ugly, many people consider me pretty(
![Nauseated face :nauseated_face: 🤢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f922.png)
I hate my mind, this personality, this person in me. I hate my anxiety, I'm a mess but my life is actually very good.
I think that makes it all worse, nothing is wrong with my life so why am I so suicidal? Why do I despise living so much?
They're all pointless questions since it won't matter when I'm dead. I'm scared of dying as nothing, no one will even know.